things that are worthwhile doin' are worth doin'

bad day...

2006-07-25T16:37:00.000+08:00

okay. i haven't been here for ages.
haha but i'm back again! woots.
since i'm back home early today and there's no test tmr, i shall spend some time blogging here.

anyway, i've kept myself a distance from the computer as i've no time.
why do i have no time?
cuz i spend them by stoning and not doing anything.
actually, i have no idea where all the time went to. maybe i do things too slowly and that i learn things like a snail. but still, i think time has a really good stamina, keeps increasing its running speed. now, five minutes is like five seconds. that short. really!

anyway, i screwwed up physics test today. feel quite sad cuz its nearing o's now but yet i still can't do my work. chem practical test today was horrible too. i've observed gases that weren't there. haha. this proves 2 points. one being i don't know my work. the other one being i'm just merely copying others. but hey, the table was 18 marks but i had so few points. so i added whatever i think could come out. haha. so in the end my qa was super off. haha. but i'm glad i studied for it. va was horrible. i didn't know how to do the mole concept question. and i have no idea how to create another test! i better buck up.

then chinese compo was crap. i felt like redoing but then i didn't have enough gao zhi so i gave up that thought. oh wait. i did not have gao zhi. haha. sigh. i think i'm gonna do quite badly for this zuo wen.

okay enough for all the bad stuff.
------------------------------------------------

oh i did quite okay for oral though i thought i screwwed it. my reading was not good as i was distracted by the other person's reading as she was too loud! this caused me a few marks. :( i thought i did best in my picture discussion cuz i did a similar topic before but it turned out that my conversation was the best! i didn't link to new idea so i thought that i would land in band 2 but i think and i hope that i'm in band 1. better work hard for the real thing! i need more vocab. and its on 23rd august at 2.15! okay. that's reallysoon.

my oral has motivated me a lot that i am now very concern about everything i do. i try to make sure that i do well in everything but then haha. sometimes i'm just too lazy. oppps! okay. get that word out of the dictionary and replace it with double hardworking. haha.

okay. there's lit mocks on 5th august. bio test 7th august. and then a week later would be prelims! i haven't started on ss yet so i'm super dead. however, i am quite sure i want to go for lit mocks so i shall mug lit for the next 2 weeks and then i will divert my attention to ss! i think its a little too late right? maybe i'll start this weekend. but for now, lit and chem! i shall settle physics sometime soon.

things i shall do today.
1. ss homework essay
2. redox and organic chem
3. act 1 of twelfth night
4. 2 topics of amath tys.
5. listen to channel 5 news at 9.30pm!

haha okay that's really a lot.
so i shall go now!
ta.
-mental note- work on history homework essay soon. due this week.

back from kedah...

2006-06-12T20:42:00.000+08:00

all right! i'm back from kedah.
actually, back on friday but only felt like blogging today. hehx. not in the mood to blog in the past few days. the final thing in scband is over and this marks the end of my journey in sc band and i feel really sad about it. i'm gonna miss sc band, my section and most of all, my beloved french horn holton 181!! ahhhhhhh! i wanna buy it! cuz it rawks!!

haha enough of that. i shall talk abit about the kedah trip.

6 days 5 nights camp is finally over. much better than expected but still, i'm not really satisfied. screwwed up the performance really badly though i wanted it to be perfect without mistakes. but that was only a dream that is far far away cuz scband wasn't prepared at all. everything was still very messy but boom! we landed on kedah and had to perform, sad to say. first and last performance in my sc band life just had to be screwwed. sighh. but its okay. just as long as the process is enjoyable, then i guess it rules everything out(: cheer up cuz it ain't that bad. found out more about many other people and had a wonderful night with wonderful people in scband whom i might never been so close if not for this camp. rather grateful actually. that night with the other three of them was just so wonderful. it was the only time that i felt that i wasn't alone in this whole world and that there are people whom i can turn to who are willing to help. (: thanks for all that!! and i love that room! HAH! i'll always remember it...

the day after the camp, reached home and unpacked my stuff. had a quick bath, read du zhe and then fell asleep. woke up at 7 plus when jia called me. my wake up call! haha. thanks! prepared and left for acjc. tune in would be fun if only i'm wasn't that tired from the camp and that if i was a better player.

in the morning was the games. i din really participate cuz i was too groggy to even think about anything. then had lunch in clementi. ate shrooms' meal! haha. the burger is cute! okay. that's really random. then went back for the band prac. the bg was super cold. maybe its also because i was really frightened by others who are so much pro-er than me. i mean i was the youngerst player who can hardly play in tune and my highest note right now is high concert c when others are like high concert f... stress. though i was the lousiest sec 4 in my section, i have no idea how i landed myself in the first. the senior beside me was very tired too so din really talk to me much. haha. so we were both stoning away. haha. then the band major came and sat beside me. more stress. haha. but his playing was good!! so pro la! ((((: haha really impressed and inspired. but now its the wrong time to be inspired cuz i'll have to concentrate on o's. but luckily he sat beside me cuz he kept me alive by talking to me. i was super tired and super cold. freezingg. somehow he noticed that i was cold while conducting the warm ups and so raised the temperature but still, the coldness has spread into my feet so he had to raise it again. haha. jia said she was perspiring la! o.O some bad incidents which i don't wanna talk about it anymore. sighh.

then reached home really exhausted. ate dinner, athed and then went to bed. then came sunday. rested the whole day and planned the time for mugging in these 2 weeks but apparently, today's the first day and i'm behind schedule. haha. cuz something happened in the morning. don't wish to bring it up here. yup.

oh i missed out the family gathering right? haha. i shall talk about it tmr.. or some other time. need to run off now!
ta.

going back..

2006-06-02T19:31:00.000+08:00

heyys.

today was quite a screwed day. but everything turned out fine in the end! i'm happy. (:

was packing for kedah this morning and so i left house late. cuz it rained before i left the house, so the ground was super wet and slippery so i had to walk extra careful and slowly. then when i reached the overhead bridge, i saw my bus coming but luckily, it was red light so i had sufficient time to cross the overhead bridge. phew! it was 8.05 am and i should be able to reach school on time. so i flagged the bus but to my horror, it was 198 instead of 66!! ahhhhh. i felt so embarassed having the bus to stop for me for an unknown reason. opps. haha. the people on the bus were staring at me as well. -.- anyway, this wasn't my first time. haha. then finally at 8.15, the bus came. sighh. its the peak hour bus la! but luckily i met christina on the bus so its not only me who's late. haha.

then finally, after 45 min, we reached school. we were so busy packing that the both of us forgot to press the bell, so we alighted at the primary school bus stop and ran all the way to the hall. when we got there, the paper had just been given out and they just started. thank goodness christina, we made it!! haha. i was quite panicky still actually cuz i wasn't very well prepared for it. aye all due to my laziness. :(

anyway, spent the first 30 min trying out different sums but realised that i couldn't get anything right. so i decided to calm down and redo the whole paper. with only an hour more to go, i hadn't even finish half the paper so in the end, i din manage to finish the whole thing. sighh. quiet sad. the sy people are like siao la! they finish the paper like how early!! add to the great amount of stress i already had. but anyways, i'm quite glad that its all over. and i'm very determined to do well for my o's. yes. start early... (:

then after the paper, decided to take three looks at the juniors. haha wanted to hear chris and shuxin play but they refused. how sad. i'm such a bad sl that can't even make my juniors play for me. haha who knows they are even better than me la! then went back to the band room to get yan's foolscap cum chem notes and off we go for lunch at picnic court at 11.45am. -.- how early. i wasn't even hungry but then no choice. haha.

after lunch, went to marks and spencer to get sweets. yan bought shuberts and something else. can't remember. haha. shuberts reminds me of neopets. no idea why. haha. anyway, is it spelt that way? haha. then met fuzzeh, op and steffi at the bus stop and went back to school together. since we were like half and hour early, yan and i decided to pop by the band room. jo was there practising alone! haha so guai! i'm sure she'll do well and pass!! yupps. then learnt that mr jeow will be keeping the band room keys and so called off yan's sectionals. then she tried to teach me esters but obviously, me being so slow can't get it . but it was time for chem lecture so we went up. felt really sleepy during the lecture but the conversation behind was really interesting. haha. and thanks yan for keeping me awake too! haha. missed mayi badly though. haha. yup i hope you are fine!

then after the lecture which ended about 10 min late, i frantically looked for my phone. couldn't find it cuz i left it in the band room.. worse of all, mr jeow took the keys alr! but still, i decided to try my luck at the general office. on the way there, met weiting with her band u!! yay! haha she rocks la! came back on friday instead of her usual planned saturday. thanks weiting!! (:

after she passed me the band u, i went to get the keys but i realised that mr jeow took it. i felt really terrible la.. then this conversation followed:
me: oh no!! mr jeow took the keys alr la! ayeee..
yan: call him la! do you have mr jeow's number?
me: yes i have..
yan: call him la!
me: but my phone is in the band room.. -.-

haha so i used yan's phone and called mr jeow. at first it din get through so i hung up. then something went wrong cuz i think mr jeow tried to call back? i don't know. then finally i got through and another conversation..
me: hello? hello? mr jeow?
mr jeow: hello. yes? who is this?
me: mr jeow, i'm meiying.
mr jeow: yes meiying?
me: oh do you have the band room keys?
mr jeow: yes why you need to go into the band room?
me: err yes. i left my phone in the band room.. -.-
mr jeow: har.. you silly girl!
me: where are you? are you in school?
mr jeow: yes. you're lucky. i just came back to school...
me: oh yes. hahahhaahhahaha.
mr jeow: okay so i see you at the band room...
me: okayy thanks!

haha thank goodness he came back cuz he had something to do. haha. he rocks la!! otherwise i'll be stranded with no phone over the weekends as well as on sunday cuz the battery would have been flat! hahahahaha. felt really happy after that. so while walking to the bus stop with yan, i was grinning all the way.. wheee at last, everything seemed right. (:

all right. that's for today. getting ready to set of for malaysia now. i'm be super tired on sunday.. travelling back and forth malaysia. killing myself really, like what mr yap said. i think i'll be too tired of sitting down. haha. 4 hours back, 10 hours up all in 24 hours!! haha

anyway, just remembered this line from the bookmark jo gave last year during syf.
don't give up when the times are the darkest,
cuz it'll be better the very next moment.
(since it can't get darker anymore...)

yup. i'll update like a week later!
ta.

i me and myself

2006-05-28T23:39:00.000+08:00

okay.
i felt compelled to write something here today. (:
be happy for me cuz i usually just read other people's blogs. woots.

anyway, i felt really scared for the whole of today. no idea why. the heart was beating really fast for the whole of today, felt really cold inside me. worried for something but i don't know what. scared about some stuff which i have no idea of. haha. i'm weird. o.o

woke up today at a really late time. slept for 12 hours straight but it was interrupted by my phone alarm. wanted to wake up at 6 to study and pack stuff but apparently i felt too tired so i went back to sleep. had hokkien mee for breakfast but it was too oily that i ate only barely half the packet and threw the rest away. shhh. don't let my mom know. hehx. then after that, packed my cupboard. everything's labelled now and i hope it'll aid in my revision for o's. i plan to go through all the worksheets given to me by june so yeah. i hope i have that self discipline to do so. then after that, my parents and my elder sister left for badminton session from 2.30 till about 6. came home, bathed then they left for dinner. bought dinner back home for us while i watched television.

haha spykids rocks! kids nowadays are so cool. they are smarter than the bad guys. woots. haha. then after spykids, watched singapore idol and weasley at random times. oh did i tell you that i had the feeling that terence tay participated in singapore idol? i was just strangely looking out for someone but i don't know who. then terence tay came in and i was like "Aaahh! him..." haha.

after that, i was packing the stuff for tmr and yeah the dsa form and band stuff. i feel so last minute and i hate myself for that. i shall have self discipline and do everything according to my plan! self motivation. i shall get everything settled tmr.

now i'm here. talking to lynn and yan is quite comforting. but right now, i'm really worried for mayi. i hope she's well and fit for tmr!! arghh! i feel like helping her do her work. o.O yup

aye i feel like closing down this blog and starting another new one. just have the urge to do it. i have a very high s profile by the way. haha. yup

ta.

random

2006-05-27T19:46:00.000+08:00

haven't posted a post for a very long time. (sometimes, when i don't feel like publishing the posts, i won't publish them)
so right now, i have no idea what to type maybe cuz i'm used to typing for myself.

anyway, have been really irritated these days in school not sure for what though. can't remember what i complain about. so im' so sorry yan and mayi for venting my anger at you all. but thanks anyway, for listening me out and finding ways to help calm me down. yepp.

anyway, the band kedah trip is coming up. i don't feel enthu about it at all. firstly, its the o's year. secondly, i'm quite unhappy with the arrangements and also the whole mood isn't there. no one's like looking forward to it. those looking forward to the trip didn't do anything to really liven up the mood i guess. i find the trip so sianz. i'm so sorry if i sound really unenthu even before the trip but really, i don't like it...

want to apply for dsa but i don't think i can get in unless they are really desperate for french horn players. hope i can get in! anyway, they will tell you on the 28th july so if i get in, it would be the best birthday present! haha that's if.. if i can't get in, i would be really sad on my birthday too. sighh. in any way, i would be on the extremes. ayeeeeee...

that's all i wanna blog about i guess. shall stop here for now to prevent more complains... yup

ta!

dots

2006-05-22T02:40:00.000+08:00

good friday

2006-04-14T16:08:00.000+08:00

Good Friday is definitely a good Friday for all of us, cuz its a public holiday so there isn't a need to wake up early for school. hahaha. there should be more good fridays. maybe good mondays, tuesdays, wednesdays and thursdays as well. wahahaa.

err.. okay that's quite lame.

anyway, i woke up quite late today. but i had a wonderful sleep last night. no nightmares of hitler, no dreams at all. just pure resting of my brains. wheeeeeeeee. oh haha. i didn't even know my sister left house for her bridge competition. i must have slept like a pig! wahaha. my parents went back to malaysia, leaving my younger sister and i at home. but at least there was lesser distractions while i was doing my homework. yup.

i think i shall just mug today. and then enjoy tmr. yup can't wait for tmr to come. hollaback competition!! i hope standout wins. yay! there're gonna win!! haha yups. it would be good for standout to win. yup. GO STANDOUT!

okay just here to loosen up abit. i shall go off and more mugging.
ta.

tests and more tests.

2006-04-12T19:08:00.000+08:00

monday: hist, chem (one after the other)
tuesday: tingxie
wednesday: physics
thursday: h.chinese, napfa

6 tests a week.
i'm jaded.

even the tying of my hair makes my head ache.
haha i don't see how this is linked to me being worn out but yes, that's a fact. have been feeling this faint headache in me everyday in school. high tension on my scalp which somehow or another makes my head ache. have to keep yawning to supply oxygen to my brains so as to relieve the headache. feeling really horrible with my hair tied up. i think i need some sleep on good friday. and then start mugging for lit and other tests. i do not wish to do badly for lit again.

anyway, to my greatest horror, i can't find my first a math test. can't remember how much i got too. shall go find it later. i want to get my a1 so hopefully i can find it. okay. this is just so random.

comments on physics test today:
solenoid and the current. sigh. went through it right before the test but i still got it wrong. ayeee. wonder what's wrong with me. not thinking straight due to nervousness.
magnetic field flows from the north to south and thus the magnet moves anticlockwise. no attraction involved. how silly of me to think of attraction.
demagnetising of the iron rod (or what was it?). the flame warms the rod, and does not have fast moving molecules!! i seriously think my brain is malfunctioning. hahaha.
unit for charge is coulomb, C, not electrons. haha. didn't get what the question is asking for. i feel so retarded and angry.
many many other mistakes, plus reasoning too. waaa. this isn't very positive. sighh. shall strive harder for the next test. yupyup.

oh and i realise after every physics test, mr jeow would walk pass and ask the se litters how the physics test was. wahaha. today he asked about the perspex thing but i thought it was quite okay. i just hope i don't do too badly. oh and he was smiling happily? (i don't know how to describe it) as usual as if he was there to trick us or something. oh evilly is the word. yes.

OH MY GOODNESS!! i realise my job isn't done. keep forgetting to ask mr jeow for the tailor's number and oh mann. that. sighh i am totally clueless of what there is, creative yet meaningful and that everyone will like, to get. and my tag! haha. shall ask him when i see him. yup.

anyway, im pretty touched and encouraged today. haha. i was finishing my emath ws due yesterday in class today after school and on my way back from handing in the ws, i met miss a tan and she asked
'why aren't you practising?'
-'huh?'
'what are you doing so late then?'
-'oh im doing my homework'
'so are you finishing?'
-'yes'
'well done!'
and i smiled and walked off. foolishly forgot to say thank you cuz i was too happy. like one of the very few times someone actually praised me. haha so inspired to work hard and so i stayed on in class to copy out notes for char. i think i'm really gonna miss sc after i leave. i mean i fail to realise that we have such wonderful teachers in sc all these while but now i know and i'm gonna treasure them more.

anyway, i'm getting used to working a little harder already. i'm determined to do well. but yet i feel as if i'm reserving for something. i have so much potential to do so much better. i wonder what i'm afraid of and why i'm not developing my full potential. haha. but i guess its rather acceptable cuz if evveryone shows their full potential so easily, then everyone will be so powerful and this whole world will be so scary.. haha.

okay enough of discharging of the excessive stress i have and i'm feeling neutral now. yup. haha off i go to bathe and then study. yeah!!

OH! i almost forgot!! haha
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE!!

dream...

2006-04-09T00:35:00.000+08:00

heyys.

haha just had a talk with her and i feel so good. its been a long time since i last talked to her and yeah. its still nice. haha. i feel terribly sorry to keep her waiting for so long so many times. yes i really hope we still keep in touch even after i'm gone. yup.

anyway, i had a really weird dream this morning. i dreamt that it was another world war and hitler was back again. singapore was under japanese ocupation once again but the funny thing is that hitler and his troops were patrolling the streets of singapore. wahaha. there were jap flags though. haha. very confusing. but anyway, i was wearing this dirtygreen coloured shirt with um grey pants standing in front of a shop selling clothes. then suddenly my dad came t otell me that my mom was taken away by the japanese. i was very worried and kept panicking thought there was nothing i could do. then suddenly someone shouted" they are coming!" i looked around the shop and found a few people wearing brightly coloured clothes. i took out sets of dull coloured clothes for the to change from no where. i mean the clothes just appeared in my hands. no idea why we have to change to dull coloured clothes too. haha. the this big truck patrolled past the shop. then it was the next day. minmin was in the shop too. she was wearing an orange shirt with black shorts. the tank came patrolling again too and i lent minmin a black shirt. right before the tank came, i realise that the trolley thingy where all the clothes are folded and placed in in shopping malls had bright coloured clothes at the side so i was using my body to block it. when the tank rode past, i manovered the trolley so that the clothes can't be seen. then the next second, my mom was released. i went to the squash court beside the shop to get food for my mom and while walking there, i was tearing. feeling really happy that my mom is released.

ahahaha weird right?
so random! the things and people present. ahaha.
its late. i shall go sleep.
wake up tmr to study hist and chem and physics and ting xie. yup.
ta.

april fool!!

2006-04-02T11:34:00.000+08:00

1st april

went to padang to watch hollaback crew competition.
YAY! we got into the finals!
wheeeeeeee.

so cool! yippes! watched the top 12 and found some very good ones and some ahem ones which i don't know how they got into semis. haha. not trying to be mean but yeah if you watch it you'll understand. haha.

but its really ironic, that i arrived just in time, to see sc from afar. counted as i missed it. haha we are the first one to perform and since i was late, i could only view sc from afar. hehx. qutie sad but i see every other team. particularly enjoyed the last team. yup.

as usual, sc cheered the loudest and the most that the mcees and other people are quite annoyed with us i think. haha. yup. but then this is sc spirit! wheee. oh did the school cheer too. felt the sc spirit ocne again. so warm and nice. seeing all the familiar faces shouting the same words as you do, doing the same actions at the same time, feeling as high as you do. haha. oh manns. i just love sc. -beams-

oh and i would like to congratulate yan for passing her grade 8 piano! wheeeeeee. though she kept saying she screwwed it up but she still made it. haha. yay! three cheers for yan!

okayy i shall go off now. ta.

tirednessss...

2006-03-28T19:00:00.000+08:00

haha ran 10 rounds today. and i almost died. too long since i last ran, but then i persevered my sprint for the last round, which made me pass. haha quite an achievement. wanted to slow down due to the tiredness but then decided not to cuz there wasn't enough time for me to run slowly so for the first time in my entire life, i sprinted the whole round! haha. whooo hooo! but after that i felt really dizzy and breathless. but i did it still. woots.

anyway, sorry yan that i abandoned you.. lets count down for napfa okayy since we din manage to do it now. i'm really sorry. i feel super bad cuz like i keep breaking my promises. i should have waited for you, or let's just say we should have just ran and let others help them. i'm so sorry. i must learn to express myself better in words. ayeee. more vocabs.

have been feeling rather weird these days. i guess its just cuz of it la. what else. like sudden change in emotions but anyway, i realise that i'm easily influenced my others around me. i should have be more strong and not let others influence me. yup. but anyway, i found the right piece which suits my feelings right now. its just so soothing and calming. haha. across the stars, from star wars. thanks yan for sending me that. haha yup.

i hate falling sick.
dead tired now.
can't think straight.

right now, i hate the song high. hurhurrrrrr.. can it stop playing it and stick to across the stars? stupid player keep changing my song. oh have i mentioned, i want to get my whole section to have perfect pitch before i leave sc band. that's like um my aim? haha. yeah! we'll work hard together and help me achieve it okayy? ahaaha. yup. okay somehow, this perked me up a little but still im sleepy. sorry it rather random but i'm just writing whatever that pops into my mind.

dumb and stupid!
loud and clear!
4SE!
WHOOSH!

ta.

class cheerrr..

2006-03-26T21:51:00.000+08:00

yes! 4SE's killa!!

hah we totally rawked today. though there were lots and lots of waiting but it was all fruitful as everything is going on as planned. haha yay! though some parts need to be polished up but i think we can achieve that by tmr cuz we still have time! haha
but anyway, sorry for almost getting all of the scholars into trouble but the space was much appreciated. haha.at least i see the class coming together as one again. yup. three cheers!! but i think we should start on the dramafest soon and not be last min again cuz last min don't always help. yup. haha.

this should be what should be written on the class calendar but ever since last year, i htink i have stopped posting on the class calendar so its a little weird to just suddenly come out with this thing so yeah i'm typing all in here. haha. yippes. se's spirit is coming back again!!

through all the frustrations,
through all the irritations,
we've all come together,
to overcome the obstructions.
we'll all sing together,
to be victorious!

yay!!

CHEER'06

SERVICE makes me lose control!
SE's known all around the world,
so watch your backs lil' boy and girls.
we're gonna take the extra mile,
out of this world, straight from x files.
bringing us down is gonna be tough
but we'll work it out cuz we'v egot the stuff.
hey, we're gonna leave but rest assured,
this ain't the last time we're gonna be heard.
SY's fine, but but but SE's killa!
GR's fine, but but but SE's killa!
DG's fine, but but but SE's killa!
They're all fine, but but but SE's killa!
we've got more bounce in 4 service
than all yall combined.
we've got more bounce in 4 service
we study all the time.
we've got more bounce in 4 service
than all yall combined.
we've got the rhythm and the boogie
SE's gonna blow your mind!!
this class is 4 service, S-E-R-V-I-C-E!

wake up early and bring hairbands!
hah off i go now, ta.

drills...

2006-03-25T17:58:00.000+08:00

i have discovered my likings for drills quite recently. haha enjoy shouting and venting all my anger during drills. hahahaa. cool eh? perhaps its because of the stressful life in sec 4 that shouting has become a stress relieve for me. hehx. but actually, i kind of like sec 4 life.

anyway, quite proud of myself this whole week. though it was like the first week after march holidays, i managed to keep myself focused and did a lot of work. though i have been sleeping really late but waking up early for school, i still could stay awake during lessons, except for those which are really boring or towards the end of the day. hahaha. yup. i hope this energy will stay with me until the end of o's. i wanna do well! (err.. like who don't)

i have also realised that i have showed too much of my emotions this whole week, sweared too much and made up lots of excuses. sighh. i must learn to control. yup. but thankfully, those around me didn't complain much. yup i would like to thank all of you for bearing with my weird behaviour. (:

lighter mood...

good news: class cheer is going on quite well. haha yay! and though yesterday, i reached home around 10.30, it was all worthwhile. special thanks to ama who came specially for the cheer though she was really tired. yay! and also those who took the trouble to meet in nicole's house. yeps. we're gonna make it, for 4SE! wheeeee.
actually, we are rather pro in last min work. though it isn't really advisable but still, its all coming into picture! yupyup. cool! another meeting tmr at 3, meet in front of acs b there. please come! oh yes remember to bring each a hairband on monday. if you have extra, just bring in case some din bring. yup.

after this will be sports day then kedah trip then prelims then o's then holidays! like miss leong said, aim for the end, make sure you have a good progression. yup. aim for the holidays but don't slack. prepare well and everything will follow up nicely.
yes prepare well and do whatever i say okayy. there isn't a lot of time left to keep doing the same things. what i say have been given special thought, all for your good. i can't just not do anything just because i don't have time so stop complaining. you will see the effect of your hardwork and the great sense of satisfaction. please don't let me keep pushing you. its not as if i have nothing to do and not enough stress okayy. just do a bit everyday and it will amount up to alot. remember to do the correct way. if you can't get it, ask me. i'll help you. if i see that there isn't any improvement, i shall stop since its all of no use. this is a plead to the small group of people who are of concerned. if you don't understand it, then it doesn't concern you..wahaha.

but writing about it now, i still can't believe i'm sec 4 and taking o's like THIS year. hah. the stress just builds up in me and my heartrate accelerates. this cold feeling will spread in me, making me feel tense up. hopefully, i can start my revision soon and be really prepared for o's.

off to my homework and the numerous a math ws which i owe mrs lim. haha. i shall complete them by today since tmr's cheer.. yay cheer! haha
taaaaaa.

well rested week...

2006-03-18T15:54:00.000+08:00

and yes, how i wished it wouldn't end.
how i hoped it lasted till the end.
its still over.
but i'm well rested.
and i should be happy(:

march holidays are ending in one day. sadness. school's starting again and the hectic life shall begin. but i must say, this holidays, i have rested myself fully and i should be recharged when school starts again. this one week holidays is really short and all i remember doing was resting. haha. and i have realised i have done a lot of reflection too, on my studies, on my priorities, on the band, on my section, on myself.

i haven't been doing the desired amount of revision which i had expected myself to do due to the large amount of time used in reflecting. haha. kept drfting away from revision and kept entering the world of reflection. but well. the reflection was done good. haha. improved in many ways but i shouldn't be complacent because i think i can do much better than this. yes. i can. (:

i have sort of drawn out a plan for revision and i realise how much more i have to do and thus i have started the training for the 2 weeks of gruesome race bit by bit and i hope to get into full swing as soon as possible. i have also realised that a tiny bit every week amounts up to alot at the end of the training. haha. yup. i think im' rather slow in doing these stuff as i think most people have started on this like since last year. yup. haha. so i guess these are for studies.

priorities. i'm glad i've made the choice of not taking the abrsm horn exams. haha. feel so much better now that there's one less thing to be stressed about and one less thing to distract me from my o's. a wonderful decision that i think i will never ever regret. (: so right now, studies first. that's all i'm gonna list. haha. so i won't stray away from it as the rest of my priorities are luxurious stuff that i want to do. haha.

i've realised that the band is getting deader and deader but i'm begining to enjoy drills. haha. i was talking to diana about it that day and right now, she wished she's here to help us. haha yes. i seriously think that the band spirit has flown away but i don't know how to find it back. i think the majors feel it. i think. haha. so hopefully they will do something about it soon and help revive the band. yup.

SC French Horns rawks forever. haha. i have just realised that cher has puffy cheeks which makes her look as if she is puffing her cheeks when she plays! haha how cute. anyway, i have realised the section has really fun people and bonding them together will make the horn section the best section ever. haha. yes. section outing sometime. i shall see when. hehx.

i've improved and managed to make use of my throat to play high notes and thus does not sound forced. but right now, i'm trying to buzz with my lips and train my tongue power. aiming to get the section to run with me to improve their air support. yupyup. and i have found the right way to do it. force myself to concentrate on my work. haha. that's the best way and have the self discipline until o's. yep.

enough of blogging and off to projects, projects and more projects.
ta.

randomness

2006-03-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

Your Life Path Number is 1

Your purpose in life is to lead others.
You have great drive and determination. Nothing is going to stand in your way.You seek out challenges and the spotlight. You'll take all the work - and all the glory.Status and success are important to you. You demand the best from everyone and everything.
In love, you tend to take a protective role. You enjoy being the provider in relationships.
You expect others to be like you, and as a result, you are often disappointed.A little selfish and vain, you always put yourself first.Remember, everyone already knows you're great - you don't need to remind them!

What Is Your Life Path Number?

err is this true? what do you think?

enrichment week..

2006-03-05T19:56:00.000+08:00

heyhey..

last week was the best week! only 2 days of school, 3 days of enrichment. haha cool and fun! had games everyday for enrichment! wheee. haha.

played world trade games on wednesday, the first day.
got grouped into europe. did rather okayish but then there were so many rounds that i felt so sian playing it nearer the end of the game. plus the woman talked so slowly, lulling me to sleep. can't stand it. she speak so slowly, 'gently', 'kindly', as if she's very 'weak'! haha. cannot stand her la! gives me goosebumps when she spoke.. even now as i think of it. sighh.

was first together with myshell tay but then she got separated from me by the G.O.D woman. sighh. but she became the most active trader! haha. which is good la! at least better than me... i got nothing. whahaa..

had financial literacy for thursday and friday.
haha. fl is so funny and fun with myshell tay. haha. i was the car mechanic. the poorest of all. then due to the economic crash, i planned to get bankrupt. but then i still had 33k with me after i supposedly died at 34. haha din achieve my aim but still doesn't matter. at least i think i'm the lowest in my group. haha. then for friday, i became the doctor! haha the richest of all. then cuz i still had the image that i'm the poorest so i din buy a lot of shares cuz i thought i din have the money. how foolish eh? but anyway, i made 1 million. but then. the highest was 79 plus million la! like 79 times more than me. wahaha.

i realised that i'm quite accurate when it comes to predicting. haha. i was like oh the market sentiments is gonna be down next year so don't buy anything now. haha sell all your stocks. then the market sentiments was really down la! haha then i was like economic crash! and it crashed. haha.

then myshell tay and me, we kept playing games. from scissors, paper stone to hei bai cei to cai quan. haha. i kept winning her!! wahaha. and i'm rather accurate. i guessed 5 fingers and bingo! i got it right. then the other time was 9 and i can't remember the other one.haha. yippes. oh then we kept predicting the going up or down of stocks and um the market sentiment. haha. quite fun. oh then we kept going like "aiyahh! should have sold you know.. should have kept see now it rise until so high liao!!" and " waaaa heng ah!! -pats chest- luckily we sold mann!! " haha. then the instructors kept laughing at us! haha how evill!! but anyway, it was lots of fun.. hee

oh then cip on thursday.
tiring, tiring tiring but fun fun fun.. haha
did 2 and a half blocks. had lots of newspapers and even a packet of chrysanthemum tea from a generous auntie! she was like "yao bu yao jing lai zuo yi xia?" haha then we were like oh no need. so kind!! then this family was so funny. the auntie told us that they purposely din sell the newspapers and kept them for us! how nice and there were like 7 to 8 stacks i think. wahaha. then myshell and melissa went to the 6th and 7th floor while i went to the 4th floor. an indian guy opened the door and donated some newspapers.
then after he went in to get some newspapers and gave them to me, he was like "are you alone?"
i freaked out and immediately said " um no! my friends are upstairs. they are coming down soon."

guess what he said.

"oh i have quite a lot of newspapers with me so you can handle right?"

phew!! hhaa. i thought what will happen. now i nkow why they asked us to go in pairs. then i immediately called for myshell and melissa. haha. thank goodness he din do anything to me! haha.

yes. and i wanna thank myshell, melissa for the wonderful time together doing cip. and i wanna think zinc, non non, waiee ying and myshell for time wonderful time during fl. last but not least cara, joanna and myshell/yuankheng for the wonderful time during world trade games.
oh and rachel and myshell too. for deciding what to wear together! haha. yay!

okay. got to study a math now... differentiation, permutation and combination. i hope it isn't gonna be too bad. =)

hilarious.. heats

2006-02-23T17:29:00.000+08:00

heyheyy!

haha. i feel quite funny now.

cuz i actually represented my class for heats! haha i mean i never used to ever since p3. yup. so yeah. haha. i was being quite ambitious by haha aiming for top 8. ayee..i mean who doesn't wanna win right? yupyup but then when i saw my competitors, i was like um.. forget it la. i wanna study chem. haha. but at least i managed 2.4 okaayy. not as bad. haha shong wasn't too bad too. 2.39. haha. just like 0.01 more lorrx. but then compared to the top which was like um 3.9 i think... mine's like nothing near good. classmate managed 3.17! yay good for her. haha.

anyway, come to think of it, this is the first and last time i'm representing the class. hehx. like errrr right? but its quite fun to compete in the activity which you know you'll never win cuz there's like no stress! yippes!

aye.. i'm realy tired. haven't been sleeping alot for the past week. the longest was when ah? 2 days ago? for 7 hours? haha. yup. have been having coffee for 2 days. its not healthy. i shall not drink so much in case i get hooked on to it. yup. chem tmr. sigh. so much to learn. so many links. i'll die. but i want to do well so yup i'll study hard!! yupyups

ss was quite okay today. haha at least i didn't panic and any how scribble. didn't want to be complained for my handwriting again. but i htink i'm quite lucky today. cuz i did an essay question somewhat similar to it so yeah. not as bad but i htink i din name enough policies i think. sighh but i link so yeah. i hope i do well. then for the regurgitating part. sigh i can't remember anything. and gues what. paternal leave was introduced only recently and it doesn't even exist in like the mid 1980s. realise the mid 1980s only like 3/4 down the essay and so i kind of panicked cuz i din have anymore stuff to write. yup for chinese. the zao ju was kind of okay. just that i didnn't remember what laoshi said exactly and so i changed the words, modified it and i think it sounded okayish. the li jies were aye. i shan't comment. just randomly picked out points and yeah wrote it down cuz laoshi said we had to gui na the answers from all over the passage. yup. haha.

ayee okok chem i'm coming!

drink lots of water.

oh yah did i mention the star symposium i went yesterday?

haha say shining and reggie and it feels so nice to see them again! ahah. miss them loads.
yup went around viewing the science exhibitions and yup quite okayish la. this guy talked about the viration of the whatever mp3 thingy which i wasn't interested and don't understand. haha was rather sianz cuz he wasn't very sure. the guy beside him was like clearer? at least i knew what he was talking about. yup haha. i like my squashy ball which can bounce! haha wheeee

okok i really have to go. ta.

forget it

2006-02-17T23:48:00.000+08:00

i typed a really long post just now and it mysteriously disappeared.

maybe its a sign that i should forget all about it.
yup.

if it comes back, you can read.
if it doesn't, then that's too bad.

i'm letting it go
but sadness is not letting me go.

happy valentine's day!

2006-02-14T19:04:00.001+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE!!

today's the last valentine's day i'm spending in sc. quite sad huh.. i think i will miss sc really badly next year. i mean i'm so used to the environment, the friends and teachers... i have nothing to ask for more now. i have all i want. my subjects, my teachers, my friends, my instrument, my cca, my school. yeah. haha. but who knows i might find the next school i'm going to better. which i really hope so la! haha.

anyway, today's a rather sad day. i dunno why but it just happened to turn out today. so depressing. maybe its cuz of the fact that i wasn't very well prepared for physics test today. sighh. but i think i know how to do most of the stuff so it wasn't as bad. haha yup. and he's so weird today.. haha. talked to me la! haha so o.O normally he doesn't.. i mean he always don't. but today's funny. maybe uz he set the paper so yeah i guess he was just trying to get some feedback. yup. haha. so i understand.

shall study hard cuz she's like on par with me. urghh! i have to shine and outshine her again. i can't afford to lose out to her! cuz it'll be really irritating when they gloat at you when they do better than you. and when they go "oh that's very good!" when they actually get better than you. i mean why so humble when it doesn't appear humble at alll? sometimes i really hate her... be rest assured for those reading my blog cuz i don't think you are not the person i'm talking about. yup.

i feel the momentum of working hard now. plus all the self motivation which i have right now. i think it can last me long enough until o's. yup. i feel inspired. and nothing's gonna stop me. and watch me. i'll do it.

now to my homework. yup.
ta.

happy valentine's day!

2006-02-14T19:04:00.000+08:00

testsss...

2006-02-12T14:36:00.001+08:00

ayeeee.

a math took up so much of my time. combination and permutation. how am i supposed to know if i missed out anything when its so tedious just for that one mark?! haha. i shall seek help from expertise.. hehe.

anyway, woke up later than i wanted to. quite sad huh. then cuz my sister wasn't going to use the comp so i decided to pop by and do my a math as well as search for english articles.

while talking to yan, i realised that i have only 4 more months to prelims. rather scary fact. haha. yeah. and bish the trip. make us miss remedials and waste my time. sighh. i realised the importance of consistant work. (: shall work consistently from now onwards. haha. yupyup.

made a new list of aims and goals. i hope i can achieve all of them. well, i'll see during june. yup. hehx.

okay i still have lots of work awaiting me. plus there's bio and phy test.
ta..

testsss...

2006-02-12T14:36:00.000+08:00

changed blogskin

2006-02-11T13:42:00.001+08:00

heyy haha

woke up later than i wanted but its all right.

i love madarin oranges. they rawk.

haha anyway yup. changed my blogskin and i feel so new.. o.O haha but yeah.. talked to lynn for a really long time. haha felt good about it cuz i haven't been talking to her for a really long time since the both of us are really busy with our stuff.

anyway, it was a pity i din get to go for em's concert yesterday though i would really like to. choir and band combine la! sighh. shouldn't have fallen sick. yes em. hold another concert! haha.

missed 2 louheis yesterday. missed the fun games in band. but its okay. i din miss band prac. not that bad. and hello fellow hornies, time for sectionals.. haha. i don't wanna be a slack and bad sl okayy. yup.

spent long enough time on the comp alr. shall do my homework. yan's bringing me somemore of my work. sighh. i don't want!!!! its for the test though. haha. so i better do them.

yupyup
that's all.
taa.

oh and i'm feeling much better now. (:

changed blogskin

2006-02-11T13:42:00.000+08:00

heyy haha

woke up later than i wanted but its all right.

i love madarin oranges. they rawks.

haha anyway yup. changed my blogskin and i feel so new.. o.O haha but yeah.. talked to lynn for a really long time. haha felt good about it cuz i haven't been talking to her for a really long time since the both of us are really busy with our stuff.

anyway, it was a pity i din get to go for em's concert yesterday though i would really like to. choir and band combine la! sighh. shouldn't have fallen sick. yes em. hold another concert! haha.

missed 2 louheis yesterday. missed the fun games in band. but its okay. i din miss band prac. not that bad. and hello fellow hornies, time for sectionals.. haha. i don't wanna be a slack and bad sl okayy. yup.

spent long enough time on the comp alr. shall do my homework. yan's bringing me somemore of my work. sighh. i don't want!!!! its for the test though. haha. so i better do them.

yupyup
that's all.
taa.

oh and i'm feeling much better now. (:

chinese o's

2006-02-10T14:54:00.000+08:00

I'M CRYING FOR ALL YOU KNOW.

that's what i'll say.

doctors

2006-02-10T12:22:00.000+08:00

just came back from the doctors.

waited there for half an hour. and during that time, it just suddenly hit me, how long since i went there cuz i was sick. exactly 1 year. the last time i went was before obs, when we had to fill in this medical form. yup. i was running high fever of 38.2 degrees. yup. this time i went, cuz i had headache, runny nose and cramps. of course i din tell him i had cramps. haha.

when i was there, waiting, i suddenly felt the place being so familiar yet strange. i remember i kept going there when i was in primary school. haha. all the bad memories huh. haha. yup. my stitch, sickness, injuries etcetc. the times when i was trying to peep at what the receptionist was writing, what was on the table, what sweets they have, what weird stationaries they had, what colour her shirt/skirt/shoes were, whether they change the receptionist's chair... haha. then i saw this girl, who looked exactly like my younger sister. she was having a really bad cough and her parents brought her to the clinic. yup. then her dad went to the confectionary shop next to the clinic and bought her strawberry bread, what my sister wanted that time. haha. that was really scary. haha.

then it was my turn. went in there and said hi. then i described my sickness to him...

me: oh i have been having runny nose for a few days and i have a headache, so my mom gave me panadol this morning and so i didn't go to school.
doc: so are you feeling better now after the panadol?
me: yup.
doc: feeling feverish?
me: no.
doc: any cough or soar throat?
me: no.
doc: feeling giddy or nausea?
me: no.
doc: okayy. open your mouth and say ahhh
me: ahhhhhh.
doc: okayy. now put this under yourtongue. -gives thermometer- turn sideways -listen to my heart beat- umm so how's it?
me: oh um. 75.5
doc: haha. so you have anything tmr? need mc?
me: no.
doc: so its just today?
me: yes.
doc: so i give you and mc for today and that's it. byebye
me: oh thanks you! bye!

haha. throughout the whole time, i only have him single word answer execpt for the first line. haha. yup. it was really quiet which was rather awkard cuz normally, my mom would accompany me there and will talk to the doctor about lots of stuff. haha.

then i bought the medicine and went to buy lunch. as i was about to go home, it just started drizzling. and thank goodness, i saw this really nice lady who offered to tongpang me with her umbrella. :) soi was thanking her profusely and yup we talked and she was so easygoing. yupyup.so nice!

feel so much better now, after i let go. compared to 2 hours ago. cuzi know i'm not up to standard. and mr yap can't make me change my mind anymore cuz im' not attending band prac today. oh and em, sorry i won't be able to make it today cuz my mom dont allow me to go and sorry lynn, cuz i can't go out with you anymore. sighh.

just 2 hours more.
cross fingers!

sadness

2006-02-10T10:01:00.000+08:00

ayeee..

din manage to go to school today though i studied for e math. sadness. but its okay. the point of studying is not cuz of tests but for my own good for my own future. so that i will be more disciplined and not do last minute work, be more consistent and perform well in o's so that i will have a really bright future ahead of me. yupyup.

the release of o's. i'm really scared. sad too. its such a big thing for me and i'm not collecting my own results on the day itself. it meant so much to me. maybe its a sign that i shouldn't do it. but i really feel very sad for missing it. i really can't believe it. i actually cried after i made my decision. i mean i wanted to do it so badly, mr yap has been encouraging, everyone has been giving me the answer which is to take it. but then i just decided that i shouldn't take it. partly cuz it falls either right before or right after prelims, what mayi told me yesterday, lynn's letter, yan's msg. i mean i felt so not serious for o's. felt so immature and childish for wanting to do it. i hate myself. i really do now. after causing so much irritation to everyone, taking up all their time. really sorry.

arghhhhh. i'm really very emotional unstable now. actually, i shouldn't think so much. but then, the fact that i'm not taking it, sinks in me deep. i haven't been true to everyone with my reasons of taking it cuz i really din wanna tell everyone. but i think i told yan and mayi about it the other. i think i blurted it out that day. but i shall not say it anymore. its so wrong to say it.

i feel that i have failed being a person. can't even make a simple decision fast and quick. can't weigh my pros and cons fast enough, like qiang. haha. whatever la you. i'm so easily troubled, so emotional. sighh. i suck. i break my promises. i waste people's time and money. i slack. i'm 1 million times lazier than i was in primary school, though the exams i'm sitting now is like 1 gazillion times more important than the exams then. its not a balanced ratio.

i can't seem to pick myself up fast enough to follow the gradient of the curve of life. i'm going exactly opposite now. i've got no force (motivation), thus there isn't any acceleration (improvement).

i've got to learn. fast and hard.
i hope i'm able to do it.
so ta.
i'm gonna do my work
so i'll get inspired.

4 more hours.
till i get really high up in the sky
or sink all the way down to the core of the earth.

shan't think abut it anymore and concentrate on my work. yep.

tata.

friday shall be it

2006-02-08T19:17:00.000+08:00

Friday shall be it.

everything shall be decided on friday, i've decided.
the amount of time and effort i spend on all my activities.
the things that are of a higher priorties shall be concentrated on.
aims and goals shall be set again
so that they will be realistic...

ayeee. i think i will spend even lesser amount of time on the computer should it be bad. and i think i will be very sad if i don't get it. i'm giving myself a lot of pressure. i'm disciplining myself these few days. actually starting from yesterday only. yup. so that hopefully, god has mercy on me. and allow my aims and goals and dreams and hopes to all come true. like the thing says, the end results depends on the amount of effort and concentration put in.

don't be surprise if i become really serious and unsmiley after friday for a long period of time. i need a lot of time to think through and sort out my thoughts and priorties. but right now, i'm at a loss of what to think. there's just so much to think about. i want my weekend. no one is to take my weekend away from me. yupyupp. i shall study really hard and show my supposedly favourite chertea that i can do it and that i'm not a rude, naughty irresponsible and a very detestable girl. at least that's what i think he thinks of me. but i don't like him so that's too bad. haha.

LAOSHIIIIIIIII! help me. i'm dying. dying of anxiety. drowning in my flooded thoughts. suffocating under my own stress. flattened by things i need to do. squashed by my priorties which are almost everything.

deaded.

but on a lighter mood, i think i improved well today. was playing concert Bb major, 2 octaves and i don't sound forced! hee. how wonderful. the key is to be relaxed. the lock is to play clearly now. note by note. other locks: to concentrate the sound at one point, to play in perfect pitch, to be able to tongue better, to be able to have a better air support etcetc. yup so i think with constant practise, i should be able to do it. so if i take it, i shall spend my recesses in the band room, playing my horn everyday. so everyday, i will be able to practise at least half an hour. enough right? i hope. haha. yay!

i should tell my mom about it, soon. real soon. but i dont' know how to say it again. i have mastered alot of courage telling her that time. and with the answer she gave me, i feel a lot of stress and priorties are involved in just that one decision. what if i can't make it in the end and upset myself? but i am determined. cuz its music. however, i shall decide o nthe thing that will happen on friday. i shall think of a way to bring the thing up again tmr. or maybe i shall just tell her, that i have decided to take the exams. so if i withdraw, it'll be wasting money. i want someone to strongly encourage me on either side. i dont' mind. i know i'm being really indecisive, but this will be my last time, dragging for so long. i shall learn to be more decisive and do whatever i feel i should do. yupyup

off i go now.
ta.

hw here i come.

chinese new yearrr...

2006-02-07T15:45:00.000+08:00

heyheyy

it has been many days since chinese new year but i just couldn't find time to blog about it. quite sad huh?! like the whole chinese new year mood has past and i'm only reminiscing it now. but nevertheless, i still had a wonderful time with my relatives.

27th Jan
Chinese New Year celebrations.

it wasn't half day. we had normal lessons still. but thankfully, our lesson ends at 12.50 so it wasn't that bad. haha. wasn't in the mood of lesosns at all cuz i was too busy thinking about chinese new year. opps. haha.
after the lessons, we had the celebration. band was the first item. we were split up into ensems and played separately. yup. my playing was rather okayish except for the fact that the score kind of flew away in the midst of the performance. yup. managed to reach the high notes but ran out of air so didn't manage to hold the notes long enough. but at least, i didn't mispitch like i always do. yup.
after the celebrations, went out with yan,waiee,grace. decided to go ps to watch memoirs but then by the time we got there, the tickets were all sold out. then we wanted to watch i not stupid too but it was kinda late. yup. so walked around ps and went to YAMAHA!! haha i love the place. nice horn, nice mouthpieces which make me salivate and drop my jaw in awe once i see them. i want a golden holton 181 horn with a golden mouthpiece. this will cost me around five thousand plus plus. if only i have a new horn at home.. haha. okayy. i really thinki should stop dreaming. haha. then went home and pack my stuff to make sure that my hourse is neat. but i think by the time i reached home, i felt exhausted so i slept. yup. didn't go to chinatown in the end. sigh. kind of regretted the decision of not going there. yup. but then i got my sleep so no complains. yippes.

28th jan
Chinese New Year eve.

woke up and decorated the house. yay!! its so chinese new year-ish. ahha. i love my house. its the best place on earth, where i receive tons and tons of unconditional love everyday!! wheee. haa. packed and got ready to leave for malaysia. on the way to the customs, my sis and i were very frantically sending msges wishing everyone a happy new year! haha. so funny. yups. then after we crossed the boundaries of spore, we stopped but continued receiving msges. haha yup. went around visiting my relatives on my dad's side. hee. received one more hong bao cuz my cousin just got married this year! hehe..
then went for reunion dinner in a restaurant. the food there got lousier year by year but more expensive! how unfair right?! ayee.. shall not go there anymore.

so after reunion dinner, went to my maternal grandmother's house. every year, my family will be the first ones to bai nian with my grandparents! hee. yup. but quite sadly, this year, we're not allowed to play with fire crackers.. aye. but its okayy haha. so chinese new year's eve is just like that. yup.

29th jan
Chinese New Year Day 1

decided to go kl in the morning and spend the afternoon visiting my dad's friends. but in the end only go up in the afternoon cuz my dad's friends came over to my grandparents house to visit my dad. yup. then it so happens that my dad's friends were not free either so just went to the temple. yup. then returned to my grandparents house for dinnerwith all my aunts and uncles and cousins! yeah. then after that, we went to my mom's cousins' house where my mom and aunts meet their cousins. we do that every year and everytime we go there, the situation is always the same. no difference at all. no change of any furniture or anything at all. haha. not spontaneous at all. haha. yup. then stayed there and chatted till around 12 plus 1. went back and slept. not used to sleeping there cuz ther eare lots of mosquitoes which are rather irritating.

30th jan
Chinese New Year day 2

woke up rather late in the morning. ate something light and then waited till all my aunts and uncles arrived before we ate our reunion lunch.lou-ed hei for the second time. yupyup.and the lou hei was so nice to eat! haha then we bid my aunt and her husband goodbye as they leave for kl. yup. then went to wash the dishes and went to cousins' house to play. not long after, people started streaming into my grandparents' house to bai nian with my grand parents. they sat for quite a while and i returned to my grandparents' house to bathe and then continue chatting with my cousins. then after that, we decided to go to city park toplay some games. yup. but however, when we went there, it was too late and people were being chased out of the park cuz there were supposedly vandalism and destroying of property. so we ended up spending the night in my cousins' house. watched television till 2 plus 3 am beforei went to sleep.

31st jan
Chinese New Year day 3

woke up and went visiting with my cousins to my uncle's friends' houses. and oh boy! their houses are super big and grand and nice!! received more hong bao from them.. yup. then returned to my grandparents' house. ate lunch and then went visiting with my parents to my mom's friends' houses. haha. got more ang baos and then ate more stuff. returned to my grandparents' house and my mom's cousins came toe my grandparents' house this time round, to bai nian with my grandparents. served drinks for them and then stoned. watched teevee. and then finally, they left. i was so tired that i took a short nap. then had a really rushed and quick bath because we were running late for a bufffet dinner in one of my shu-gong's house. the house was really big and the food was nice. haha. 2 storeys, with 4 rooms on the second level and 5 rooms on the first level. the masterbedroom also has a jacuzzi in the toilet. how cool can that be?! haha. ate food and chatted with my biao-jiu. haha he's a funny guy. then went with my litttle cousins to watch animated movie dinosaur. it was interesting and enjoyed it. haha. yup. then went out to play with fireworks for a while and then watch another movie. then my cousins came and decided to talk to them cuz the interaction time that we have is rather little. then returned home to sleep and prepare for my departure from malaysia the next day. -sadness-

1 feb
Chinese New Year day 4

packed and returned to spore. did homework and then slept haha.

4 feb
Chinese New Year day 7
woke up at 6 automatically. decided to not sleep anymore and pack all my stuff for my dad's friends are coming over to my house. yupyup. finished packing at around 7.45 and then went back to sleep. haha. cuz i was having a cold and thus i conclude that i should sleep after taking medicine. din want to keep sneezing while i'm out visiting all the different houses. so most of them arrive at my house at 10 and ate breakfast. i didn't even know that i'm going out visiting the different houses until hue told me about it. stayed in my house until about 12 plus i htink. looking at the photos and playing chinese chess. yup. haha. quite intellectual eh? then they went to uncle yc's house. stayed there for a while and then proceed on to hue's house!! haha. i love her piano. its so in tune. touched the piano finally after 1 month? i really miss the sound of the piano. but i reckon i won't be playing it until march hols cuz i dont have time to spare. quite sad that i can't play one of my favourite pieces properly. awwwww. then went to uncle fahjoon's house. got a little lost but then managed to find out way. stayed there for a while before going to uncle gc's house.watched teevee in the house at first. then before ben left for his chingay performance, he brought out some vcds and yeah. that was quite kind of him. haha. at least better then me, making them watch pokemon!! hahaha. i did that on purpose though. haha. then in the mid afternoon, they started 'gambling'. haha. played blackjack with bets. i didn't participate at first cuz i wasn't very interested but then after aunty alice and family left, i had no one to talk to so i joined the table. at first, i was just watching my mom and dad play. the somehow or another, i ended up helping qiang win money. haha. we were playing on some glass table where the reflection can be seen. so i was helping him peep at the next card. haha. and my techniques were quite good cuz i managed to guess most of the cards though there were some mistakes. haha yup. then i started playing and i realise that i'm not a good gambler cuz i keep losing money. urps. haha. then had pizza for dinner and went home after that. yup

so this year, my chinese nw year was rather fun! actually every year's fun! haha. yupyup.

this is a rather long entry and so i shall stop now.

i feel the urge of taking it
but am i up to it?
i really wonder
cuz i'm just a beginner.

i dont wanna fail it.
its ex.
prices are going up.
time is needed too.
for it as well as o's.

i want to look into the future
before making my decision.
i want to see the consequences
before deciding if i should suffer them.
i want to...

in a loss of what to do.
someone, please guide me
tell me what i should do.

should i follow my heart and suffer the consequences later?
or should i follow what is supposedly right and regret later?

this tunnel is long and never ending.
dark, but yet,
booming with the pros and cons.
i want the tunnel to end soon
and see the light
which will guide me
to a suitable path for me.

so?

sneezingggg...

2006-01-26T18:31:00.000+08:00

heyys!!

XIN NIAN LAI LOU!!

haha i'm so happy that chinese new year is here. wheeeeeee. this is like the first time i'm being so crazy about chinese new year. i think i just fell in love with chinese new year... did i mention before? i don't think so right? can't remember anyway.. yup. i hope this year's chinese new year is gonna be fun... haha i hope.

but anyway, today is so test-y.. haha. the whole day's like test after test. aye. first up was higher chinese comprehension TEST. blehhx. was sniffing away. haha. quite terrible. finished a packet of tissue. yup everyone's getting sick cuz of the weather.. then it was ss TEST. i practically spent the whole time sniffing away, trying to blow out all the irritants but it just wont. and thus i don't think i'll do well cuz i only had 10 min for 2 parts which are 14 marks. like half of the marks i just wasted them.. sighhh why?!?! there's so little time la! and plus i don't have a watch. can't find my gothic one. sadness. then we got back a math TEST.. just cuz of 2 careless mistakes, i din get full marks. anger. then we had this fun english word TEST which i did very badly. my vocab ahh.. cannot make it la. ahha. i shall read more widely. yup then it was e math surprise TEST which wasn't a test, claimed mrs tan, but rather a paper to test our understanding. see still a test right? sighh. then it was physics. went to a lab to have pratical test but haha thankfully, it wasn't a pratical otherwise i would have died. yupyup such a long but short day.. sighh

went to band room and played the chinese new year piece. ayeee. my high A.. i want to achieve it. but then i think for now, i should just play lower and make sure it sounds nice... haha. and yes the problem why we din sound so sharp was cuz we din tongue... haha tt's why its so muffled. haha i solved the problem! yay! i hope tmr's a success...

ayee.. doing lit now. and i really hope to do some work tonight! yeah

tt's all.

ta.

XIN NIAN KUAI LE!!

2006-01-25T18:41:00.000+08:00

DA JIA HAOOOO!!

ZHU NI MEN

XIN NIAN KUAI LE!!!

WAN SHI RU YI!

XIN XIANG SHI CHENG!!

XUE YE JING BU!!

SHENG TI JIAN KANG!!

NIAN NIAN YOU YU!!

DA JI DA LI!!

TIAN TIAN KUAI LE!!

YONG YUAN QING CHUN MEI LI!!

hahahahaha i'm so in chinese new year mood now.. don't feel like doing anything..

let me tell you how foolish i wassss yesterday.. i feel so stupid now

me: yay! friday's chinese new year!! thursday i have ss test! and there's nothing tmr!! wheee i'm going to sleep.

and i really fell asleep, totally forgetting about the ting xie i am supposed to have today. sighh but i managed to study with yan and got most of the words right i hope.. haha. yup thanks yan!!

i shall go off now.. tired. ss here i comeee...
i don't want you you go away! i want chinese new year, not test!
haha
ta

chinese new year airr

2006-01-23T20:27:00.000+08:00

guess what?!?!?!?!?!?!

i smelt the scent of the chinese new year air just yesterday! so cool ain't it?! i think its like the first time i ever smelt it and i suddenly got so excited. its like this air caused me to have adrenaline rush, increasing my heartrate in an instant (oh wells, that's what adrenaline caused you to anyway) and i felt so happy. i guess this happy mood spread until today. everything seemed to go right today.. hee

had to wake up in the morning at 4.30 to finish my commonwealth essay. woke up at 4.23 instead. i just suddenly jumped up and walked to the table where my phone is placed on. haha. luckily, i decided not to be lazy and sleep a little more. finished a thousand two hundred word essay in one half hours. not bad ehh.. but since its so last min, don't expect high quality work yeah? so i'm not expecting a high grade. yeah. but the point is, i managed to finish it! yay!! three cheers to me!! whoooo wheeeee

reached school started the day. mich passed me the design in the morning!! yay its like finally done and its very nice actually. wanted to get miss soh to sign it but could not find her the whole day so decided to go only after school to find her. yupyup. still could not find herthus i had to go during band prac which wasn't a really nice thing to do since now, i only play my horn on band prac days. promised not to stay back in school to practise and return home early to study. yupyup so far, i have been able torestrain myself from doing so but i think i'll just go crazy sooner or later. i need to play my horn! haha. yupyups

miss soh told me that she needed a day to get her to sign and approve it so yeah. i had to cancel the band tee thing. but then, the printing guy told me he could still rush it out by thursday!! haha he rawks. i hope he didn't meant it on next thursday but yeah still the fact that he could rush it out for me is a really nice thought. yipppesss!!

so now, everything is like on the path and i am really glad to have made it. inspite of being so stressed about it, its settled so i have really learnt my lesson which is to calm down and face the problems as worrying does not help at all. yup.

anyway, the band prac today was rather fufilling. managed all my high notes quite nicely maybe its because i have been running alot and thus my stamina inproved or something.. yup. quite a good sign eh? think of the pendulum and relax!! yup

anyway, diana's leaving! so sad! she's like the only senior whom i am actually considered quite close to in my section since we spent a lot of time together preparing for syf!! that was really an incredible period of time and i am really happy to have known such a nice friend! haha. yupyup.

ayee i'm tired. all the worrying and then surprises have made me feel very worn out. i shall go bathe now. ta.

testsss...

2006-01-21T17:11:00.000+08:00

How You Life Your Life

You tend to deprive yourself of things you crave, for your own good.You are always tactful and diplomatic. You let people down gently.You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

i think this is rather true.. don't you think so?

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)
You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.
You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.
You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.
In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.
At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.
With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.
As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.
On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

this one is quite true too! haha

Your Inner Blood Type is Type B

You follow your own rules in life, even if you change the rules every day.Sure, you tend to be off the wall and unpredictable, but that's what makes you lovable.And even though you're a wild child, you have the tools to be a great success.You are able to concentrate intently - and make the impossible possible.
You are most compatible with: B and AB
Famous Type B's: Leonardo Di Caprio and

What's" Your Inner Blood Type?

sound quite me..

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

haha..

off i go now... lalal commonwealth here i come!!!

new year, new stuff...

2006-01-19T17:44:00.000+08:00

hey, Hey, HEY!!

welcome back reading my blog, if anyone ever does that. but if you haven't noticed, i stopped blogging totally for a long while cuz i was being really lazy and that my sister is always using the comp, leaving me with a few min once in a while to check my mail.. haha. but i don't blame her. its cuz of that that i get to do my work. heehee.

anyway, this is my first entry this year. haha. after how long? 19 days. haha. but these 19 days i can say are rather fun. at least i do think so now.. after much reflection. i shall start rattling about these 19 days. in order i hope. haha.

first jan.. wheeeee.
the first second of this year was spent with my family and friends at changi beach, playing wildly.. popping party poppers, blowing into each others ears, running around, chasing each other, taking pictures, laughing, just having fun. though i dread the coming of 2006 but still, it came. there are stuff that are meant to be there, to train me, to make me a better person, to let me experience somethings so that i will be better at other times, etc. i thank thee for letting these things enter my life, to allow me to enjoy my life to the fullest, experiencing all the worldly emotions and feelings. though tthere are some things which i cannot achieve, but i promise thee that i will really work hard and be really responsible for whatever task i am given. i promise as well, to look at things at a positive perspective from now onwards and that i shall spend less time and energy being sad and worried. yup.

back to happenings on first jan. playing throughout the night and then went to have breakfast and then return home for the preparation of the next school day. since i did not sleep well for the past few days, due to orientation stuff, i sleptfrom the time i returned back home from the camp until 8 in the evening before i went to bathe. i was all so much fun. then i started polishing up my preparations at home for the booth for orientation and then prepared for school.

first day of school. stayed in class to do some admin stuff before going down to band room to prepare for the sec 1 orientation. polish up somemore for my booth and then went for recess. met my sister and she was alone, with no friends. i sort of got really worried for her cuz i made a friend once i entered the class. and also because its rather clique-ish but right now, she's okay and i'm really glad. haha.

fastforward to my thoughts...
band played quite fun pieces and had like section booths with lots of games and 'attractive' prices which apparently won lots of sec ones' hearts. haha. many people signed up for auditions and passed them! whoooeeeeeeeee.. haha im' actually really impressed that we did such a good job though i thought we were rather disorganised. yup. yay for mich and fong cuz they organisedeverything and thought of all the stuff...

skip skip skip...
lessons. ate drowsy fedac tablet in the morning of the first day of school cuz i was sneezing away. as a result, i was practically sleeping throughout every single lesson. bad start. tsktsk. but on the good side, i managed to follow quite well of what has been taught so far. (:

did pracs and oiled my rusty practical skills! yay! i think bio prac is actually quite fun other than the mixing up of specimens. haha how foolish of me. i shall not be afraid of doing the wrong thing now and learn my mistakes in order to score my As in o's. wheee. i feel inspired.

some complains about the teachers blah blah blah but nevertheless, they will have to bring us through o's so just bear with them and snitch as much good brains as possible from them. hee. i shall try to complain less and learn more. use less of my mouth and more of my ears.

brighter side...

CHINESE NEW YEAR IS COMING AROUND!!
wheeeeeee... i love chinese new year! haha. get to meet my cousins and relatives again! haha. nice food, nice people and nice money. haha no la just kidding. can't wait for the holiday.. now i treasure every saturdays sundays and holidays! haha

i shall go off now.. ttfn

p.s. the key is to relax...

back from taiwan!

2005-12-19T20:09:00.000+08:00

my sister is finally back from taiwan! after 2 whole weeks. haha. YAY! and not just that she has returned but returned with lots of food (hehe), gifts as well as stories, experiences and photos. haha. oh manns. her trip was so so so fun and cool!

she went to many places, saw many people. saw lin you wei sing live in a shopping centre, selina jen's sister (she is so sweet!!) and many more nice people. not just plainly nice but nice looking too. ahaha. the places she went to has very nice scenery!! oh manns. i wanna go there myself too. so cool la! especially the xiao ren guo. haha. i love xiao ren guo and i hope to go there one day. well, actually, i wanna stay in the xiao ren guo forever! its so so so cool!! ahhhhhh. i'm going high and excited and happy. ((((((((((((((:

i love the palace in the xiao ren guo. haha. its so real and majestic! feels as if its real and i wanna live in it and enjoy the luxurious life! heehee but for that to happen, pigs will have to fly first. fat hope. haha. oh yes did i mention about the airport? haha. its so cool. it looked like a real airport. haha.just that there are no people. but still... its so cool and nice!!!!!!

okok enough said. i shall not live in fantasy anymore.
waaaaaaa. i haven't been doing alot of school workk..
i wonder how i'm gonna cope next year when i look at the sec 3 work with a big question mark on my face. sniffsniff. i shall learn my lesson of not working hard enough and start studying. christmas is gonna be here soon and the new year is arriving. o levels is gonna be right beside me in a blink of an eye. help! i do not wish to grow up as well as take o levels! i still wanna be a child. you may think that i'm childish but i don't wish to enter the complicated society as an adult.. i wanna enjoy my life in the same small playground near my house, screaming, jumping, laughing, shouting, playing, crying, falling like i used to with anyone anytime in the playground. i really admire kids who can just play with whoever that is in the playground and forgive each other in a second, even if they had cause injuries or accidents. the innocence that they have. how cute and wonderful. haha..

ii realised i have been complaining alot these days. i shall stop wasting my time complaining and get started. yesyes. off i go to bathe! tata.

blankness..

2005-12-10T19:51:00.000+08:00

i didn't do it again today. sighh i feel really lazy. no more motivation.

sometimes i really wonder, why people don't do things that are beneficial to themselves. i mean its good for them but they choose to do otherwise. doesn't make sense right? our life is so short and precious but people don't do things that are useful and beneficial to them. but i guess, sometimes, its just that we don't have that much discipline in us to keep ourselves on the track that benefits us. otherwise its just laziness that keep us away from the right track.

raaarhh. i'm just one of the people who didn't do things that are beneficial. i lack discipline and i'm lazy. haha. i should really get myself together right now and start after i bathe and feel more refreshed. yes yes. i'm ready to work. i'm ready to work again and get into the hang of it. :))

anyway, i can't wait till i get down to it. when i accomplish it, i will have such huge contentment that i will feel motivated and continue working some more! hehx. lala. but first i will have to bathe, and most importantly, get away from the computer. haha. yes. get away from the computer. otherwise i'll be stuck here forever. haha.

urghh i feel so sick of eating it. feel like puking. why does she still cook this? i don't get it. doesn't she know that i don't like it? haha. maybe i should just tell her. its too sweet and the taste just sucks cann. ewwwww.

off i go now.
but oh dear.. i'm feeling tired.
but i shall prevent myself from not sleeping even though my head hurts.
otherwise i will just waste away today again.
which i highly don't wish.
ta.

exeunt

thalessaemia... sighh.

2005-12-09T22:59:00.000+08:00

i realised, i have another inherited disorder.

Thalassaemia.
A person who has inherited blood disorder will have defective haemoglobin or may not produce enough of it.

this explains why i have shortness of breathe sometimes suddenly. not enough haemoglobin to transport enough oxygen around the whole body that why i have shortness of breathe. this also explains why i can't run as fast as my sister can. i don't have enough haemoglobin in my body that's why my muscles have not enough oxygen to run faster. this also explains why everytime after i run, my face turns pale instead of flushing red. when you run, you generate heat in your body so your arterioles will dilate, allowing more blood to reach the surface of the skin to release more heat to cool down the body, thus causing faces to flush after running. since i have not enough haemoglobin, so the haemoglobin will go to my muscles first. so there are lesser haemoglobin at the surface of my skin thus i look pale.. haha. i hope my bio doesn't fail me. haven't revised it after finals.. sighh.

yes, i'm thalassaemia minor. sighh. inherited from my mom.
actually, i'm not sure if its alright to say but i guess it is right? i mean it doesn't really affect very much so there shouldn't be much of a problem to say it out. yeah. but why? i really feel depressed to know that i have yet another disorder in me though thalassaemia minors live like normal people and most don't even know that they have that disorder unless they take blood tests. yup.

when i marry in the future, i shall be very careful if i marry a guy who has thalassaemia minor. cuz my child will have 25% chance of having thalassaemia major, 50% chance of having thalassaemia minor and only 25% of being normal. ayeeee.. remind me okiee. to have blood tests in the future. haha. yup.

anyway, i feel really unfilial. today's my mom's birthday and yet i made her angry. every year this day, my whole family would make sure that we are very careful to not make my mom angry but then we broke the trend this year. we didn't celebrate nor go somewhere special.. sad huh?

somehow this year is different. not just plainly my mom's birthday. it started with my sisters' birthdays. in april and may this year. we suddenly decided not to invite my aunt over and so we celebrate their birthdays within our family. then my birthday, cuz van and yan brought me out the whole day so i was feeling really tired. so happens my sister and dad returned at around 10 plus. so by the time they finished bathing etc, it was like 11 plus and i decided to go to bed, thinking that i can celebrate my birthday after a 5 min nap. who knew i felt really irritated having to wake up just after i dozed off so yeah. my birthday wasn't really happy. then my dad's birthday was like during our exams so yeah. haha. not much of a celebration. then today's my mom's birthday. i almost forgot. my elder sister's in taiwan. my grandma's in spore. so my mom decided not to celebrate yet. maybe that gave me to reason to be disobedient today... -.- and thus, my mom's birthday isn't exactly very happy either.

i felt really cheated today too. went to library specially to look for twelfth night essay books but i found none! there were so many king lear, merchant of venice, othello, romeo and juliet, julius ceasar and many others but there just isn't twelfth night. ayee... why?? i shall try out woodlands library. i might have some luck there. yeah. been there before and there are many lit books. yupyup. cool. hehe.

feel quite sian today. and my scanner was finally pronounced dead. after like 2 years?! haha. yeah. so sad la! din manage to use it often and it just died. wasted my money. sniff.
oh and did i mention that i lost my sense of time? i suddenly realised that i forgot what day it was today. which date. oh manns. and i realised that i have a bulging stomach which is highly irritating. ahaa.. okok. tt's so random. i guess i shall be off then. ta

sianz...

2005-12-08T18:12:00.000+08:00

sighhh..

i don't wanna pack my room anymore. the more i pack, the more untidy it is. i shouldn't even change it after i packed it like in the beginning of the holidays. now, i don't know what to do. highly irritated.

i realised that i have been eating a lot recently. and i really mean alot. tt's why i'm bloating up but my money is shrinking. i should really stop eating so much. haha. so it goes the other way round and i'll be happy. haha.

oh yes. i also realised that my mood can change in a split second, depending on how i phrase my sentences. for example, this entry. i was feeling really irritated at everything when i first started. then out of habit, i typed 'haha' and i felt really happy. hehe... so now i know when i'm really upset and when i'm not that upset. when i don't even type a single 'haha', it means i'm really angry and irritated. come to think of it, i realised that's true. when i'm really angry or irritated or stressed or unhappy, 'haha' just disappears from my dictionary. now i know how to be a happy person. always type 'haha'.

-.-

i think i'm mad.

i wasted today again. but not exactly. i started on lit. but a bad start la. fell asleep reading the novel. how nice. a lullaby. -sarcarsm meant- i shall finish reading the novel by this week and hopefully try and write some essays. but i bet, i'll never be able to do that. writing essays during the hols. i think i must be mad. plainly reading the novel is difficult enough. hahahaha. i hope the lit teachers don't read this. haha. otherwise i'll be dead meat. but still, i'm kind of glad that i didn't take geog. cuz i think i'll die doing geog. but who knows. i might like geog later.. haha.

went cycling just now and my sister really gave me a shock. she rode across the road without checking for cars. i know that she's eager to get home cuz she's really hungry and i kind of don't blame her for not checking for cars cuz i have that bad habit too. but just nice, i decidedto stop at the traffic to rest but she just dashed ahead. this lorry just drove towards her. i shouted but then there was nothing i could do and i felt really helpless. i hate feeling helpless. thankfully, the lorry wasn't going at a fast speed otherwise if an accident happens, i'll hate myself forever. i don't know what do to if she.... choi! choi! touch wood. it'll never happen. i can't afford to lose her.. now i hate cycling. EVEN MORE. i swear i'll never go cycling again. i hate bicycles.

suddenly, i begin to value my life more. i'm so inspired to study hard. to lead a meaningful life and treasure those around me. just plainly typing that paragraph made me realise life is so important. but seriously, im feeling really scared now. what if an accident happened just now? oh manns.. i think i will just faint. but i'm really grateful to the lorry driver. luckily, he's at a very slow speed. :)) phew..

okie.,. i'm really hungry and i shall go eat. yup.. tata

not in the mood...

2005-12-07T19:22:00.000+08:00

sighh.

shooo away mosquitoes. i hate you.
so itchy la!
i wonder why on earth there are such animals.
hurhurr

anyway, i really wonder, how people have such patience to write in their blog every single day. i mean, even though i write once in a while, i feel its like taking too much time. maybe cuz everytime i blog, i write alot. since i blog very few times, the quantity should be bigger? -shrugs-

now my arms hurt. from the carrying of my horn. fancy walking round orchard, carrying a big, heavy horn, looking for a shop called bibi and baba which is so super far from the mrt station. hurhurrr. i can't even type properly. just lifting up my spoon to eat, my whole hand shivers la! maybe i should train up more muscles. but still, my horn is heavy okie.. wait let me go weigh my horn...

okie. my horn is 7.5 kg. at least its no like 10 kg or something so i shouldn't complain right? but think. putting 7.5 kg weight on one hand, and plus, the handle has a thin part which comes into contact with my skin. so 7.5 kg on one hand, friction, and great pressure caused my hands to be sore. in addition, my horn case shape is like a da pi xie (big black boot). not like a trumpet case, like a normal luggage bag. thus, making it more difficult to carry it. yes. plus, my arms are pretty weak so imagine how much difficulty i had cuz hugging a horn looked weird so i had to carry it. hurhurr. but in the end, i gave up and hugged my horn. haha. and yes. i was wearing balck band tee shirt. abosorb heat some more.. haha.

actually, complaining doesn't help but then it relieves me. i can't complain to a person cuz i will feel bad for her/him as they have to listen to my crap. so complaining on the blog is like the best cuz my blog will just absorb whatever i have to say and not have any reactions that i don't like. further more, i don't feel bad/. haha.

i don't feel like typing anymore. haha.

oh manns, i have lots of mysterious cuts from the washing of the horn. haha. tt's pretty scary ehh? but i feel really cheated. when he came to teach us how to wash the horn, it looked really simple.. but how come when we tried to wash, we had so much difficulty?? why does the horn have so many curves?? but i think its those that make the horn look pretty. haha. yup. so contradicting.

since there isn't band now anymore, i think i should spend time on my studies. i have been saying that from like the start of the holidays but nothing was done for one whole month. kind of regret it now. but then i need rest too. now i think i over rested, resulting laziness and refusal to sit down and concentrate on my studies. sighhh. i enjoy studying but i hate exams. actually i kinda love exams. its the only time i can concentrate real hard on things. i love the feeling of concentrating hard on a particular thing. and plus i like the stress. haha i htink i'm mad.

yes. i shall go library tmr. to study. and i really mean study. i hope i can do that. i realised that i have alot of things that i can do in preparation of o's next year. but i have to persevere to do them all. i shall train my determination.

i shall go bathe now. i'm sticky and stinky. then i shall repack my room. i seem to pack my room alot of times huh.. can't stand the look of it. nomatter what, it still looks untidy. why ah? i feel like throwing all my things away. so it'll be empty and tidy. i guess i keep tomany things which are of 'sentimental' value to me.. haha yes i shall go off now.

tireeddd.

2005-12-06T00:12:00.000+08:00

...

shan't say much here cuz i'm really tired.

went to watch snyo concert. it was splendid and cool and nice and wonderful. haha. who knows i might become a musician when i grow up. haha yup. snyo concert inspired me. i shall work hard on my horn. hehe.

washed my horn. really tiring and um dirty. yup. but had fun la huh. amanda still wanna wash it like once a month. haha crazieee ah. wash once is tiring enought. once a month. i'll just die. don't even think i'll have enought time lorr. yup

okok off i go to bed!
nitez

as i was saying

2005-11-28T22:33:00.001+08:00

as i was saying...

it isn't the best if you have everything. when you have everything, you won't want anything and you have nothing to dream of... isn't that sad? its always nice to dream about things. at least, it will be better than in reality. you can make up your own ending. which is what i like.

but then again, i should stop dreaming. and get things done. no excuses, no reasons, no complains. oh come on. just do something about it. what's so difficult? do it, and be happy. isn't life happier that way?

i should stop floating and settle down to start work. i mean, i have wasted how long? one month doing nothing! i'm really pissed off with myself. but right now, i can't start straight away. i have other things to worry about. what is wrong with me? its like li bu cong xin. and i hate it. i really wanna be happy, be a good girl and make her happy. but right now, i'm not doing the thing that makes her happy. i don't know how to tell her.

right now, everything i say is about band band band. horn horn horn. my section section section. i can't think of what else to say to her. band is no longer a reason, an excuse for her. she thinks i can just not care about band. but i can't. i have roles to play in band. its different now. i'm getting sick about telling her that oh i will have to get that thing done cuz of band etc. its not as if i want to do it willingly. the teachers give pressure. they give pressure. they want the opposite things. so what am i supposed to be? a committed student or a obedient person?

what is wrong with me? i wanna do the right thing and make everyone happy but there is just simply too many people to please that i don't even know what i want. i have lost myself. or should i say i have never found myself. i'm just blindly following, doing what i have been told.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.. i don't even know what i am talking about right now. i dont' know how to tell her either. i want to make her happy very much. but i also have to follow rules. its really urghh how do you say this. frustrating? in a dilemma? or maybe i should just not care? or maybe i got all my priorties wrong? ayeeeeee..

yes i know what. i should just hurry up finish whatever i need to do for it and then off i go to my beloved work. hurhurr.. by that time i would be too sleepy. but still do a lil before bed. yup haven't done much recently.

we have our speaking rights right? so i can just say what i like right? yes. sue me if you want. but i really can't stand people who are just so rude. who do they think they are . i mean they make business only when we buy things from them. yet they are so rude and expects us to help them. hurhurr. what kinda logic is this manns.

customer, "but the other shop sells at a cheaper price! come on.. i'll buy in bulk and you charge less?"
owner,"no la cannot la. our quality is better so its more expansive"
customer,"but they still sell cheaper. and we are giving during an overseas exchange programme so charge less la!"
owner,"no cannot. our quality is better.."
customer,"oh then its okie.. " walks away...
owner"walau.. talking to wall ah!"

hurhurrrrrrr...

ayee. i shall stop here la huh..

as i was saying

2005-11-28T22:33:00.000+08:00

official school closure

2005-11-21T17:14:00.000+08:00

today's finally the official school closure. end of all exams (maybe not a's) and start of relaxation. but frankly speaking, while waiting for this official school closure, i think i have enjoyed more than i have expected. been camping, going out, cruise. what more do i want? time to study. haha.

had to drag myself out of bed today. decided to start studying today but apparently i'm not. haha still can't get grip of myself and sit down to study. still floating around, hoping for some adventure that i can immerse myself in again.
but sighh. i can't go on like this forever. o's seemed like a long time from now but actually its like just only 12 months later. its not long at all. all the teachers have been nagging at us, hopefully we would study and master sec 3's work so that sec 4 won't be so difficult. yeah. so i guess its time for me to start. shall finish up all the packing and hopefully still have time to do abit of physics. its scaring me. haha knowing that i have failed like most of the tests. yup.

i should be more prepared for o's as compared to my sister. and i should be able to do better. if i start now. but do i have the determination to not stray away from work after i started for a while? for that, i'll have to train and get more inspiration to make me moving all the time.

the best for now is the thought of getting into rj and then go to school with hue. i'm like sick of the days i have to go school alone, come home by myself. the next one is getting more a1s than my sister and make everyone knows that i can do better.

but still. its not yet working. i have planned and day dreamt about how i will work all day long. but its not reality. maybe i should try putting them in reality. maybe i can find more joy than waiting every day for an adventure to come round. yes.

so off i go now.
you can go to the archives to read about the cruise if you have missed it.
yup.
pack. study.

ps i wanna go running.
pss sprained ankle, go away!

cruise.. wheee

2005-11-21T02:10:00.000+08:00

heyyys!

end of o's! congrats all sec 4s!! haha. finally liberated for 5 months. then it'll be the results in feb. yupyup. i'll be waiting too. hopefully i'll be able to get my nice a1 for chinese. praying praying.

anyway, yes i'm back from cruise. haha. nice enjoyment, relaxation and food too. love the bread there. haha. wheeee. shall update about the cruise here. yup. have real FUN reading it. but let me tell you, its gonna be longggg. haha.

wednesday 16th november
went to xh's house at around 6 to get a cab to get to harbourfront centre. though my dad can drive, but xh's family doesn't have a car so we decided to go to her house to catch a cab from there to harbourfront centre. however, it was raining and thus we couldn't get out to flag a taxi with all our bags. in the end, av called for taxi. it was peak hour and raining too so it took a super long time to get through the booking line. and finally when she did, it was machine operated so she could only book a taxi. haha the way she talked about it was rather funny.. yup. so finally, we reached harbourfront centre 1 hour ahead of time. hurhurr. thus we decided to look around. then cuz i didn't drink enough water during band prac the previous day, i had throat dryness. kept drinking water. finished 2 bottles in less than 2 hours and went to toilet for 20 times. but peed very little. oppps. haha. but it was a good way to take up time. haha.

checking in and taking the cards to the cabin took a long while. then finally we decided to queue to board cuz the queue seemed quite long while my dad got the things ready. only then we realised that the queue was super long. haha. it was like three quaters round the 2nd level. haha. then finally we got our cards and entered the ship. the cards are blue in colour, and personalised too. haha cool eh? hehx.

anyway, when i got the card, i found my cabin number highly familiar. then i realised my ic number is just 6 numbers away. haha. so coincidental right? hehe. anyway, when we entered the room, we only found 2 beds. we were utterly shocked. we thought it was supposed to cater for 4 but why only 2? then we found a flipped bed and a mini sofa. then my dad and hh finally figured out the mystery. the sofa can unfold into a bed. then as usual, i'll be sleeping on the sofa. then hh joked that i'll get folded into quaters and stuck in to sofa. then right after that, he laid on the bed and nothing happend haha.. pokk la.

then we went to eat dinner at the mediterranean place. it was a buffet and as we were eating, they were starting the engine to sail off. so the tables were like shaking and hh joked that he had this auror that caused the surrounding to shake. haha. rightt. anyway, the chicken and the ice cream is nice. my sister added chocolate ice cream into her coffee to make poca. haha. xh's idea. but it tasted horrible cuz i didn't like the coffee in the first place. haha. then after that, we went to explore the whole ship. went to the uppest most level. saw the sentosa cables litted with those christmas lightings. quite nice actually. haha. then after that went to watch the premier of tropicalia. didn't really like it. wasn't my type of show. then went to walk round the ship once and watch the myth in the lido too. too bad there wasn't harry potter. bahx. i wanna watch. the myth was super myth still. though it was my second time watching. haha. but i admit the storyline is abit off but still it was funny. tt's the thing that matters. haha.

after the show, we returned to the cabin to rest and play cards. wanted to play through the night but my sister suggested that we sleep and then play throughout the night the next day. so we ended up talking until about 3 plus 4 am. then from then, i kept drifting in and out of sleep, every one hour. at 5, my sis's hand fell out of the bed. then the next time, her leg was out too. and she looksd as if she was gonna fall on me any time soon so i frantically pushed her to the other side. yeah. felt super awake after using my strength. around 6 plus then. felt really bored. was waiting for someone to knock on my door, and create some fun and excitement to the dull, long and boring night. but nothing happened until 9 plus when i decided to finally not bother and sleep. haha. rightt. i guess i wasn't too used to super unstable bed and um air con. haha. my house doesn't have air con you see. its cooling enough. yup. but heyy i wasn't the only one. hh too, was drifting in and out of sleep. afraid of squashing av i guess. but aye. if only i knew then maybe we could have done something interesting then instead of sleeping.. like waking our sisters up and walk around also can. the ship is so big. otherwise, staring at the golden horse piano for the whole night also can. haha.

went to eat breakfast at around 10. haha cuz by the time it was like 9 and everyone was hungry, i was beginning to feel lazy. so i dragged everyone behind. but luckily, the chef was kind enough to let us all take our serving. yupyup. after breakfast, we decided to explore downwards. hopefully, we get to go to the engine. but haha fat hope la. the ship has got 12 floors. so we walked down to the third floor and the crew were standing there, guarding. i walked down to them and they asked... 'excuse me, did you get to the wrong place?' and here comes my dad to save the day! hah. no la. to talk to them. asked them if we were allowed to go to the engine room. of course not la! so after being rejected, we went to play chess. then this ri guy kept watching but he din do anything. haha.

after the game, we went to walk some more. then past the reception and opposite the reception is the golden horse and the grand piano. good news. there's a pianist playing. hehe. went to listen and surprisingly, though he looked like a chinese and plays chinese pop pieces that we like, he's a philippino. haha. his chords are super good. i shall go practise and yup try to modify a piece to make it sound nicer and more complex. hehe. but he makes quite a number of mistakes. haha quite sad yeah? anyway, after that, we went to look at the photos we took as we walked into the ship. found ours and it looked quite okie la. but the cruise really know how to make money. one photo with wooden frame cost wow! haha. i shall not state the price incase they sue me. yup.

then after that, we finally found a theatre that shows movies in the afternoon.ate lunch in a chinese restaurant. but then the breakfast was still too filling and so we returned 4 bowls of rice. haha. but still, we didn't finish everything. i like the sweet and sour chicken especially. its like the only thing that i ate. haha. after lunch, we made our way back to the theatre and watched the hitch. the adults sit a row behind us, the kids. haha. they were all sleeping la! only woke up to watch the ending which was funny. xh's good. she can sleep anywhere. haha. hh slept cuz of my mom's tablet which is drowsy. only the three of us managed to stay awake for the whole movie. hehe.

after the movie, we went to play mah jong. haha. quite fun actually but just that i'm not too used to seeing the pairs and triplets etc. tt's why din win all the time. hh's luck is super good. keep getting good tiles later in the game and won lots of time. next time if we really count money, can't play with him. have to remember that. otherwise i'll be broke. hahas. but the situation then was super amusing. cuz hh din know how to play, so av sat in too. av kept talking and telling him the rules but at the same time still can keep check of what cards he needed. hh just sat there and listen but then somehow he's still blur la. don't even know when he had the chance to win. haha.

played mah jong until dinner time. went to eat western food and the guys had to change into collared and long pants. haha yup. the food is quite nice and all thanks to the etiquette class i went to before term ended. haha yup. a trio group was playing then. 1 violin, 1 guitar and one kou feng qin. not sure how to spell in english but yeah. quite nice music too. nice food as well. anyway, after dinner, we went to play more chess. until it was about 8 plus, we went to watch a performance by some shaolin kungfu and some china people. very nice and powerful but i almost fell asleep. my sis fell asleep.. haha poor girl. so tired. yep. then after that went back to the cabin while the adults, 18 and above went to the casino. the 4 other children stayed in the cabin to play cards. then at around 1 plus, xh suggested that they go and get some food from the buffet in case the adults came back and are hungry. however, we didn't have the other cabin's key so we cun pass the food to them. haha so we intended to wait till they return and knock at our door. but foolishly, we fell asleep all at the same time. haha. real funny.

this time round, i was really sleepy and din't wake up until it was like 9 plus. wash up and pack up a little. went to have breakfast. played another game of chess and walked around some more. took pictures. then went to eat western lunch. the chicken main course was nice. i love it. haha. but by the time we finished, it was like 12.30. supposed to pack up by 12 but we still delayed. but it doesn't matter cuz the line was long so even if we are on time, we could only check out after 12 plus. yup.

checked out and went to collect passports. felt really sad that we are leaving. then it dawned on us that the personalised cabin cards might be collected back by them so we took some photos and then played more cards. but luckily, in the end, we managed to get back the cards so it was kind of a comfort. yup. then we left the ship. sighh. so yea tt's the end of the cruise.

it was fun and timeless. played whole day long. din bring my watch so time din bother me at all. and im' not hungry at any time of the day cuz there's always food. hehe. yup. i should go on cruise more often when i grow up. yes. i should.

anyway, sprained my ankle and so have to stay home. ayeee. can't go out. boredd. okok i guess i shall have to go to bed now. its like 2.04 am now.

swashbuckler

2005-11-10T17:01:00.000+08:00

heyys...

played swashbuckler just now during band prac. great challenge. shall describe it here. remind myself of the upcoming challenges and problems.

first 2 bars.
high f :))
hurhurr.

but it was counted in 6 8 timing and the speed was quite okish so it wasn't very bad. can train my diaphgram. but the problem is that mr yap is like unhappy with it so we keep repeating. its okie but mind you.. its in the beggining. all your energy spent there isn't a very nice idea.

then rest and rest. oh yeah. for this piece, though we have like 99 bars of rests, its still killing us. hehx. for horns.

one two three four five six........

came in with the small melody. and yes. tongue each note. don't make it stick. have punch. it does NOT sound nice when its stuck together.

ONE twoTHREE four FIVE six. have strong inner pulse. like those great dancers. start subdivision now. and have a better life later. haha.

staccato: short, detached ( apart from the rest; separated)

take bigger breathe. don't breathe unnecessarily.

tongue 'un-real' (pull-back-tongue-thing)

finally we arrive at bar 220. :))
the favourite bar.
the melody
but don't be too happy.
cuz its
highF C highF C highF C highF C highF highF highA
highG C highG C highG C highG C highG highG highG

yes. tt's towards the end. after all the numerous holding of random highFs and highGs for 219 bars before the melody starts. how tired can you be? i was like yawning after that. kept blowing and blowing. resulted in lack of oxygen in the brains.

tt's hard for secondary school. it'll be common for jc...
yes. i'm complaining now. i'll die in jc.
but i'll make myself improve. before jc. i hope.

felt super exhausted after being high for 4 hours, and so slept in the bus. missed my stop so walked back from the terminal to my house. felt super irritated with everyone around me. esp the people who smoked.

the people in this world is just so funny. they know its bad to smoke, its bad to take drugs, its bad to do a lot of things. but yet they still do it. why? im like this also. i know i can't slack but i still do. why? i don't know.. lazy.. wanna feel good at that moment..? if say everyone doesn't do the things that are harmful and bad, isn't the world gonna be better? shouldn't we all look forward to this?
as usual. its easier said than done. i told myself to work really hard during the hols. but i dont' see myself doing that. main reason. i'm too lazy. but if i am really determined and do it, won't it be much better? yes self reflection. i have realised. whatever you see is whatever you do. i see people smoking. bad for themselves. i am slacking. bad for myself. if i see wonderful things, i am most likely happy and will do nice stuff for others. i see the link. kindof. yeah. so to see a better view of the people around me, i shall be hardworking.

anyway, i ran this morning. with lynn and jas ngu. this basketball coach was sitting in the basketball court. looking blankly at the basketball court as if he is reminiscing something. a match he lost or something. haha. when i was at my ninth round, he asked for the time. 8.05am. scary.
2 said she saw the basketballers bathing in the toilets. ahhh.. make sense now. basketball camp. perhaps. that's why. he's there early. haha. maybe. not sure. but tt's my guess.

when i entered the band room, after washing mouthpiece with mearie, i saw mr yap looking at i-weekly with 2 and chara. haha. interacting with us. haha. and its quite funny. oh anyway, he's quite observant. he spotted 2 drawing in an extra moustache on ou de yang's face. hahahaha. tt was funny.

oh yes. he we around showing his 2 way picture again. and the house he lived in when he went for holiday. its just a small wooden hut, from the glimpse that i saw. haha. yup.

oh then during band prac, he told us more stories. about west end and broadway. i wanna go watch. haha. and he was nice today too. don't think he is really pissed off. but i must say, the trombones are good. wenhui and wenting. they shined though they were the only ones. haha. yup. the flutes, serene and jiahui were cute too.. they didn't hear what mr yap was singing though i could. and so they played out of time. haha. rather amusing. brought more life to the band. they are cute la! haha yes. oh and i realise that beatrice looks like a waitress. like long time ago. the way she stands. and she just looks like one. and yes diana. don't laugh. you agreed too. it wasn't my fault to have 20 bars rest that time.
oh yes.. mr yap wanna buy chicken littles. haha. he says its cute. the story is rather hmmm.. silly. hahaha. yeah. but anyway, i'll like to try out the cute piece. haha. i don't mind.

its 6.06 now. hungry. oh haha i just remembered another joke.
i was feeling very hungry during band prac. we were playing insignia. and i think it was the second page of the horns score. yup. the sound was getting fuller and warmer. so mr yap was like," getting fuller, getting FULLER"
just then my stomach growled. so i turned and told amanda," i'm not full, i'm very hungry.." hahahaha..

i just remember another one. dont' htink i wrote it down anywhere.
it was before school term ended. i think after we got back our papers.
cam was like telling clare i think. or one of her sisters.
cam: (pointing to her nose) i'm pissed!!
everest: no! she's not pissed! she's camille!!
haha that was really funny. i was walking with everest to somewhere i forgot and just so happens cam shouted and walked passed us. everest looked very puzzled and told me that cam's not pissed and that she's camille. hahahaha.

yes laugh and make you fat. i shall go eat now.

tuesday blues

2005-11-09T15:16:00.000+08:00

woke up really late today. though i slept early last night. haha. i think i slept for 12 hours. but its a good rest. feeling awake now. yup.

have been packing and packing for a few hours but the things seemed never ending. sighh. gonna study later. i hope i will have the mood to. cuz currently, i'm super angry. my sister accidentally deleted my songs from the computer. how careless can she be mannns. but people do make mistakes. i shall contain my anger and stop shouting at her. calm downn.. yes calm down.

shall run later. realise that i can play for more bars without breathing since i started running. tt's a good sign that my diaphragm cavity increased a little. good improvement and achievement. i shall be discipline and continue with it. haha. yes!!

anyway, during band yesterday, when i heard lynn playing the bass clarinet, i was surprised and happy. when mr yap said," Lynn, you rawk!" i was really overjoyed. i mean she took up the challenge and played the bass clarinet alone, not afraid. maybe she is but she really tried!! ahhhh! so proud of her. yes. she is also very willing to improve and listen to advice to improve. :)))))

go lynn!!
sc band shine!!

oh yes. i wanna go on the holidays mr yap went!! the scenery was super nice. though his picture on his phone wasn't good but it still looked really nice. it was the mountains, and the reflection of the mountains on the sea. it looked as in if was upside down. my description isn't very good due to my lack in english vocab so i don't think you can imgaine it. but guess where it was.. you would never imagine. i thought it was somewhere in japan. then mr yap said it wasn't very far and it was actually in.... china. sichuan province i think. can't remember. ahhhh i wanna go there!! maybe when i grow up. i hope it will remain as beautiful as now. yeah.

anyway, mr yap was kinda angry. i felt really bad. not being able to differentiate staccato and accented notes. can't even play clearly. i guess i have a lot more to work on. can't practise today cuz i didn't bring it home and there's band prac tmr. i dunno la! i hope mr yap won't be too angry still. yeah.
but thanks to the holidays, it somehow cheered up mr yap when he was angry but i'm not so sure about tmr. ahh yes. i will have to sign my band leave form.

have to continue packing now.

camp and aftermath

2005-11-05T11:16:00.000+08:00

heyys!!

haha. the past few days are like WHOA! fun, fun and more fun. its all enjoyment. its like the best 3 days in these few months. yeah. its like after exams relaxation and enjoyment.

1 nov. tuesday.
day after chinese o's.
woken up by my mom. time to go malaysia and get the stuff for camping on wednesday. freshen up, changed and then off we went. but first, we went to xh's house to deposit a pot first. her mom needed to cook curry and she didn't have anymore pots so my mom lent the pot to her. went up to her house. very windy and bright. nice house. oh yes. i shall borrow her exam book to play for fun. the pieces there are nice. sighh. quite sad i didn't do them for my exams. nevertheless, i shall just still borrow it. then went to malaysia to shop for stuff. bought clothes, tent and others.

though i'm a malaysian, but i didn't know how to speak malay. so before we return to singapore, my mom decided to get the radio we saw that was in offer. so i rushed there to get it, wanting to return home. yup. then this promoter came. he's a malay. he spoke malay to me and of course, i didn't understand. then finally, i heard the word 'testing' and 'tv'. haha. i'm so stupid right? its time to learn a little malay. but no, not now. i have enough subjects to study right now. maybe when i grow older, i'll just learn basic communication. yeah. i think that should do.

reached home and read my book. then watched more tv. after that, i went to bed.

2 nov. wednesday.
camping day.
woke up at about 11 plus. haha. after exams alr what. wake up so early for what. hehe.. packed my clothes and stuff for camping. quite tiring. have to help my mom with the food too. to make matter worse, we were rushing for time. main reason: woke up too late. haha. that's what i think. maybe for me only. but anyway, in the end, we managed to get tings ready and off we go to changi.

when we reached there, we were one half hours late. aj and her children were already there. pick sticks for fire. haha. so cute. after removing all the stuff from my dad's car, we started pitching the tent. cuz i was sleeping when my parents and sisters tried out the tent, i was kinda lost with the tent. but ayeee.. it was quite easy to pitch. with obs training, pitching tent was quite okie. haha. thanks obs. you made me a more useful person.

unfortunately, while we were pitching the second tent, strong winds came. the second tent was very unstable and all of us were struggling to keep it standing. dumped all our stuff into the tent to prevent it from flying away. quite challenging and fun. haha. then cuz we didn't wanna pitch the tents in the dark, we decided to pitch everything in the winds. luckily, the winds subsided a little and so we were able to put up the other tents. yup. i'm so so glad to have gone through obs. thanks sc too! for giving me the chance...

right after we pitched our tents, the drizzle came. sighh. such spoil sport. allof us retreated into the tent and started eating. the other people weren't there yet so we, me, my sis, mm, wq and wj decided to play cards in another tent to pass time. though i've seen them a few times alr, but we never played together. it is nice to know them.. they are actually very fun people but just that we never had a chance to play together. yup. but anyway, more friends, more fun. uh huh.

then finally, my sis and ben came.. they went to eat and then a little later, the group of us in the tent went to join them. played asshole daidi. quite fun. but i was the ma tong for many many rounds. was tortured by wq many many times. haha. ben too. then finally, the both of us rise up to huang shang and huang hou. haha. not bad eh? and wq, he became the ma tong. haha.

after that, xh came and i went out to talk to her. almost everyone was there alr. yup. she ate a little and we went for a small walk and headed back for more food. then we got light sticks and gathered a group to night walk. xh and i talked alot about schoolwork and other stuff. then hy and her family came. we sat down and talked summore. after that, we decided to set up another place to play cards..

they played bridge at first. i didn't know how to play so i watched for a few rounds. then hy and her family went to sleep and i played a few games. still quite unsure. then we took a break cuz i felt so sianz playing bridge. xh went to read her book and i played with dad's phone. then we decided to go inside a tent to talk and after a while, she slept. i went back to play more cards. then after a while, i got so bored and that was around 2 plus in the morning. i think. then i played chess with wq. so crap la! i don't play chess but since it was so bored, i decided to try out chess. who knows they are all chess pros. bully this poor little girl. who says smart people will know how to play chess hurhurr?? i lost both games badly. but its okie, i'm a good loser.. i don't complain.

then we went back to sit with my mom and the adults. talked and laugh at lame jokes. but everyone still can walk after the camp so it was quite alright. haha. then at around 5 plus, almost everyone slept. it was only me, my sis, wq and wj who were awake... i got so bored and so i decided to play with sand. butt was aching after sitting for so long. wonder how wq can sit for so long.. haha.

finally the sun rose and we wen for breakfast at around 7 plus. ate and walked back to camp site. xh was tired so she went back to sleep. wq and wj couldn't stand it any longer so they went to sleep too. then after a while, we decided to dismantle the tents. after that, we played water bomb and went home.

reached home around 11 plus. read my book until around 2 plus and went to sleep. woke up at 10 plus.was still very tired but cuz i was hungry so i woke up to eat. then after that, my cousins came. they stayed overnight.

yesterday, woke up and wanted to swim but then it was raining. so we went out shopping in orchard. quite fun also. haha. then at around 6 plus, we went swimming. then this morning at 8 plus, we went swimming again! haha so fun. yeah!

ahh.. whole body aching now. sighh. oh yes. in the swimming pool right, hthere were so many people. so people kept kicking people. but then just as i was about to get out of the pool, this guy kicked my butt.. grrrrrr. he stopped, looked at my reaction and then apologized. -.- i wanna sue him. haha but anyway, overall it was very fun!!

aha.. okok i shall stop here. can't wait for my cruise. hehe..
haven't been on a cruise before. someone wanted to play catching on the ship. hurhurr.. hahaha..

chinese o's

2005-10-31T18:26:00.000+08:00

heyyss...

it has been a long time since i finally decide to post an entry. yes. the previous ones, i typed but didn't feel like posting so yeah. didn't want to delete it and waste all my energy so i just save as drafts. yes yan. i'm updating now. haha.

i feel so drained of energy. though its apparently the last exam i'm taking this year, but i don't feel the joy of the aftermath of exams. instead i feel really sad that the year has just ended so soon. i really do NOT want to go to sec 4 and take o's. i haven't really enjoyed my days in sec 3. why did time fly so fast? maybe its cuz i enjoyed too much, so when time flies, i don't feel it flying cuz i'm too engrossed in enjoying myself. yes i think that is the case.

i have been enjoying the times with the band, playing my beloved horn. the sweetness of having completed grade 8 piano and theory. the happiness of having obtained gold for syf this year. the fun in doing biotech. the excitement of exploring toa payoh. the interest in further learning bio, chem and phy. the greatfulness in learning and getting the hang of amath. the warm-ness of my friends celebrating my birthday. etcetc

after analysing for a min just now, on what i have been doing this year, i realised i have indeed been enjoying my life in sec 3. but i regret not enjoying myself thoroughly during all the processes. but nevertheless, all these still left sweet memories in me. i will never forget. they will always be inside my brains. they have no way out of my head. that's why i can boldly say i will never forget.

was doing chinese o's just this morning. can't believe it. its just 12 hrs ago, i woke up to prepare for chinese o's. now i'm sitting down here relaxing myself. it was quite okie. not as bad as i expected. but the compre was um. tough. i didn't know what to write. anyway, i am praying hard i get my a1. i really want it. for me, my parents and my LAOSHI!

laoshi is so so so nice! ahhhhhhh.. i like laoshi. i don't want her to be changed next year. i want her to bring me through o's. i want to continue being her hua wen dai biao!

she is so nice that i really have to say it. she was telling me that i have to get an a1, being her rep. then i was like telling cangying that i am very scared for o's. she somehow managed to lip read and she came over to console me. SO NICE!! really. it was just this small little act that made my day. for the rest of the weekend, i just sat down and study, with my mind full of laoshi. i just have to do it for laoshi. yes. but somehow i think i got distracted by music and the fact that i'm going camping.. err.. -.-.. haha. yup.

actually laoshi didn't have to come today but she wanted to give us moral support so she came. then when the paper ended, she walked towards the corridor to shaw hall and she met us. we immediately asked her for answers. she was so nice to tell us. i felt so comforted and when she actually helped and told the anwers, i felt that i wasn't alone. i wasn't afriad. i somehow felt very confident about my paper. yes. but it was only then. cuz when she left, i felt like um normal again. haha. if i graduate, i will definitely come back and visit lao shi. ^^

oh yes. she is so sweet and nice too. i was complaining to zinc that im very sad about my results. then suddenly she consoled me. she was like saying that we are still in sec 3, so we don't have to be sad. and that she failed her a math the whole of sec 3 and in the end she got a1 cuz she got a tutor. so she was like saying that tutors do help. maybe i'll get one. not so sure yet. and she is so so cute. cuz i asked her if she got all As for o's and she said yes. i was like really?! then she confirmed and said yes, -pause- except for chinese haha.. so cute right?! ahhhh! i don't want her to leave either. sec3 is such a wonderful year. i love it. with all the nice teachers and stuff that i do. yes.

anyway, i was in the band room after o's until 3.30. played my horn and felt so disgusted. my sound is horrible. it is so hoarse and not nice. but how to improve? i shall have to self discover more. and hopefully i can get my section to do it as well. then went to listen to band music. its so nice!! how i wish i can play that well!! someone. help me. but first, i must get the basics right. i shall work hard. yes. with lynn. together, we will make it. i strongly believe so. we shall have to perservere until the end. being lazy will not help. su yu shuo: liang yao ku kou, zhong yan ni er. i must must must always remember this so that my attitude towards improving will improve. and so i will be a better person. (sorry. too much chinese. just had chinese o's so yeah. haha)

anyway, after this year's post exams enrichment, i have suddenly become more aware of how i carry out myself. i guess all these work. i really have to thank sc. yes. they have made such a great impact to my life. i guess it is the place i'm most indebted to, at least now.. yeah. i am beginning to miss sc more and more each day. i can't imagine the life without sc. its just too painful to think of it.

come to think of it, i hated it in sec 1.. haha didn't really like it in sec 2. but nice teachers make big influence.. hehe. banana, you will understand what i mean. sec 3: I LOVE SC! haha. maybe cca make a great difference too. yup.

i think i will send my future daughters to sc too. only if i have. haha. yup. not sure if i'll be married. hahahahaha.

i shall go play the piano later. haha. music all day. music rawks. i love LOVE music. it just brings my mind out of me. its the only thing that i don't feel afraid even though i'm the only one there. that's why i was able to stay in the band room for 4 hrs just playing and listening to music though i was starving. hehe.

i have thought through and decide to work this holidays. i don't wanna regret next year. i will have to start training my determination.

in a day i will do:
either math
2 sciences
newsweek or a chinese assessment

i don't think i will have more time to do other stuff but i will have to speed up my speed of doing things.

yes. i have started myself already. gearing to work in the hols. all thanks to o's. made me work after exams. i shall promise myself to work this hols. have to continue working from now. otherwise i'll decelerate and then stop. and most prob find great difficulty in continuing due to inertia, the tendency of remaining in the original state of motion -- slacking.. haha. yup.

aye. this entry is so long. and i'm tired just typing this. i wonder when i will be energetic.

frankly speaking, i am so not looking forward to enjoyment (camping and cruise) i don't know why. i just want to sleep badly. ayee.. why liddat? i think its cuz i don't wanna see them. i don't want them to see in me in my state now. help!!

i shall go off now and read a book., yes. but wait. i have to thank guan yin niang niang.. you helped me through my o's without letting my mind stray. i am really greatful to you. i suddenly realise how important you are. thanks so much!

results aftermath

2005-10-15T16:12:00.000+08:00

finally i have gotten back all my marks.

happy with some, disappointed with some, angry with some, frustrated with some, irritated with some..

i have managed to pass my days in school, cursing -them-, shouting at no one.. but after all that, i managed to feel okie and prevent myself from crying. yup.

it was yesterday that i finally broke down.

felt so exhausted, tired. hated everything. the whole world, especially myself. why can't i just have put in much more effort? why is it that i can't do it but my friends can? why is it that i'll have to always be at the bottom of my class? why is it that i can't do well even though i knew i have prepared sufficiently? why is it that i feel so confident while doing the paper but i end up getting such bad marks? WHY?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

i know the consequences but yet why did i still not perform well? i knew what i was writing, i knew the facts, i knew what i studied, i knew what i learnt but why was i given the marks? did i really not deserve better grades? did i really not deserve it??????

i just feel like giving up. why do i have to feel so cheated? i know i did ok during the exams but why are my marks not ok? why why why? can someone tell me why? i keep telling myself to persevere and push all i can but what comes back to me in the end? is this world just so unfair?

i feel really tired. i am really trying my best to concentrate on my o's but i just cannot. 2 pages is just what i can do at a time. not more. you just have to understand. if i have to do more, its not going to work. its just wasting more time. please. i really need to go at that speed. you have no idea how i feel, how much energy i need to just learning 2 pages. i don't mind doing it more than one time a day but just 2 pages at a time. i'm really begging you.

i feel really guilty. guilty that i'm not as smart, as good, as clever as her. do you know that i didn't want to be this way? do you know i wanted to do well badly? no you don't. because i don't even know. how can you know?

just stop all the fake oh-i-understand-how-you-feel because YOU DON'T!

just stop trying reverse psycology with me. its not going to work. i am currently in this big pool of quicksand. reverse psycology is gonna cause me to struggle more furiously.. but its not helping me get out of the quicksand i'm surrounded with. its just causing my morale to sink deeper and deeper, causing my whole emotional state of being to drown in the quicksand rapidly.

maybe i just think too much. maybe i should just go and exercise and relax. maybe i should just think of ways to help me out of the quicksand i'm currently stuck in.

or maybe i should just go and die.

aftermath of exams

2005-10-08T23:43:00.001+08:00

felt so relaxed the whole of today... heehee

everything's so relax and smooth today. just so right. no studies. just relaxation and reading and watching. haha. it has been a long time since i get to just enjoy and slack the whole day through. hahas.

woke up rather late but early today. haha. my alarm rang at 5.50am. i apparently forgot to unset it. its supposed to be for the exam period but i guess, since exams are over, i have no use for it. hee. woke up in a jerk and went to off it. then dragged myself to bed again.

later at arnd 10 plus when my sis came barging into the room asking when my dental was. i was like,"hurr.. monday 2 pm what.. why you ask me?? mom knows right??"

haha apparently i told my mom it was tuesday so when the dental person call to check, and my mom told her it was tuesday, she was kinda shock. so in the end i returned a call to confirm. just realise that i was looking at the wrong month while talking to my mom.. hee. so blurrr... haha.

decided to wake up since my stomach was growling.. haha went to eat breakfast and continued with hp6. quite interesting. shall finish it later. can't wait till i finish the book. hahaa.. yup

read and read and read and continue reading.
ate lunch in between.
then my parents and sister went out.
watched tv and played the piano.

fell in love with the piano. hahas. highly unexpected huh? but still, i love my piano. hahas. its so wonderful. finally music after a long time since exams. almost died of ams (anti-music-syndrome). haha. i love music and its wonderful land where there are no right or wrong, no sufferings, just full of feelings and emotions that touch your heart deep down inside, where everyone has a place and a part to play to make music.

then i went to eat dinner and then coach my sister in her work. good luck!! just 3 more days and you can relax! haha. jia you and you can do it!! i believe in you!

then here i am. haha. blogging. i guess that's abt it today. quite sianz la. nothing interesting cuz its just a normal day without any studying. yup.

aftermath of exams

2005-10-08T23:43:00.000+08:00

queen's baton relay!!

2005-10-04T12:48:00.000+08:00

ayeee...

screwwed up emath today. didn't know how to do many questions. if only i had work harder then i'll be able to do better. i utterly disappointed. was venting frustrations with fuzzeh.

"e math is supposed to be easy math!! but i dunno how to do alot of questions"
-- fuzzeh.

which is quite true, as compared to a math which i do NOT understand at all. i'm really disgusted with myself. i am so not looking forward to getting back my results. just hoping that i can get at least 2 A1s. but ayee. who knows i might not even get one, based on my conditions now. sighh.

history. wasn't very prepared due to lack of time. miss tan said that almost the whole of my class screwwed up history.
p.s. my class has only 9 ppl in it. so if 80% screw up, only 2 people manage to do i guess. but heyy. these numbers i used are not true so lets just hope that 100% did well k!

chemistry. was fearing about mole concept but in the end i managed to do it! except one part. which means i am still not very good at it. sighh. anyway, it was much better than expected. i thought the paper would be like murderous, thousand times worse than killer. but it turned out to be killer and i made careless mistakes. sighh

literature. managed to keep calm due to the stomach ache i had in the morning which force me to be calm otherwise i would have to rush off to visit my favourite place, the toilet. hahas.anyway, i am SO glad i close read the book to help improve on my close reading and thus i had stuff to write. yup. was scribbling the whole time. couldn't stop. haha. sufficient time to just explain, i hope. i don't wanna get pulled down by my insufficient explanations, just like ALL my other tests. yup.

compos. haha. quite okish. had A LOT of time for chinese compo. hahs.was sleeping but somehow, i kind of regret sleeping cuz i felt that i should have checked further. yup. but aye its over. english compo was quite okie too. yup i hope i didn't screw up.

biology. memorised and memorised but i guess some refuse to diffuse from the bio book into my head. which is how wonderful. made mistakes in the mcqs. the killer in the paper. made me think for so long before answering. almost didn't have enough time to finish but at least i finished it. tt's like the only consolation. sighh. should have started waaaaay earlier. but its okie. at least now i know. i shall work hard for next yearrr!! yup.

social studies. -blank- totally didn't understand the sources. decided to work on the sources first but after attempting the first 2 parts without understanding the sources, i gave up and answered the structured. messy words everywhere. but i guess i didn't do really well. quite disappointed. wasn't in the mood to write ss AT ALL. sighh. i think tt pulled me down quite alot., but i hope i didn't screw too badly.

tt's basically all the subjects i have sat. quite little actually. but hahas. with the amount of effort i put in i am really afraid that i will be able to do VERY well. sighh.

enough of the gloomy stuff, on a lighter and brighter mood:

there's the queen's baton relay today. went to support after e math exams. it was very fun, exciting and cool. tt's what i think. i feel really honoured! although it did take up my time and that i wasn't able to study physics, but i think it was worthwhile. it brought my mind elsewhere, made me calm and stop getting frustrated over e math. yup.

6 runners, ran from nanyang all the way to sc! wheeeeeee. so cool la! i wanna be part of them but hahas. apparently not. haha. yup emily came in running first up with the baton. i think its heavy but she held it up straight with only one hand and ran all the way! whoooa! way to go!! i'm quite surprised that sharmaine didn't run. but its okie.

first to come in was a car, with a guy filming the whole thing from the passenger seat. then the 6 runners! they were all hot andsweaty but it was so cool! haha. then they stopped and passed the baton to miss heng and they took photographs. then this guy, took the baton and walked round for the people to touch. i went to touch it of course. haha. its this silver metallic rugby ball shape (thinner and longer than rugby ball), with stripes on with where blue light would constantly 'zap' pass. cool eh?

then 2 or 3 guys from acsb came over to sc to continue the relay. hahas. they look so weird. like 3 guys surrounded with so many sc girls watch. hahas. they look so out of place. like duh~ right? anyway, the guys only need to run a short distance as compared to the sc runners. they had to run from nanyang all the way here k. 3 cheers for them! yay!!

then after that, i went home. its so interesting i can't help but write it down. hehx. i think there are many people who will think i'm mad la! haha but aye. its my opinion.

i have to complain..

about her. why does she always have to appear near me? what's wrong with her? whole day long sticking near by me. i can't stand you you know. get away. i am trying my very best to not show my irritatedness but you are getting onto my nerves. please. go. away. you. are. not. welcomed.
stop pretending and acting as if you are very polite and nice when deep down inside you are not. i hate it when you are like that. why act? i see no point. just be straightforward. what's wrong with being straightforward? i SERIOUSLY hope you that you would go. away.

back to physics. i shall study and not sleep this afternooon so i can finish t he topics. yup. here i come, physics website.

biotech rawks!!

2005-09-12T19:29:00.000+08:00

wheeeee...

finally this morning i don't have to wake up early in the morning to mug.. wait i mean study last minute for tests. i feel quite relaxed la actually. hahs. long time since i felt so relaxed on a monday morning. yup.

anyway, today was quite okie. did stuff and followed lessons quite alright. better than i expected. at least i was able to understand much better. oh and i realise that chillian jim is really smart and diligent. she actually went home and took the trouble to understand a subject that she didn't attend a single a math lesson at all. go chillian! hahas. you rock!!

i felt really useless after spending one whole week of holidays not doing anything but breathe, eat and sleep. sighh. finals are in 2 weeks time and i am still down here blogging. see how hard i'm working? hurhurr. tt's so sacarstic. but tt's to tell myself. hahas

finally! cam is back in school to attend lessons as my partner! i miss her so much! yes. i do. after she din attend school right, i stopped talking for 2 weeks cuz i found no one to talk to. now when she's back, i cant speak properly. bahhx.. abit the -.-""

rach kept wanting to do biotech la! hahas. she is so siao! um okie. but since she had like prefect commitments plus the upcoming finals, i don't blame her for being so anxious to get everything done! i really admire her for her self-discipline! i shall be guai like her. hahas. rach's my ou xiang. o.O no la! hahas kidding.

sighh. i din wanna present for biotech thus i did the powerpoint presentation. apparenly she din know my objective of working so hard at the powerpoint presentation. ayeee. first we were like presenting one by one. waiee was standing far right and so she was chosen to speak first. spoke until the theoretical background before she stopped. yan went next. she kept laughing cuz of the bacteria... talked for quite a short while and cuz mrs l realised that yan was not really prepared so she made yan sit down and prepare for a second time. yup. then rach went up next. she spoke really briefly and went all the way to procedures.. haha. quite funny. then before my turn, sophia came into the lab and stood beside me and said," you go already?"
me: um no.. why?
sophia: aiyah you sure get in one la!
me: harr.. no don't want.. i did the powerpoint already..
sophia: har.. no you sure get in one..
mrs l: my!

i went up and said," good afternoon errr.. good morning judges
(my sense of timing is very good. it was abt 5 plus pm then. hehe)
i'm tmy from (almost wanted to say sec 3 se, but din cuz i realised i wasn't supposed to say that..)
.... she is rachs, she is lyy, she is vw and we are from scgs... the title of our project is the antimicrobial properties of fennel seeds..??

mrs l: fennel only.
me: the title of our project is the antimicrobial properties of fennel.
mrs l: oh and when you greet the judges, just say i'm tmy, my team members are rs, vw and lyy, and we are from singapore chinese girls' school. don't say scgs. then you continue with the title of our project is blahblah okie?
me: okie.. umm.. good morning judges, i'm tmy rourourou
(apparently i was about to say from 3 se. i guess i'm really too used to calling teachers. hehx)
um.. good morning judges, i'm tmy, my team members are rs, vw and lyy and we are from scgs. er. singapore chinese girls' school...

mrsl: its okie no need to continue already. you are definitely in already. so now we have to choose another person.

me: harr? -walked back beside sophia-
sophia: see?! i told you you sure in one la!
me: see la! all your fault. i don't wanna present. sigh

other people talked for so long, i merely said 3 sentences and i'm in. hurhurr.. then mrs l was choosing among the other 3.

mrsl: -pointing to yan- you, i'm very afraid that you will start laughing then. we cannot afford to laugh!
you two, rs and wv. vw you are louder and can speak better but you are not very familiar with the topic. rs, you are more comfortable but you are quite soft.
rachs: vw should do it! she knows more and she is better than me!
mrs l: how do you know she know more stuff and is better than you?
-everyone laughed. but mainly contributed by me cuz i think we reacted too violently-
rachs: no! cuz just now she was explaining all the stuff to us!
mrs l: oh okie.. vw, try again!
waiee did again and she sounded so much better!
mrs l: eh? how come you sound so different as compared to just now?
yan saved her and said: oh cuz just now she was the first person and now she knew what to say.. hahas.

sighh see la! i'm presenting and i can't go for squash again!! urghh i'm so so so sad. a long time since i last played la! i miss squash! arghhh. sorry laoshi. sighh. i wanna play squash!! but there isn't squash after finals lorr. oh manns. so sad la! sighh. ahve to wait till next year before he can train me. i want training!! but i shan't complain cuz i like biotech too. haha. clash of timing. have to sacrifice one la! no choice lor.. oh yess when is the friendly? next year? i hope there is one more before i leave sc! yeah!! i dont' wanna leave sc not winning anyone. yup.

then when i got home and told my mom abt it, she was clapping her hands very loudly, saying," very good very good! i'm glad your teacher chose you. so that you can become more confident!!"

i bet she's like thinking," oh manns i love your teacher!"
haha. thanks a whole lot mom. when i needed someone to share my grieve with, you are like down there clapping.. haha. quite sadist but that actually cheered me up la! cuz i know my mom's supporting me. haha. i guess she really knows how i feel and what kind of encouragement i need. haha. i love you mom..

i am sooo inspired by chillian and rachs. i shall go study now. hehx.

good luck to all sec 4s! jia you for prelims!

oh yes.. and i don't like him..
during contact time, i was playing with the tree, tie a yellow ribbon thing.. not listening to him cuz i can't stand him. then he was talking abt attendence. "if you are sitting beside someone who is not here, please tell me." since iwasn't paying attention to where he was looking, i din't say anything. so he repeated 3 times before i finally decided to look up and then to my greatest horror. he was staring at me. oh fine. so i said," um she's a prefect, cam.. a prefect, cam is a prefect" then he was like"OH~"
righttt. hurhurr. not like he din know la! purposely one right. i DON'T LIKE YOU! urghhh.

ho yesss there is one more thing.. how can i possibly forget?
SOPHIA is the class rep of sy!!! hahas, tt's super funny la! hahas.
charm: its been one week and i still haven't gotten over the trauma.
i guess you can see how unexpected she is.. hahas. i shall not be a sadist and laugh at her anymore. hhahaa.. go sophia!
yes. the other group is super funny and brings joy to the whole project. hahas. its so much fun working with sophia, chuan and charm. hahaa. yupyup

okok ishall go bathe now! yeah! studying is funn. shall practise for my presentation at 10 hehe.

trick.mocking.whatelse?

2005-09-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

heyys...

shall talk about what happened this week. aye. quite sad that i din get to go back to primary school. i am beginning to doubt that i will go back next year cuz i wanna celebrate the last teachers day in sc, in sc. yeah if you get what i mean. sc rawks so much la! can't believe that i'm gonna graduate in a years' time. sighh is it me or did time really pass so fast? i am beginning to feel scared abt my future. not sure but i just feel uneasy at the thought of future. maybe its a premonition that shi jie mo re is coming soon and that everyone will die horridly. oh manns. i shall not talk abt it. yeah.

played for the kedah people. screwwed the horn soli! why?! i always break promises. i promised myself not to screw up but then i screwwed up. for piano exams too. sighhhh.. i bet mr yap would never play a piece with horn soli anymore. all cuz of me. i should have be more prepared too. everything is screwwed cuz of me. i'm such a jinx.

oh and i just realised that i cannot remain happy the way i was last time. im beginning to feel that i'm back to the times when i'm very depressed and that i am not able to put up a cheerful front though i might be feeling sad inside. maybe i'm just too tired to hop around.. yeah i'm no longer jumping arnd, smiling. i'm tagging arnd, frowning. ayee.. why liddat? sighh! i guess i just can't cheer myself up.

just now, a wrong msg was sent to me. it said," congrats! you scored the highest in the school! all your hard work is paid off! well done! enjoy your week!"

my heart was thumping like mad when i din regconise the number. heyy. the person could be mdm merle or mdm yeo k. announcing my piano results. so i replied and asked who the person was and the person said wrong number. sighh.. its 1 month and a day from my piano exams. my results ought to be out in a few weeks time. i think i'll be very stressed and scared until i get my results. sighh..

why must the person send wrongly? everyone knew how badly i screwwed up la! why do you still wanna make fun of me? not like i haven't regret enough. why are you so evill!! sighh. i guess they are giving me false hope that i will pass. maybe its a sign that i will fail. cuz i can't score the highest in the school sighh!! i dunno. i wanna pass badly. this is killing me. back to a more cheerful event.

went for prize giving in toa payoh yesterday. their organization was quite bad la. the mayor wasn't even prepared for his speech. rather impromptu. or maybe he lost his script. but nevertheless, he finished his speech. then was the prize presentation. there's one stage person who looked utterly famaliar and so i kept staring at him, trying to recognise who he was but failed. then after prize presentation, we were supposed to be split into groups according to the colours. but then somehow the person forgot to give us (fuzz and me) our colours. so we decided to sneak away and then hopefully can steal some food. yeah. but then the person whom i tried to regconise noticed us stranded there and so he kindly offered us to join his group. hahas. so unwanted eh?

joined the trial by purple box and it was rather boring cuz its not like our first time there. we have participated in the competition as well and thus went to the places before so what is there that is interesting? maybe the people in charge but aye. we could have won too. its so easy to win just that we din have the time to do it. sighh. at least we tried our best. yup. then this guy from the purple box team right, came up to me and ask me how i found this trail. thankfully his friend came and said," the trail is not over yet how they know whether its nice or not?" or something like that. then i took the chance to talk to fuzz and so diverted the topic and he din dare to ask again. hahas. horrible experience for him huh? but i din wanna hurt him la! i would have said boring cuz i have been to the places and explored them too. so yeah. then finally got back and did surveys. decided to write some crap stuff on the surveys cuz they look so plain. hahas. but then i guess we just embarrassed ourselves. i spelt certificate as certification twice.. -.-"" and the guy looked at our surveys 2 s after he got it and turned around... quite maluated la! but that was the first survey i actually gave sincere comments k. i'm not that bad k..

ate the food there. realised that it is the same food caterer as honours day. hahs. but i had a little gastric cuz i din eat breakfast. but aye. it din matter after all. recovered within a while. oh yesh. i forgot to mention that i met the deputy head prefect of hg sec, maj's primary school and tuition friend, eunice and esther's neighbour. very nice person. hahas. forgot her name though. but i guess maj should be able to remember her.

then after the trail, this guy came up to us and ask us which group we joined and then we said the red group. so like he was like erm.. actually you are supposed to be with me, in the grey group but nevermind. thanks. and he walked off, leaving me and fuzz feel so odd. haahs. rightt. we thank you for telling us where we are supposed to be and for being abandoned by you, the person who helped us register. but i think he felt quite screwwed too. yup. okie. i just realised i sound too sacarstic. aye.. sorry.. but i meant the first part, telling us where we are supposed to be cuz i think he came with good intention, to clear our doubts. but it doesn't matter now la! hahas.

then today, my sister's friends came over again and my mom baked banana cake. i really thank them cuz whenever they come, i will have nice food to eat! though its quite a bother to pack up before they come. but i still had the benefit of nice food. not that bad after all. yup. my 2 aunts, grandma, uncle, cuz and her bf came over to get cake. its good to see them again! yeah!

i shall study soon, after using the comp and not slack away this whole day. sighh. somehow i don't wish to grow old. so i don't have to hold any responsibilities which is a big word to me. i don't think i am stable and mature to hold the word. its a word which i respect alot. yeah. other than passion and love and others. yeah.

tired, exhausted

2005-08-31T22:38:00.000+08:00

i'm really tired la! sitting in a really relaxed but um ugly and bad position. hahas. but its comfortable k.. haven't change out of class tee and school skirt yet. just feel too tired to move around. right now, my yeys are like half closed. i have been trying to keep my eyes open to see what i'm typing. sighh.

was doing biotech report when i felt so sad and guilty and bad that i accidentally deleted the photos. i cried la! i was so worried for the report can. then in the end it turned out that i din need the photos. which was good. hahas. then i did the report until like 3 plus in the morning. tried to send to mrs logan but then the file was too large so i had to split it up into 2. sighh. took so long for the computer to finish uploading the files la! that's why i ended up sleeping so late. i mean early.

the next day woke up at like 6.30. quite late la! but wasn't late for school. quite bad la cuz i din manage to finish um my hw. lotsa hw undone. feel so guilty. aye. stayed back to do biotech again. therefore i din get to go for the bian lun hui. sighh. why liddat? but then again, it was quite fun doing biotech. biotech rock la! hahas. it was super funny with sophia and charmaine in the lab doing report oo.. hahas.

reached home and chiong the report once more. after completing it, went to do half of my ying yong wen. then laziness came to visit me again. so i went to sleep and 12 plus 1 in the morning. hoping that i might be able to wake up at 5 plus to finish off my ying yong wen but then again, i din. hahas.

woke up at 6.15, with my eyes super dry. kept blinking and blinking. rubbing my eyes hoping to generate more tears to prevent eye dehydration if there is such a thing. hahs. dragged myself out of bed, and wash up. went to school feelign really tired and sad and unenthu. sigh. i miss you cam. i wish you were in school. i never realise how much you affect me until now. hahas. 2 days of school w/o seeing you is like 1 year of school in a different class from you. as in like i know you but you are in the class next door. yeah. was sleeping in the car. then my dad woke me up and i was like "why is the journey so fast? i wanna sleep summore!"
somehow at the thought of not seeing cam again for the whole day really upset me.

then as i was walking into the school, i realise that cam is coming to school today! wheee. i felt much better. walked in to school with yaya and i met cam in the amphi. its so good to see her again. you rock cam! i never cared so much for a partner you know. and for that thing, i really feel very sad for you. seriously. i have never felt so sad for someone before. yeah. hahas.

went for aces day. was really dead. the atmosphere arnd me was like still. i wasn't even cheerful la! dunno why also. sorry wheezy. then took pictures in class. and presented the teachers with presents. yup. then went to prepare for band performance. it was really screwwed la! played kidz klassix, i want it that way and um somewhere out there. tamago was like super funny la!

weiting: we are going to perform 3 songs, somewhere out there
tamago: because we know that you teachers are always somewhere out there. (saw rolling eyes)
weiting:i want it that way
tamago: because in class you teacher want us to do things you way
weiting: so now we want to do it our way
audience laugh
weiting: kidz klassix
tamago: so you can experience your chilhood joy again.

performance was really screwwed. kept mispitching. dunno why also. sighh. timing was quite out. at the end of the thing, somehow weiting just stared at me and give me this -hurhurr screwwed la- look. yeah i was giving her this cannot make it half smile. felt really bad cuz i think its quite maluating to conduct a band which is not prepared at all la! haha

went back to band room and played pieces with diana, pat, syl, yan, tamago, jasmin, jasmine, van, jx, cheryl, weiting, eunice, chara and jesc. then kesh came back. she still look as happy as before. let her play the horn and she sound really good though she hadn't played it for quite a while. i'm really inspired by her la! i shall work hard. yup oh and congrats diana! merit for horn exams eh?! good job!

then went to do biotech. realise i forgot th bring the memory card reader and so i had to go home to get it. isghh. felt really tired and so i slept on the bus carrying files cuz i decided to empty the table. hee. slpet all the way to central and had to walk back la! sighh then upload pics on the comp to creat space for the new photos. and then i reached school at abt 3.30. jean thought i was going for the bian lun hui which i really din go in the end. regretted now la! kind of. hee.

started tagging on yan and van. haha. then cuz we all left to help the prefects and thus got scolded by mr wong. sighh i shouldn't have left. its all my fault la! cuz i really din wanna go but then dunno why i followed too. yup. then finally sophia and charmaine came and they were so funny la! hahas. yup. finally finish biotech report! yay!

just reached home after seeing van and laoshi off the car and bus respectively. then 2 called me and complained to me again la! hahas. then cuz my sis wanted to use the phone so i got off and when i wanted to call her back ,she's like engaged and so here i am. yeah.

i shall work with myself first. then show it to them that i can do it and thus be able to help them and make them trust me. yeah. aye.. she is so right..

okie., ss and amath here i come. actually i shall go bathe now. really dirty and stinky.

ps. i'm half dead now. eyes are barely open. hahas.

lovely...

2005-08-27T12:19:00.000+08:00

Installing LOVE
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install it now. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART, ma'am?

Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running, ma'am?

Customer: Let's see... I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running now.

Tech Support: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off, ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until it's erased the programs you don't want.

Customer: Okay, now LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes, I do. Is it completely installed?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTs in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?
Tech Support: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "ERROR 412-PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean?

Tech Support: Don't worry, ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTs but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Tech Support: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Tech Support: Excellent. You're getting good at this. Now, click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. Ah, one more thing.
Customer: Yes?

Tech Support: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you.
Customer: I will! Thanks for your help!

Remember, LOVE is Freeware!

haha.. this is sent to me by yan. decided to post it up cuz i think is funny.. haha. i hope its not copyrighted... yup :)

handover, open house, ymca

2005-08-15T18:18:00.000+08:00

heyheyy!!

i haven't been here for ages... yup and this place has dieded with no one updating and tagging.. yeah

anyway, i shall update the IMPORTANT EVENTS in chronological order.. yupyup.

first up was handover. ayeayee..
bad omen first thing in the morning. woke up late and arrive in school at 8 am, thinking that i was damn late. i rushed and rushed and it turned out that there were even more late comers than me. didn't eat breakfast and when i reached school, it dawned on me that the canteen wasn't open so i had to starve throughout the whole day. the performance started at like 8.30 and ended at like 10 i think. went to amphi to get things done.

the box, sc band gift, which was super screwwed at first turned out to look nice in the end. yup. all thanks to me! heehee. had like cotton wool at the bottom, sweets all over it and a bear wearing a shirt with the letter 'D' hugging a banana beside a santa boot with messages inside. so its diana bear hugging diana, the banana.. "so i'm hugging myself!" -- diana. hahas
the heartshaped box was wrapped in purple paper in such a pro way that ppl thought the box was bought with the paper already on. haha. yupyup. then the cover had a heartshape made of sheepwool (thanks van!) outlined with glitter, with the words: diana sc band french horn. looks nice right? i suddenly realise that i'm quite artistic. heehee. opps. i'm being ego again.
then cuz it was raining, we had the handover marching thing in the hall. first, we took photos. with the sec 4s at the front and the rest arranged according to height, we finally took a band picture after a very long time. but its very sad that some people weren't there. yup.
fell in and then the sec 4s handed over to us one by one. when it was my turn, diana pinned the section leader badge on my uniform and asked me to look after the section while shaking my hand. tears were welling up in my eyes. the feeling of diana really leaving finally sunk in me and i felt really sad and scared. i shook weiting's hand and she said," must make sure the section can play okie.." i was biting my lip already.. but i nodded and promised her that. i felt the heavy load of responsibilities that diana was carrying all the while all shifted to my shoulders. i walked to mr jeow and he said congrats, miss soh said i think.. i'm glad you joined band. and i went back..
next was uniform head. nicole was like i have nothing to give you but its a very stressful job so good luck k.. haha. oh and they were laughing at me cuz my collar was crumpled! urghh! i din mean it to be crumpled okie.. then diana, a prefect, was like you better make sure the ppl tuck in their shirt okie. weiting: ya.. good luck. its very tiring one.. hahas. mr jeow: congrats miss soh: congrats and before i leave, mr jeow: oh and make sure everyone wear their uniform properly okie..
then after that, the sec 4s salute to us which is a super sad moment. its like the sec 4s are really leaving us lor..
next we went back to band room and listen to the sec 4s play for us legacy and at dawn. the first piece , syf piece they ever played.. yup. next was our turn to play the extracted piece for them. very screwed cuz the euphs and horns cleverly forgot their photocopied scores at home. hahaa. yupyup.

went up to the ava room to was the sec 3 video for the sec4s. really nice. funny too. and i could hear jo and i sniffing away in the background when the clarinets were talking .. so cool! i'm so excited when it comes to it. yupyup.. then watch the sec 2s perform some skit, the revenge of the bandits. din really understand la! then um the sec 1s did some cute stuff. yupyup. then split out into sections and gave section gifts.

the glitter glue wasn't dried yet when i want to give diana the gift. and she was so clumsy to drop the whole box! my nicely decorated box la! urghh!! in the end the cotton wool was just any o how placed cuz diana was coming.. how nice. rightttt..

presented diana with the gift and then diana gave us this big transparent cup with stuff inside. there are candles, marbles etcetc. yay! diana's artistic too.. haha.. then she gave us the band file.. and we talked and talked. when i started talking right, i felt so sad that diana's leaving. she's my only senior. the person who saw me through the whole band year, never giving up on me even when i can't play the notes properly, the only person who stayed with me for extra sectionals to make sure that i can play, the person whom i respected so much, in playing wise as well as studies as well as leadership abilities. she just rawk. i cant imagine sectionals without her. it'll be so weird. so empty. i'm beginning to feel afraid that i can't keep my promises i made during handover but be rest assured that i will do my best for you, for the section as well as for sc band.

yup then it was like 2 plus before i could finally go out for lunch with yan and nic. ate bk. nice lunch after starving myself the whole day. yup. then met eunice and the trumpet section and then she left earlier. bought tamagochi from taka and sat outside taka to play with it. saw xin ying and non non outside taka too! they went to watch fan 4. yup. then i went home and slept i think. haha yups.

open house now..
woke up and came to school, planning to pack the uniform cupboard. but apparently its quite packed and so i helped jo abit and taught ppl how to tie ties. yupyup. my role as uniform head eh.. haha. um yeah. then changed into band u and then got ready to perform..

performance was quite screwwed. order of the pieces were: centuria, abba, go west, queens and colonel. solo for centuria was quite okie. abba wasn't very nice. go west!! urghh.. the rhythmic problem. kept playing it wrong. and the horns melody. we happily screw it up. sighh.. queens was nice but rach kept dying so i had to keep playing and so i was quite exhausted la. yup. colonel was just sightreading cuz she requested that i play 1st with her. yeah. quite okie la!

busy moving the instruments.then after that slacked the rest of the time. haha.i love the string ensemble jnrs. basically the whole string ensemble. they are such fun bunch of ppl arnd.. heehee. so cool.. yupyup. when it was their time to perform at the eco pond, at one moment, i was the only audience with mrs kee. then they requested for me to sit on the stone directly infront of them.. so i risked my life and sat there. i might have fallen in and drowned okie. i made the smart choice of not conducting them cuz otherwise, they would have no audience at all! haha. yupyup. then mrs kee requested them to play in the primary school courtyard where rachtjong joined me. yup. the parents arnd the kitchen also peeked for a while yeah. then after that band's last performance. yupyup quite cool. wasn't starving that bad cuz zinc's chocolate saved the day! heehee. she rawks.. we were making so much noise in the lift science lab la! with me not wearing shoes, walking barefooted around the whole place, fearing that the teachers will notice. haha.

then after the whole open house, diana, eunice tamago and yan played with the radio.. yupyup. it was a really nice sight to see that all of us love band so much. love band music as well as their instruments! oh manns. i can' wait to improve and improve until my playing is quite okie.. yupyup i feel so inspired. yeah. hahas.

shall talk abt ymca nex ttime. opps i missed out sentosa too.. ayeaye. i'm getting old. can't remmeber stuff.its okie. so i won't be so longwinded. cuz i only remember the main events. yupyups.

A MATH!! here i come!!

screwweeed.. fun eh?

2005-08-05T20:51:00.000+08:00

oh mannns! i screwwed my piano exam la! sighh...

Mr. David Price... hmmms. i think he's rather nice. but then again, i still screwwed up. c major staccato. easy! but then every alternate scale right, i screw up la! :'( but aye. its over. i can't do anything abt it already. sighh. sightreading was quite screwwed infront but then i ended on the right chord so it was quite okie. yupps. i think. um aural was badd.. i knew it was baroque and JS Bach but guess what i said. romantic, chopin. veh good ah.. then after that i was so so sad that i cried cuz like i know the stuff but then i panicked and then i just anyhow say something. :'( sighh. i think i'm gonna fail. but then again, i don't wanna fail. but if i pass, i will not be going for anymore lessons anymore. but if i fail, i get to play piano but then again, the fees are super ex canns... dilemma. but now its up to the examiner to decide whether i pass or not. but if i dun pass, i'll be super sad. and cry super badly like sh. aye.. i shall not think abt it anymore. the more i think abt it the more anxious i get, the more i wanna know my results. but i'm scared to know my results. yeahh..

ok. tt was super rubbishy. ayee... whyyy!! why must i screw up? hurhurrr... i wanna die now la! it was like my chance and i very cleverly spoilt my chance.. :(

okie anyway, today its super fun! had intensive band prac. whoa cool mann.i'm so so sorry xy that there is no marching today. only perc. ayeee. sorry xy.. really sorry.

then after band, 2, nic and chris board 66 together and then we were laughing like madd. haha. then when this old man was about to alight, squeezing pass 2 and my bag, the buss suddenly jerk and he fell abit. yup. then after that, the bus driver fail to see that the old man haven't alight yet so i presed the bell for him. then so the bus stopped very abruptly. the man's head was like stuck onto the ezlink place. very poor thing right? then he couldn't balance and i was like trying to hold him though it wasn't of much use. then i saw this brown wallet on the floor. cuz the old man was like looking arnd so i thought he dropped the wallet so i wanted to give it to him. then this acsb guy behind me suddenly said, "oh! its mine" so paiseh canns!!! arghhh! i was like "huh?! orh.." and i returned to him. so spas cann... and the bus was full so everyone was like staring at me! O.O ayee. why do i always land myself in such a great trouble? sounds familiar huh? maddcap 3 heehee.

ohoh. then chris and i were like joking abt the wallet thing.
chris: maybe the old man's senile
me: oh then when the old man open the wallet then he'll think that its him when he is young.
hahahahahahaha... okok tt's damn mean la but then again its funny. opps dun sue me!

oh yay! tmr i'm making ic... hahah. so fun and exciting. shall go bathe now.

scareedddd

2005-08-02T20:45:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHH... SCARED!

tmr's THE DAY!

the faithful day that determines whether the 2 years of practising have been to waste or not. the faithful day that determines whether my parents and wasted money on me or not. the faithful day i have been waiting for 2 years. the faithful day i thought would never ever come. the faithful day when i'm gonna prove to myself, my parents and mdm merle that i'm not a LOSER, and i do not need to be behind other people's shadows ANYMORE!

p.s. its not that i lack vocab but its just that i wanna emphasize the FAITHFUL DAY just like in poetry and prose. mrs neoh, miss soh and mrs low, i pay attention in lectures :)

this faithful day is really important to me and i don't wish to think about what would happen IN THERE. i'm very afraid that i would screw up. if i screw up, i'll just cry and die on the spot. i really tried very hard okie. (um okie maybe not) but for two years, playing the same three pieces, (okie maybe not the same three pieces) but working on the pieces for this faithful day and not getting sianz abt it that i just any-o-how play them. this shows something right?

was practising now. realised that my sound is getting much better. at least that's what i think. wanted to play in school but i cleverly forgot my books! urghh. now i'm so alone in this music exam world. sighh. without my friends' comments on how to improve LAST MINUTE, without my teacher's affirmation that i would do well, without any consolation and encouragement from those who understand me.. sighh.

im in NO mood to do emath now. but cannot la! have to take test tmr.. sighh. whyy? i really wanna do well but im feeling really nervous now. arghh.

anyway, just to encourage myself, i'm gonna buy a nice piano book to practise and work on even after the exams cuz i just love piano and music so much. they rawk! my horn too.. omgosh.. i'm crazy over music.

music, please bring me to the wonderful and comforting land. i don't wish to suffer here without you anymore. i'm getting piano-sick already although i haven't stop piano...

i'll miss you mdm merle! anyway, thank you for helping me all the while, and tolerating all my nonsense that i played. i promise i'll do my best tmr! :)

my day!!

2005-07-29T21:25:00.000+08:00

heyys.. it's been a long time since i last updated.. heehee. shall update today cuz tmr there's no school and today's a special day!! ahhh.. i'm so so happy and touched with all my great friends! thanks a lot for the friendship as well as whatever you all did for me! i really appreciate them... i'm really happy today and don't worry, i enjoyed myself alot! ^^

actually i wasn't really veh happy the whole of today...

woke up in the morning to study for bio test cuz i was being so last minute that i haven't started studying like um until quite late so yeah. the first thing i thought of when i woke up was: study bio! what a bad start for a day. anyway, birthday or not, bio test is still a must to study for. so i dragged myself wearily out of my bed and sat at the table, and started studying for bio. then i was feeling really sleepy so i went to sleep at um 6? yeah. woke up at 6.30. din wanna end my beautiful dream that quickly but in the end no choice la! just did it.

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dwrqdr, lpe dccdwxezewl on lpe xtlltwx qdj cedaar qetch. lpe oah gopfae qdj jbpeertwx dl lpe hctmec'j jedl, jpe dwh pec in dl e ncowl jedl qptae pe qdj jtlltwx ielqeew zr nctewh dwh t.dig he nxptb ka zwof bcj lpmqs ru.

din know what happened next cuz like um i woke up feeling groggly, dressed and off i am to school. hahas. yup. not really impt so its okie if you dun understand. yups hahas. reached school and um played basketball. can't dribble and um shoot. can only like um block ball from non- school team ppl. hahahas. shows how lousy i am. anyway, after that was like um bio test. i get the first qn wrong la! urghh. bad omen. sighh. then nth much happened.

oh then at recess, grace bought cake for me... chocolate, cheese cake! how did she know i like chocolate and cheese? o.O but anyway, iwas like eating meepok as well as the cake at the same time cuz we were running late as the bio test ended late. yup.but it was nice cuz it as my first time celebrating my birthday with a proper cake and candles in school! thanks so much grace! love ya gurl! <3

after school, din go for band cuz had to do science stuff la! but it was quite fun. then after that, yan and van brought be to ps to um get something. haha. a mp for me la! din know the brand so was like asking me... quite funny. but cuz i dunno why i was veh lethargic and so was like walking away while they discuss abt the thing. in the end van told me abt it la! i was shocked la! its so ex canns. i really can't accept it!

then after that, we went to swensens to eat. had fries, earthquake, and fries again but this was enough to make me bloated. yups. went home and found out i had like um 7 msges wishing me happy birthday! ppl do remember me! heehee. yups.

thankyou list:
nicole cheung xin ying ma yi yan grace bev van cam wheezy hil sis
xh rach aud diana mandy cuz jxian em glennda kelly mearie dearie jess op nana non non eunice ami rach chillian jim(haha) uncle tan 3se
can't remember... too many i guess...

if i miss anyone out, tell me kaes! i'll add to the list!

anyway, i really wanna thank all of you ppl for making this day a wonderful day! ireally enjoyed it very much though it was really a wet blanket to have bio test... yupyup.

frightening weeek!!

2005-07-16T19:43:00.000+08:00

eeeeeeks.. this week is stressful and frightening.

first we had chem test. mug like mad but still cun do well cuz all the qns were like damn hard. urghh. felt disappointed at first, but then when i recall back again, i felt kind of satisfied that i could crap out all the stuff i wrote. it was kinda not crap cuz they make sense. haha. oh and thank you mrs choo. for walking pass me and looking at my paper while i was about to give up hope on whatever qn i was at. cuz when you did that, i made myself write down some stuff that i think would um earn me some marks. hopefully i can pass this test. yeah.

then we had a math test. it was kinda urghh. made like a few careless mistakes. esp for the fisrt qn. spent in total 15 min on that qn. cuz i thought i did it wrongly but hahahahaha. it was correct. anyways, yea managed to do all qns just that i din finish the first qn. hopefully i can do well here. yups. getting amath test back next mon. counting ca scores too. dies. i hope i can do better than 1st term. yeah.

then had e math test.quite okie i thought but scored really badly. abused the cosine rule a few times. sighh. i can't understand why people can score full marks while i never did??? sighh

then was oral! i was super funny canns. kk. um first we went there super early. forgot to go toilet but i guess it was quite okie. din feel like goign to toilet in there. kk. sat in the spice room waiting for my turn to go it. was talking to zinc all the while, cracking lame and stupid jokes. we ended up singing songs like wo nan guo! hahahas. she is just so funny.

before i knew it, he waved to me and summoned me into the examination room. as i was walking in there, i reviewed again, my plan in my mind. walk to the table and greet the teachers properly. then take out my ezlink card and hand to them in both hands.

in the end, i was jammed at the door. i panicked. then i went in and saw the both of them staring at me. i freaked out so i immediately greeted them while i WAS WALKING TOWARDS THEM! part a of my plan was ruined. then i realised my mistake and panicked more. then when i was about to sit down, he asked for my ic. i was like "oh! dui4!" -smile- and took out my ic from my pocket and handed it to them in a "na!" way. omgomg!! hahas my whole plan was vanished. then after that read the passage, stumbling a few times. such a contrast with how well i read outside the exmination room la! sighh. anyway, i sort of drifted off when they started the hua ti. sighh. then i kept reminding myself to first biao tai. and so cleverly, i biao tai-ed 3 times. what in the world was wrong with me manns. sighh. then all my yuan yings and jie jue fang fa all flew back to lao shi. aiyoh. then when they ask the 2nd qn, i was like hurhurr.. what kind of qn is that. so i started out contradicting myself. sighh. how bad. then after that, i had nothing else to say and i talked about my personal experience. ????? what am i doing?? gone case already la! shall not talk abt it anymore.

then was lc.the examiner was super funny. cuz it was like um tuned to symphony where they played the o levels. then there were lots of classical music which acted as lullaby to most of my friends in the class. hahaha. but i stayed awake trying to tap the beat of the pieces. then when everyone was like 'sleeping', the examiner suddenly sneezed. then min and wheezy woke up. wong and me and shong were like laughing non stop. its super funny la! then finally after eternity, it started. i sort of drifted off cuz i was warm and hot and yeah. then when i came back, i missed like 3/4 of the thing already. but luckily they repeat it again so it wasn't that bad. kept changing my answers but except for 1 and 5, the rest i'm very confident of my answers. yippes. not as bad as i expected la! yeah!

then its today. sighhh.woke up thinking that it is friday. hahas but then i realised that i had taken my lc so wanted to go back to sleep but realised that i had TP hahahas. so dragged myself out of bed. yeah. then um did tp until 2 plus when ireached home. played piano and then went for lessons where i got a shock and um a whole big load of stress.

i found out that my exam date is um 3rd of august! arghhh!!!! i'm going crazieeee now. ahahaha. i'm the first person too! so my teacher was like "yeah, go and impress the examiner!" whoa!! bigg pressure manns.

i shall go study for lit and um ss and um phy. yay! i'm going to presentation night. peace, i'll give you your flowers as promised. yeah. wait for me! haha. oh and thanks for you flowers during maddcap! :D

maddcap day 2

2005-07-13T18:57:00.000+08:00

MADDCAP 3 RAWKS!!
yeah! oh manns i love maddcap. it rawks my socks!

DAY 2

woke up at like um 9 plus to prepare for maddcap. yeah. wanted to sleep for a longer time but then i realise that i had to be in school by 11! that means i have to leave home by 10.30. so i woke up and prepared. i was kinda paranoid that i would forget to bring anything so iwas running round and round the whole house looking for whatever i missed out. then after that, decided to wear class tee cuz it looked so nice. in the end wore band tee cuz hamster and 2 wore band tee. reached school at arnd 10.45/ yup. went to play basketball. kept missing shoots. this proves how i can't be a basketballer. and squash still rawks more. yippes.

then um went to change and added makeup and stuff. went to perform for the afternoon matinee. the audi was quite filled. feel so proud being able to perform for so many people. yaye! ahha. played all the pieces again and this time i made lesser mistakes. felt a sense of achievement in me that i can't describe. can't wait until the night and last show. i'm gonna do my very best for diana and the sec 4s and sc band.

then after the performance, went to eat dinner. actually not dinnner la! only one chicken wing. hahaas. din like the food so yeah. oh then after dinner, heard the string ensem and they improved so much la! so in tuned and nice!! whoa! way tta go strings! i'm feel so proud of you guys. jia you kaes! then practised with miss ng and then was ready for the last performance.

omg! its super good the feeling i mean! the feeling of presenting gold sc band infront of so many people is there. the band spirit was there too! i felt so excited. not nervous anymore. because i was sure that the band was there behind me, supporting me, never giving up hope on me.

we were sitted on on respective places and waiting for the moment to start. then miss ng raised her baton and we started off with the wonderful, exciting and breath-taking abram's pursuit. we played through the whole piece, improving every sec into the piece. i could feel the excitement rushing up in me. i played my very best andd i made like only a few mistakes. i was so delighted when i reached my high a flat. wheee. the only time i managed to pitch it correctly. haha. yeah.

the rest of the performance was just great beyond great. i was wonderful! ohmygosh!! especially no.1's solo. its damn nice. her sound was like weiting. so clear and nice and refreshing. at first i thought weiting played it but i realise it was her after um some time. its was so nice canns. i feel so inspired la! actually i have been feeing really inspired by her all the time. she's like whoa! yeah.

finally we punctuated our last performance with omens. i played all the high notes all so nicely that i almost wanted to cry. i wanted to tell diana right there and then that the piece was dedicated for her from me. but i din la! cuz i was playing. then when we finished the whole piece, our last performance, i felt so proud of myself! i stood up facing the audience really straight, tall and smart looking. it was a job wonderfully done. when we excited the stage, i was waiting for mr yap to stand at the door, holding it open for all of us, smiling and saying that we did a good job. but i saw no one.i felt alone, lost for a moment. i never knew he'd be such a comfort to me. really! haha. he was the only person i found comfort in. in syf tooo. this maddcap concert is my first concert that i participated in. i was pretty nervous during the first show and so all i did was to stare right into his face and i immediately found comfort. i felt that i wasn't the only alone. then when we were half way through, music surrounded me like a warm blanket wrapping me up. i felt so comfortable and enjoyed myself tremendously that i was so careless that i mispitch everything. then when it all ended, i left the stage, and he told me we did a great job. i was relieved of all stress and worry that moment. haha. thanks mr yap!

anyway, i spent the last night of the concert with yaya, nic, aud, jess and cher. these are the people who stayed with mefor the last night. we just kept shooting and shooting through the net. i felt honoured to be able to spend the night with them. ireally wanna thank all of you for the wonderful time we've spent together.

then when we were all behind the doors for the finale, yaya and i danced to the music. haha. mustafa! oh and weiting, send me the video you shoot. i bet i look spas and ugly inside. but then again, i never look nice. yeah. kind of regretted not doing it properly. was laughing all the way.

ohoh before that, we sang stars and mambo together.
for stars, when we started, i was the only one singing. then the others joined and um got lost. haha. i was horribly out of tune and hmm people were laughing as usual. hahahas.

mambo. was really untidy in the middle but then we ended at the same beat together. we were shouting and dancing, linking arms with the section, swaying with the music. i felt the section spirit, band spirit slowly coming out from us, forming a big SC BAND in the sky i kept looking at. that moment was so wonderful. yesh. we will shine forever more.

then finally, we ended the concert. the first, wonderful and final concert i had with the sec 4s. it was really nice. now i know why it's nice to perform on stage to present and share with everyone what you've got.

MADDCAP 3 will always be in my memories and i will never forget how close i feel to every single one of us in band. it was the best moment for all of us.

now, its the SENTOSA performance that i will certainly look forward to! can't wait! yeah!

MADDCAP 3 day 1

2005-07-09T00:04:00.000+08:00

SCGS MADDCAP 3 2005

welcome! wheee. haha. today is such a wonderful day. i enjoyed it thoroughly. actually not everything la. but um at least now i think of it, i enjoyed it a lot actually. yup. shall describe you my day.

woke up at 3 plus intending to do work. but obviously, such a big slacker like me i din do it la. then at 6, my alarm clock rang la but haha. i turned it off and slept for another 10 min. cuz i was really tired. i wanted to replenish my energy for today. yup. woke up and switched on my phone. and guess what?! mrs logan called me!! O.O! haha. she told me to do something abt the biotech thingy and to tell um some ppl to go for the report writing workshop today. i was supposed to go but realised like um dunno when that it clashed with maddcap. shouldn't have told her i can go la! i'm so sorry mrs logan!

reached school at abt 7.10. looked arnd for hamster and guinea pig. found them and told them abt the last min meeting and felt so rushed.yup. then started lessons.

first period. e math. whoah. i was so lost canns. haha. din understand and was partly super tired. yup. felt quite guilty too. din do my work. second period was english but she wasn't here so she sat in for another period la! suffering. hah! then was um ss. i brought lit instead. read wrongly. but um i borrowed tbk from zoe so not as bad. miss quek is so sweet but um i wasn't really paying attention cuz i think i was super tired and wanted badly to sleep. next. physics prac. it was fun!! whee. haha used the laptop to do some air pressure thingy. haha. anyway, the programme had something wrong so can't submit any results and saved us the trouble to do it properly. haha. oppps. but anyway, my bench managed to get good readings. woots. then end of school! wheeee. maddcap tonight so allowed to skip the last lesson. unfortunately, it was the relaxing cme la! why can't it be like other subjects? haha. um yeah.

was fooling arnd with ant and guinea pig and hamster while others were having recess. draw a shadow of me on the board. haah. yup. stayed there for the whole weekend and mr was like o.O what's that? ahhaahaha. sup hilarious. um yeah. then when recess was abt to end, i packed and went down to band room. yeah. photocopied scores and pasted them neatly. haha. neater than you, rachel! hahas! then um everyone went and abandoned me. ate meepok and um went back to band room to study chem. finished like 2 pages only. super slow. but band room was nice alone in the hot afternoon. then at abt 2 plus 3, hamster and guinea pig returned from guineapig's home and we went to do the fennel thingy.

SIGHH!! someone touched the experiment and um took away the tubing that linked the flask to the fennel extract. urghh! spent like um almost 1 hr trying to look for it. :((( anyway, went back to the band room and then accompanied guineapig to find her friend to pass him maddcap tix. he's sup blur canns. cant even describe the school gate properly. so we spent like um half hr trying to locate him. then in the end he was standing at the bus stop. i felt super retarded la! haha. went backt to band room at arnd 3.45 and went to change.

wearing stockings weren't that bad today. as compared to syf day. hahahs. this time, my stockings din even tear a bit! -beams- so proud of it. haha. um yeah. then worst of all... MAKEUP! urgh! scary manns. added foundation by SMEARING the foundation all over my face. all the pimples will start popping out la! but luckily, the foundation colour was like similar to my skin colour.. thanks to the fact that i went out with eunice to get it. went to wisma and tried to get cheaper kinds but all turned out to be damn ex la! so we tried out luck at the gardian store and the sales person was damn nice! she chose a colour that 2 and i were able to use. heehee.

then added foundation. thanks yaya for helping me add it! whee. i looked quite weird in it. ahha. then fall in to check uniform and then shifted things up. saw cam on the way and she said i looked chio. oh manns. more like chou3 right! haha.

anyway, while i was moving up, mr yap suddenly asked." Meiying, so when are your parents coming?"
i was like," huh? they are not coming."
mryap," why aren't they coming? why so busy?"
i replied," um cuz there aren't anymore tics and they are busy this weekend so can't come."
and i walked off. haha i din wanna talk abt my parents not coming cuz i already feel damn sad.

oh then backstage, mr yap was like talking to my section ppl. then he was like," Meiying, come talk to me!"
"oh okie.."
"so tell me abt ur bf!"
"huh? i dun have bf! i dun even have male friends except my cousins"
"why don't you have male friends?"
"i think boys are retarded"
"so you think i'm retarded?"
"your're a man, not a boy so you are not retarded!" i was feeling super crap tt time so crapped out some stupid converstaion.. opps. hope he doesn't read it.

then went on stage. felt super nervous thus kept mispitching! felt really sad after the performance la! then at the door, mr yap stood there and told everyone of us "good job. well done" i felt damn guilty. should have played better. i hoped that i could go back in time and replay the performance. urghh. then after that played bb with trumpets and um we lost pathetically. cuz i can't shoot. sighh. evillll. anyway, went up for finale feeling really tired and messy. ohoh before finale, yaya and i were dancing to mustafa! really fun! haha. yeah. then after that right when everything was over, i went to pack up my stuff and received 11 flowers! woots. first school performance and i received so many flowers! haha. oh then saw wheezy's bf! haha. his face is sup chubby. ahha. then went home feeling super tired.

shall sleep now! haha. replenish energy for tmr! hopefully i dun oversleep haha.

Maddcap!! wheee

2005-07-07T01:25:00.000+08:00

maddcap is just 1 day away. can't believe it. i never thought that i will be performing in maddcap. i thought i would forever be an audience in the seats, laughing at whoever who made mistakes. but now i know that's being super mean because not everyone's perfect. mistakes are unavoidable. i'm beginning to understand how difficult it is to do things good.

today is just so slack and sianz. i dunno what i'm doing half the time i guess. though tt might not be the case but tt's what i feel now. hahas.

double chem greeted me today first thing in the morning. but it wasn't tt bad. at least i'm not lagging behind and i understand the simple and basic stuff to mole concept. i hope. haha. taught only until the molecular formula thingy. quite okie still. must maintain this speed. otherwise i'm gonna get killed.

next was social studies. miss quek is so nice! haha. played games with us. made me somehow understand the differences of the structure of qns and what we are suppose to look for to answer qns. yup. she rawk. oh and her australian accent with a sweet high pitched voice is really nice canns. and her stands really upright. literally straight line. haha. yup

then english was good. she's back frm sydney! whee. finally. help for tp has finally arrived. but the bad thing is that we haven't done anything yet. shall push more and be more motivated. yupyup. anyway, since she was suffering from lack of sleep, we had early recess and i ate meepok. haha. yup.

then had emath. LOST! total lost. but managed to rebounce back almost at the end of the lesson. haha. shall sort out the stuff tmr i guess. so rubbish can... tues is the test and now i'm lost.

next was hip. haha. laoshi was so funny today. did interesting stuff. hearrd lotsa leng xiao hua... haha. wait till he heard my pig one. hahahha. anyway, i was nice and fun.

then was break and off for madd cap rehearsal.haha. fun:)

reached bandroom at 2.10 and um helped perc. then brought up stands and chairs. then went to change andd i finally know how to tie a tie! woots. haha. weird huh... its been so long la and now then i know how to tie a tie. ahahaha. yup. kept mispitching cuz my throat was super dry and i think she was getting frustrated la. i'm pissed with my self too. shall train up my diaghram. yes. but tell me how. i have absolutely no idea.

anyway, this rehearsal was supposedly good but i think it sounded not really nice to me. hha. cuz i screwwed up. oppps. but aye. i shall stop screwing up. yup. jiayou!

then after band discussed abt it. came up with 2 pretty good ideas only. nth done. sighh. but its okie. i gave a serious thought on how we should do it and um i htink its quite ok. hope others like it. modify it and make it better. uh huh.

reached home at abt 8 plus. was hungry so ate dinner. yumyum.. heehee. then watched charmed. supposed to practise piano but i was really tired so i decided to take a break. really nice show. then slept for half an hr before dragging myself up to shower. and then did hw. but decided to blog before i sleep. so here i am now.. yup

anyway, can't wait for tmr! restringing my racket. going for dental. i wonder when i can take off my braces... wheee... excited.

oh oh and ant gave me a KANGAROO!! its so cute! cuter than the koala kaes... wheee. and nicole agrees with me. haha. manns. i think KANGAROOS rawk! hehee..

things that should be and to be done:

practise piano more effectively and daily
study for the tests!
stop slacking and watching tv
reframe from eating so much. esp chocs.
stay awake to do hw
swing swifter to get the nice 'bang' sound in squash
exercise more! woots there's pe tmr! yeah!

FINALLY!!

2005-07-04T11:24:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhh!!

I FINALLY UNDERSTAND FUNCTIONS!! ITS SO EASY NOW CANNS.
haha. all thanks to my determination to sit down to actually revise all the things they have taught us. feel quite accomplished this weekend. but then again, i haven't exactly finished all my homework. sighh.

finished my zuo wen corrections which were supposed to be done by um last week? haha. then um finished all my a math ws before the collection of files. haha. i bet this is the first time in this year i'm actually so guai. heehee.yupyup. did my lit tutorial hw too. the one on relationship. sounded very crap. but hey. i really sat down to think over what i should write k. but i really think its not good at all. just some really simple and basic stuff that um everyone can see at their first glance? haha. yeah. tried doing the lit character study too. but tt means i have to read through the whole novel again. decided to wait till tonight to do it. hhahahas. oh dears. i left out chem. shall go do later. yup.

ohmygosh... i feel so proud of myself though i did just so little things. O.O a bit the -.-"" right.. but nevertheless, i sat down and did those things in one day. haha. yups.

---------------------------------------------------

saturday i was super depressed and stressed. i realise that i haven't got a month till my exam day. which means i have to start practising piano everyday from now on. i said that like 2 days ago but haven't gotten down to do it. shall start from TODAY! scold me if i didn't because this is really too last minute already. sighh!!

told my teacher that i have school performances next sat and she was like.. no!! you cannot miss lessons now. its too close to the exam date. i only have 16 and 23 to work with you. tt's not enough.

GREAT! should have told her earlier. urgh. then cuz i got a shock after learning that i only have 2 more lessons with my teacher but my pieces are all STILL NOT READY, i was really stressed and so i din play well in that lesson. not as well as the previous one. and my teacher told me that i had to be consistent. WOW another stressful sentence. i'm really pressed for time now. BIG SIGHH!

anyway, i managed to book the studio! wheee. luckily they opened it like um 2 days before i reckon. haha. so i got my 2 dates! wheeeee. um yeah. cuz you see, the piano is totally new so i have to go and get use to it. i played all the other pianos before actually, in my piano centre. cuz my teacher used to change studio everyweek so i get to play different piano everyweek so ahaha. i played every single piano before. but since this is new, i have to play it. long long time since i touch a BRAND NEW PIANO! gosh!! can't wait. haha.

-------------------------------------------------------

is there are real quiet and peaceful place for me? i wanna leave this noisy place.

tt's so random.

i need help for lit!! is there someone who can spare time to go through tet with me?! i really need your help!

things that i need to do:

improve on my lit
exercise more
stop slacking
work more efficiently
concentrate more during lessons and work
practise my piano!

aHHHH hahha.

2005-06-29T18:02:00.000+08:00

aye aye.

today is supposedly a OFF DAY from school. all thanks to the performing arts grp =D gold streak!!

BAND: GOLD
Choir: Gold
Dance: Gold with HONOURS
Drama: Gold
Handbells: Gold

wheeeeee... heehee.

when she was announcing the results, she said," THE BAND, choir, dance, drama and handbells, did us proud in the SYF by all obtaining a GOLD award and dance obtaining a gold with HONOURS award." yaye! finally, BAND is said first. can't wait for next year's assembly when she announce the different performing arts group.
it'll no longer be... "we have the dance, drama, choir, handbells in our performing arrts group. next slide. oh and the band"
it'll be " we have THE BAND, choir, dance, drama and handbells in our performing arts group" =DD

i feel so confident now whenever they say about performing arts group and their syf performances. we no longer have to be in other people's shadow and just sneak around hopefully no one will notice us and criticise us more.

I FEEL SO PROUD OF SC BAND! I LOVE SC BAND! :DD

=======================================

assembly yesterday was bad. just like what cam said. BADD. and i'm NOT gonna like it. because you see, nowadays, school right, every lesson also have to think alot and um assembly is like relax time for me and i look forward to assembly time alot this year. haha. not like last 2 years. i hated assembly. think its just wasting time. but now i appreaciate it more. like alot more. haha. um yeah.

they briefed us about the new disc system. i think i might get expelled soon. the dpoints are so sup easy to get la! O.O plus i dun even know when i break a rule. the socks just slip down unconsciously and um the shirt just um slide out and its untuck. sighh. but its okie. i shall just try to um avoid these things from happening. yupps.

========================================

today had bio tech though there's no school! but its FUN! yooohooo! i really think bio rawks. hahaha. um yeah! i streaked the fungus onto the disc and um dripped 5 drops of oil onto 2 discs. 1 for ecoli and 1 for staph. then um 3 drops of fennel extract onto 2 discs. 1 for ecoli as well and 1 for staph. wanted to do the one we got from steam distillating the fennel but in the end the whole thing dried up and there was only black carbon soot left. sighh. wasted 300ml of steam distillate. but it was a good lesson learnt. to always keep an eye on the experiments that we are doing at the same time. but you can't blame me though. i have 2 eyes only but um 3 experiments were going on at the same time and um i unfortunately missed the one infront of me but watched the one behind me. so weird right. hahas.

returned home and um did amath. finally understand functions. thanks to my determination to finish studying functions before i use the comp. but worksheet 3 and 4 i cun understand and my sis wasn't at home too so i decided to leave it alone first and used the comp. shall do e math later.

okok better do my 700words reflection and um the biotech labels now. if not i'll forget and i'll be in deep trouble! O.O haha. yup.

cereal!

2005-06-25T21:56:00.000+08:00

SIGHH!

a real bad start to a blog entry. um yeah! bad omen! haha. just 2 more days to school reopens. why?! so fast?! i haven't enjoyed and studied enough you know... :((( hurhurr.

anyway, shall talk abt um this whole hols. what i did. then i'll feel guilty enough to start finishing up my work. hahas.

first week: did hist notes. packed cupboard. did chem ws. went to study room but ended up slacking also. bought the first mp3 player but burnt within 4 days. band prac. math olympiad comp + last training session. biotech meetings. piano.

second week: did chem tys. biotech. taupok. piano. went out. a math quizzes.

third week: band prac. finished chem tys. biotech. taupok. bio. higher chinese.

fourth week: band prac. bio. higher chinese. phy. and all hw. piano.

see what i did?? totally nth except hist notes and all hw. not even a single revision la! i'm so screwwed for the new term! helpp! but nevertheless i shall still continue to blog abt this whole weeks stuff. yup

monday.
band prac from morning till afternoon.band prac, diana made us fall in and um scolded us for giving some crap mc and letters and for missing band whenever we like. half a year only and then the mc file is already bursting. diana! sorry. don't be angry. i shall not miss anymore band pracs. hopefully.
then after band prac went out with chara and 1 and 2 to cine. planned to watch show but in the end din cuz apparently i din wanna go home alone on the mrt cuz 2 had to go home cuz her cousin. before that, ate in bk and sat there for a damn long time. yup. then after that walked arnd look for something to buy. then after that went home. yupyup. for more right, look into my archives. blogged abt it before. hahas.

tuesday.
no band prac but supposed to have biotech meeting but had to do the passport thingy. so yeah had to skip biotech. yup. okie went to the passport place and did whatever that was supposed to be done. then went bowling with my family.
first game as bad for me. scored 66. forgot how to play suddenly.
second game was the worst. 61 only. very rubbishy. hahas.
third game was the rising point. scored 80+ i think. somehow i'm warmed up for the game and scored quite ok-ish.
fourth game was rising slowly. scored 90+ i think. hahaha.
fifth game was my best. 108! wheeee. beat my sis by 1 pin! heehee.
last game was 90+ too i think. haha. can't remember.
anyway, total pinfall 482. won my sis by 2 pin fall! wheee. -happified-
8 spares, 3 strikes, 5 spares.

anyway, when we first entered the bowling alley, there were only 3 lanes occupied. abt 5 ppl?? 2 lanes were by 2 veh pro people. one came first and went first. then this eric person was left to bowl alone. he scored so many strikes but wasn't happy at all. as in he wasn't smiling or anything. he had this neutral feeling. but when he missed, he's frustrated? haha dunno him la! feel so spastic playing in the same alley was him. my family when we scored strikes, we would jump and cheer and be very happy. maybe i'm the only one jumping but yeah. he's like strike? nth special la! haha see why i feel spastic? hahas.

then suddenly half way through his game, he suddenly changed lanes. at first he was 2 lanes away from my family but then he switched to the 2 lanes right beside us! O.O giving us lotsa pressure. oh hahah the funniest part is tht when he first bowled the lane right beside us, he slipped and i think twisted his ankle? haha. anyway, till now i'm still wondering why he changed lanes. purposely giving us pressure? haha. anyway, after he's done with his bowling, he went away and my mom scored 128! O.O see how this eric person affects us? haha.. but actually he kinda gave me good luck. the game i played when he changed lanes right, the first ball i striked. then he went away and um i went long gang for the next frame. O.O haha. that was the 6th game. the 2nd game after which he moved. haha. the game with him beside my family, i scored my best game. scored later (from 3rd frame onwards i guess...) when he moved next to my family. hahaha. he brings luck to me! but not to my family. cuz i scored best in that game. wooots.

then went swimming. suddenly had this urge to swim 20 laps. so i did. the more i swim the better it felt so i kept swimming and swimming until it began drizzling that i decided to swim only 20 laps otherwise i could have swam more. hahaha. yup. then went bathing in the club.

ate dinner in the club too. ate chicken rice. delicious and um first dish to be served. woots. haha.so i finished my meal before my younger sister's dinner came up. hahahas.

then return home and um dunno what i did. cant rememebr but basically tt's it.

wednesday.
band prac from morning till afternoon. morning, diana made us fall in and um every late comer run 1 round per 1 min late. diana was super angry too. pumped again too. but this time i cun do it properly. got scolded for sticking butts out. arms sore and painful cuz of swimming. yup. sighh sorry diana and weiting! din mean to! don't get angry anymore. i'll shout louder and do everything properly from now onwards!
then um went for sec 3 meeting after band prac. decide where to go to meet them for uh 1 hr? wanted to go to kap then um decided not to cuz um half of the people were in taka already. oh then took 12 post cards! wheee... haha in um the indoor mac d opp far east.yup then met in taka you know the grand opening there where there's lotsa space. sat down and um some dunno what school people came to do survey for pw abt games. i dun even play them. hahas. so dun come and ask me. haha. yup. then decided on what to play for it. then wanted to do a video. but dunno what plot. wanna do a normal banday but dun want. too cliche. then wanna do syf. save it for next year. then what ghost story ah.. tamago! haha. then after that went to find jian gui dao with yan but cun find anything. sighh. then um after that went home. yeah. then um slept i guess.

thurs.
madcapp rehearsal. black rubber thingy absorbs all the sound. all swallowed up by the rubber mating and um soundproof wall. the em cee are so un- kim gek ish. haha i think she's gonna faint if she listens to that. haha. um yeah.
band, guides, drama, -intermission- handbells, string ensemble, choir
break earlier after the rehearsal. yup

can't remember if anyone was made to run or not. but yeah.

friday.
band prac until 12. had rehearsals in ka. black rubber matting and bells facing the wrong waay round is killing me. 'horns play louder. give me more. more bite horns' that's what ive been listening to the whole rehearsal. i am already giving my loudest. maybe not. cuz i was already very tired. and cuz i had to blow alot, my brains lack oxygen. so i kept yawning. mr yap was like 'three four' and at that moment, i yawned for 2 whole bars. whoa! tt's veh long la! okie then um during break yan was feeling sup pissed and pumped herself. i feel really sorry for her. then after that i though abt diana and i decided to play my best so diana don't have feel angry too. but my accents dun sound like accents and when i play louder, my sound spreads. sighh. bad sign. and when i play louder right, sam lee would suffer. sighh. howhow? no choice la! then after band rehearsal, had sectionals.
before that, cuz um we din wanna go out to have lunch waste time only. so diana asked if anyone was hungry and she had cereals to share.
diana: are you hungry? if you are hungry you can eat my cereals, i'm cereals (serious)! hahahahaha!
in the band room after almost everyone evacuated. not. erm left, euphorns had sectionals with some perc still left to practise some more. hz was practising her drumset, euph and horns are haing sectionals. yan and diana were shouting and instructing us to play. the tension was great. euphorns and hz were fighting to see who can play louder.
suddenly realise how badly i play. din count change notes at different timing. diana was sup pissed. notes unclear. then given break and that's when i went toilet. after tht, everything was suddenly very peaceful. haha. um the tension was gone.hz stop practising. and um diana calmed down and was chilled. then had a nice time playing abrams. abrams rawks even now. i've learnt to cherish it even more. to play it flawlessly is my aim! whee.. then yan introduced a warming up exercise which as fun! haha. yeah then tried diana's exam pieces. quite fun too! then after that went out with yan to get star wars comics with kino. on the way there, saw jas chiam. then realise where diana lives yup. and um 2 forgot her gao zhi and wants me to watch show with her so i can pass the gao zhi to her. btu in the end i din. after getting the comics, i went home. yup. and then did a bit of bio iguess. yup. hahas. and um practise piano.

sat.
morning. woke up and found my house invaded by my sister's friends. haha umthey are here to do project la. then i was reading my chinese book for review and slept again from 11 plus to 2. then um practise piano and went for piano lesson. did quite ok-ish for my pieces. sight reading was quite screwwed. i was panicking cuz i wasn't counting properly and i din sight read properly. aural was just as bad but manage to sing quite ok-ish. oh ah the highlight!

I PASSED MY GRADE 8 THEORY EXAMS! GOT 74. quite good considering i was still cramming info into my brain the night before. and um failing all the trial papers i did.

yay! now its my practical sighh now i'm aiming for merit. yup. hopefully can do better than theory. yup. then after piano lesson, my mom bought 2 pairs of shoes and then um went to this fair place. saw my primary schoolmate justin but i doubt he even remembers me. haha. i realise have good memory. o.O saw yunwei too. she went there for um stefanie sun la! but she's so tan now and awww. so good looking.. haha yupyup. bought meritus madarin chicken rice and other food stuff with $20 vouchers. yup nice food. yup

then after that went to bathe and here i am typing this . haha yeah ttt's abt it see when did i do my hw?

sleepingg...

2005-06-21T10:14:00.000+08:00

o.O

haha. i din sleep at night again. then slept for um 15 hrs straight in a row. dun understand what i mean?

i din sleep on sunday night. 2nd night i din sleep again. haha. quite dead in band la. then yesterday, after i reached home at about 5.45, i dropped dead on my bed and slept from then to 8 plus this morning. sighh.. messed up my biological clock. doubt i can wake up on time when school starts again.

yesterday reached school at 6.45. suppose to reach at 6.30 but apparently i dozed off in the bus and um only stop at the waffle town bus stop. so had to walk back to school. morning walk huh?! quite scary but luckily it was peak hour so um a lot of cars so not that scary. spent 15 min walking back to school and realising that 2 still hasn't reached school yet. haha. she ah. ask me to reach school on time she still came later than me. reached school and saw kelly eating her breakfast. then 2 came in strolling at 7. O.O half hr late. haha. um yeah cuz her father fetched her to school late. whoa. how great. then i should have slept later then...

band prac was ok-ish. just that i was sleepy. uh huh... oh oh then um mr yap made us conduct again!! first one wasn't me anymore. yaye. half and hr before 12, he was like um let them take a break and then he said lets play el bimbo! oh dear! conduct again. yiyan was first then jo then jas ngu then van then ME... when it was my turn he asked the to play e i think. if i din stop, would hav eto continue from c then do coda then the repeat. so after e ended, i stopped and looked at him. he questioned me, did i ask you to stop? i was like harrr...? intending to go back. then he said aie.. nevermind. then i went back.. hah! this is the first time, in 3 times i conduct, i conduct only once through the piece. the first time my conducting was wrong. so did 2 times i think. 2nd time, he made me do c then went back to a and ask me to conduct the band, making them play short. haha this time i did once and it was over! yeah!!

oh anyway, i think mr yap thinks jesc can conduct well. i saw yap nodding at ng and mouthing goood. goood. and giving the thumbs up sign. whoa!! haha. um yeah.

then after band prac, went out with chara, 1 and 2... supposed to watch show but din la. walked arnd looking for something to buy. 1 wanted to buy a wallet, 2 wanted to buy sportsb. but no one bought anything in the end. then after that went home and slept from 5 plus till 8 this morning. haha

funn! haah. yup. going to make passport later. shall go do some homework before that. sighh. i'm beginning to feel tired now. haha. um yeah. HOMEWORK!! suppose to finish them 2 weeks before. sighh. tiredd.

i love my bedd. i seriously do.

harr....??

2005-06-19T15:18:00.000+08:00

hahaha.. what a weird title. just felt like saying harr... eh hehx.

i realised that i have been saying harr... a lot when i'm talking to mr yap. hahaha. like...
mr yap: so do you all have any problems?
me: har...??
mr yap: so what's your problem in playing?
me: um harr...?? oh slurring problem. i can't slur properly.
mr yap: play a b flat major scale for me, slurred.
me: harr..?? oh okie...
hahahaha. practically every sentences i replied also have a harr...??

the conducting part too...
mr yap: can you conduct the first 8 bars of el bimbo?
me: harr...??
mr yap: yah. go ahead!
me: harr..?? -looks at him hopefully he's joking-

hahaha. i realised it since i joined band. everytime i talk to him i will harr..?? he has this harr..?? look. hahahaha.

i realised i have been talking crap.. -bleahx-

okok. backk to um un-crapped stuff...
manns. next week is damn packed for me. most prob i will for get my schedule again then poor rach and wen and van will have to try and remember for me.. hhaha...

monday: band prac in the morning. then after that study.
tuesday: passport stuff. then um dunno what time will end so most prob family time. ahh yesh. cuz of this i can't go for biotech meeting. rach can't go too...prefect board meeting. yup. must remember to tell wen and van. haha. yup
wednesday: band prac in the morning. then after lunch um sec 3s meeting...
thursday: band prac, mad capp rehearsal. then after that taupok meeting.
friday: band prac then study.
saturday: piano.
sunday: pack for school reopen..

oh yesh. i must remember to print out the new time table. yeah. oh and get new file. for um new term? maybe next time i guess.. currently broke. ahaha.

shall i put my tag board back?? maybe i shall.. haha. um yeah. later i guess. -bah-

PEOPLE... come for mad capp concert kaes.. oh and those who comes, buy me flowers.. HAHAHA... manns i'm so thick skinned. opppps. anyway, come for MAD CAPP. my first school concert performance. dun miss it. wheeee... haha

i'm a busy woman!!!
o.O

ARGHHHH!!!!

2005-06-17T02:09:00.000+08:00

MEIYONAISE ARHHHHHHHHH... whhy are you so so RETARDED huh???

sighh.

reasons for being so retarded today:
1. din go for biotech meeting today and i BET they did INTERESTING stuff.
um. bio rawks can...

2. din go for acjc concert though i could have been sponsored 7 bucks.
um. acjc concert is super nice can....

3. suppose to do project work now but um blogging now.
um. superr behind time for project work can...

4. my phone has only 95 cents left.
um. suppose to last me until sat.. will die.

5. gonna rush like mad tmr cuz there's toa payoh meeting.
um. rush hour 2?? less than half hr to FLY to toa payoh. HAH!

sighh. issn't this wonderfull? um. actually not. feeling super irritated now. plus im' starving.

shall finish my pw now. and STOP SLACKING... yup

boredd!

2005-06-09T01:24:00.000+08:00

boredd! tt's what i am now cans. bored.

the music on my blog is just so inspiring that i feel like practising my piano this very moment but haha.. its like erm 2.30 am now?! hurr...

anyway, the music is so nice, soothing, gentle, calming and it just simply expresses myself out though i'm not the one who played it. its just so me-like. so familiar, comforting and sounds like its been there for a long time but never ending and tired of it. always seems so right at any occasion, any time, any feelings of me. its like some piece i composed in my previous life and now its coming back to me. i can feel the music deep down inside me, filling up my soul and giving this kind of assurance that i never felt before. its a home-sweet-home kind of feeling yet its also a only me in the world kind of feeling. this music, its so simple yet so beautiful, expressive, sweet, meaningful, elegant, grand etc. i can describe it and it will never end. it seems to have a lot of things to tell me. about my comfort zone, my personality, my life, my everything.

this is how wonderful music can be. that's why its known as paradised-music. it can even be more paradised than paradise. it just seemed so right and flawless. describing things that words can't describe. tt's how wonderful it is. there can never be anything wrong about it, anything to argue with. there isn't a right or wrong tune is there?

this music is the best companion in the middle of the night, with everyone sleeping, everything so quiet and peaceful. nothing to interrupt it. just so pleasing to the ears. yupyup

finally, when i have decided to not talk to anyone and sink in depression, it just doesn't seem right. i have to keep up with my cheerful front otherwise i'm not myself. tt's what i've been told. how great. somehow i just hope to go to school and roam around like a zombie and not do anything except study, listening and paying attention in classes. i just wanna be in my own world where no one can disturb me where i have all the time that i want to to myself. irealise that i haven't exactly been spending time with myself. with everything but myself. i need to understandmy true self. do i have time to spare?

o.O math olympiad

2005-06-01T17:56:00.000+08:00

haven't recover from the math olympiad syndrom though it was over yesterday. haha. it's very funny when i come to think of it now. haha.

went to NUS for math olympiad competition, senior category. haha. yupyup. as you can see, i'm not smart AT ALL so i din know how to do almost the WHOLE PAPER. haha. wooot. how great right?! erm. yeah just guessed my way through. anyway, i suddenly realise how naive i am. hehx. the instructions state: please answer ALL 35 questions. i was like: oh really ah? so i answered all the questions. randomly writing answers that i think i quite acceptable. haha. quite dumb of me right? haha. should have solve questions slowly and get the right answer. ahahaha. nevermind. i shall try again next year, shall i? i'll see how next year. if i have the time then i join. ahahaha.

anyway, even before the competition started, i was quite pissed already. the people were late, invigilators were disorganised and slow, and the personsitting beside me was so so distracting. i don't wanna talk abt it already. typed so much in the horn blog. shall not complain so much. interested to know come and ask me personally haah.

the nus lecture theatre was so so so so cold!! haha. though i was wearing pe i still had to wear my jacket and keep rubbing my hands for friction! haha. but ant wasn't cold at all. cuz she says that the choir room is much colder so its quite okie to her. hmmms. maybe i shall start going to the choir room. haha.

oh then today i was late for the biotech meeting. felt guitly abt it. so did was much as i can and try to find good results. yup. did the format of the report writing and sent it to skye just now. wheee. feel quite okie. finally sat down and concentrate and finished one chapter of history notes. haha. shall do more homework! yupyup. feel so satisfied that i did work. o.O right? haha. feel so inspired to do well in everything and i wanna buy the physics assessment book! haha. do well in physics is one of my aims by the end of the year.

so sad i think i'm forever stuck at 156. why?! anyway tt's the truth and the fact. its okie. i'm still taller than alot of other people. haha. always look on the bright side of life. haha.

ptd

2005-05-25T12:57:00.000+08:00

today's PTD and i don't have to go to school!! whee.. haha. hmmms okie.

now at this moment, my dad's meeting my teachers. i'm at home feeling so so nervous. what will happen next i certainly do not know but arghh. just let it happen and then accept whatever that comes. yeah.

anyway, i have cleared my archives so its so empty now. din wanna clear but since i have done it i shall not regret. yup. anyway, this urge to clear my archives is due to some reasons that i shall not cite. yup.

anyway, my whole hols are being taken up by band, and more project works. yup. sighh. i hope i have time to study.

... syf!!

2005-04-15T21:25:00.000+08:00

heyys.. its has been a long time since i last blog and i shall update more about what really happened recently.. yup. (:

i have been really busy with my school work as well as preparing for the one and only syf i'm taking part in. the process though was hard and tiring but i made it through as syf was yesterday and we made it through as a band. it was really incredible.

i love band.

now if you ask me to go back for band prac i won't mind at all. seriously i don't mind. i want more band prac. MORE.. but maybe after i really get my basics first. otherwise i think my sound is not really nice. gonna practise more basics and long tones and not force so much. okok. enough of crapping. i shall talk more about SYF!!! how exciting... wheeeee..

yesterday was syf day. 14 april 2005. a memorable day. a day when i really felt what true happiness after hard work is. everything seemed just right yesterday and nothing could go wrong at all. that was how i felt after syf. but before that, everything was just wrong. see the difference? i actually also din really get it until i realise when i got home. yup.

thursday morning on the 14th of april. i woke up feeling tired cuz i slept quite late at about 12 plus. i cun sleep any earlier because once i reached home from school, i was so so tired that i slept once i reached home without dinner, bathing or even changing.. yup.. okie. theen i realise that it was band syf.. a sudden nervourness crept over me and i started to tremble a little. the stress that i was feeling was so incredible that i din even believe it myself. i woke up a little later than i intended and rushed through packing my stuff. yupx. left the house and then.... i realise that i forgot to bring my wallet. urghh.. bad omen! i thought at first. so had to get money from my father and then went to school.

reached school wearing the black band tee. feel quite out cuz lyk i'm the only one wearing black along the way i passed. went to my class and ppl started asking me whether my syf was today or not and i was looking quite nervous i guess. then talked to them. mt was damn funny. she said she like the band tee and wanna buy one. i knew it. band tees are always nice. ^^ haha... okie then after flag raising, went to take english compre test la.. arghh.. we were supposed to be excused from any tests on that day. then tt jt la.. din allow us to skip it. said something like " i'm not in the position to decide for you but i will let her know that the three of you are going for syf", " anyway, you all are leaving at 9 right, i'll be going at 8.40 so you ask the next teacher who comes in to relieve you all to let you all go", " just do whatever you can" okok. fine i am pissed cuz we had to do. i did until half way then had a super bad stomachache. went to the toilet for 10 min. i was lyk thinking... what a bad start. but nonetheless, i returned and finished the compre questions except the summary.

went down to the band room at 9 am. feeling more nervous. people started giving out letters to each other etc. many people were polishing their instruments but luckily i did that the day before. yups. then diana announced that we go for a break to eat and change into full band u. yup. went to eat mee pok. damn nice. okie. then went to change with yan, aud, ya, nic, and number 2. tried wearing the stockings but obviously i was too fat and my toe nails scratched against the stocking and created lotsa holes.. haha. okie. nvm la. as long as i can wear it then it should be okie. yups. went to band rrom at abt 10.20 liddat and surprisingly, yap, he was there already. once i saw him, i felt lyk crying. i was really getting damn nervous. my first syf major performance. tuned up and it was okie. did some last min changes and then went off to singapore conference hall. sat beside k in the bus and keep myself distracted looking at how she polish her bone, preventing me from crying. when we reached, my tears threatened to come out. but i forced myself to not cry. i promised yan not to cry there. no matter what.

okie. when we alighted and was brought to a deserted waiting area, i started to realise that i had a lot of saliva that was in my horn. i started panicking and keep asking diana to help me empty. in the end, cuz i know my horn best, i emptied and there was so so so much saliva and i got a shock. okie. then went into the tuning room. tears were brimming in my eyes. i kept looking around trying desperately not to let them fall. i had to stay strong otherwise how to play when i'm crying?! so yeah. i din cry. rach was damn nervous too. can see her tears. damn scary. consoling each other, wishing each other good luck and all. yap, spent veh little time in the tuning room. din even tune the horns cuz he knew that the whole band would be flat so just let it be. otherwise we would sound even more weird. yup. swee kept playing wrong tuning note which made me more nervous. diana's eyes were red too. dunno why also. but she said she was calm. okie. then it was on the stage..

felt super super nervous. wanted to break down and cry then sleep and not think of anything. but i thought of diana, mr yap, my section, my hardwork, i decided to do my best, give my best shot and somehow i knew i would be able to do it. starting of singapore raphsody was veh good!! but i screw the horns entry. quite sad though... haha. then i was damn nervous that my sound was super unclear. trembling quite a lot but it was okie. then it was the long awaited abrams' pursuit!! the starting was splendid. thanks euphos and tamago!! they had the starting done nicely and without this starting, we would have screwed up the whole thing. once i heard the starting, i was smiling lyk an idiot to myself. couldn't believe we made it. tang, number 1 clarinets and flutes.. the troubling part was also on time. perfect. everything was just so wonderful until my part. i tried and tried not to mispitch and play clearly but fail miserably. screwed up 166 too.. cuz at first he cued us so when i din see his cue, i din play for 2 groups then the next group was lyk 2 beats away so i lost count and din play it. the last group. i mispitched!! felt damn bad. previously practised so hard and got all groups right in school but ended up liddat. aiyah. then left the stage. felt so depressed that i almost broke down when i saw him standing at the steps sending us off the stage. i looked down at the ground, bit my lips to prevent my tears from coming out.

after we left the stage, everything was lyk over. i wished there and then i would be given a second chance and i would pitch everything nicely for you. but there isn't anything as second chance. so i just cheered up. yup. watched and waited for 19 other bands to performed and then until the last band. 20 ppl from each band were allowed into the hall to listen to the results. i was selected. went in but we din know there was another band inside waiting to perform. dm went in first then a guy told her on the left there wasn't any more space but she din care much abt it. continued and walked to the left end. then the guy at the left end scolded us " we are not announcing the results yet and there is no space here. go there and sit down. you can't just let the whole band stand throughout the last band performance." we were so embarrassed so we quickly settled down and watched the performance. felt damn bad cuz we delayed the last band. and everyone was waiting for us to settle down so they can start. finally they finished and then they announced that they are going to release the results soon. yupx. okok.

the mcee was lyk " only 20 ppl are allowed in for each band" we had 22 ppl. mr yap came in and asked all the sec 3s to get out. i felt so anti climaxed and din wan the results anymore. felt lyk dying that instant. arghh.. went out and the mcee's math was so poor that he can't even divide properly la. still say what" dun cheat ah. we can count. my math is not that bad" but can't divide so is his math bad? yessss!!! arghh. can't stand him. okok. then the long awaited results...

the announcer was so long winded la.. thanked the judges, 5 of them, saying their names and their positions so damn slowly. okie.. my heart was thumping damn fast and i knew it would jump out if we din get gold. then he said "band 105, singapore chinese girls' school... -pause- -silence- gold!"

i was stunned. i din know how to react for a few moments and then finally when i regained my composure, i screamed, jumped with joy and hugged people. some started crying but i knew i wouldn't cry there. i can't cry there. i don't wanna cry there. but i teared after i saw jo crying very badly. i felt so happy, and so much joy in me. actually, i wanted to be alone and silently digest the info that sc got gold!!!

waited for the other bands to be announced. one band got copper. people were lyk " oh..." then they started clapping. quite retarded. haha. opps. haha. okok. then finally the other ppl inside came out. yan came running towards me and i hugged her instantly. my tears finally came gushing out. i broke my promise. i cried there. very badly too. then got chased by him cuz lyk we were the last 2 ppl still down there hugging and crying. yup. my legs were trembling while i went down the steps. went to collect my horn and then saw dm. a lump gathered in my throat and i went to hug her. we have worked so hard and finally we did it. i cried again after i took so much effort to stop... then i couldn't stop until i board the bus. we did it!!! wheeeee... on the way to the bus, heard a band playing singapore raphsody and i cun stop crying. arghh.. quite irritating. tears kept flowing non stop. tried playing abrams on the bus.

reached school and found out that recruits and jnrs stayed until lyk 8 plus waiting for the news that we got gold. haha.. so happy and touched. we played abrams the last time in the memory of syf and i felt so bonded. we actually played without a conductor. co operated very well too... results of syf. :) haha. then jnrs gave a mini speech and presented a packet of lays for the band. quite comical la. a band sharing just a packet of lays.. haha. okie then peace and percussion eunice gave a speech too. telling us how they are so so so proud of us... they are so cute. haha. yups. went to change and then went to marche for dinner.

then after that, dad gave sam lee a lift home. yup.. haha. then once i got home i dumped all my things on the ground and then went to sleep. wanted to wake up earlier today to study physics but failed cuz i was too tired. yup. yawns lyk 40 plus times today in school la.. haha. broke record liao... heehee. tt's abt it la..

i love this band. i really do.

all i just wanna do now is to cry my heart out, let all the emotions in me be expressed... either screaming or crying or laughing etc. i just wanna let go of all the emotions and then feel free. yan.. lets go out to the beach on day and scream, laugh, cry!! haha.

horns rawkz. sc band rawkz. YEA.
7
ps. this is the longest entry so far... yup and its abt syf. :) :D

band camp

2005-03-19T15:06:00.000+08:00

heyys...
yesterday just break from band camp.. yup band camp was fun!! i really think band rawks, abram's pursuit rawks, french horn rawks... i really do think so!! haha. mann.. only 25 more days to syf and now i really feel the tension and the excitement and the stress and the pressure to do well and get a gold!! hahas.

okie since march hols are abt to end, i shall tell you abt my whole march hols, excluding today and tmr.. cuz i dunno what's gonna happen la.. ahaha.. lame.. i'm really going to be crippled soon. yup you can ask diana.. haha. okok..

hmms.. i shall start last saturday which is the 12 march... hehx.

sat 12 march
i had piano theory exams at 2 pm in acsi in dover road. yupx. felt very tired in the morning so slept until lyk abt 9 plus 10?! yeah. quite slack. planned to wake up at abt 7 to mug for the exams but too bad la.. haha mug for only a while before departing my house for the acsi. yupx. left house at abt 1.15pm and ate a stick for sausage covered with waffle for lunch and headed for acsi. reached there at abt 1.45pm and i wanted to get in to sit at the table and mug summore budden the invigilator says that i could go in but cannot study. where got such thing but anyway yeah.. ahaha. i stood outside the classroom and mug until he asked us all to get into the examination room..
the invigilator is a handsome, tall, young, well built man.. tt's all i can rmb abt him cuz i don't start at him all the while since i have an exam to do. yepx then there wasn't any class clock so all of us followed his watch which is lyk 8 min faster than mine so i had some difficulty following his time yeah. luckily he sort of counted down on the white board so wasn't tt bad.. yup
then you know right, after 40 min into the paper, ppl can start to leave right? and its in an exam room and i realised tt i have been quite slow and not on my planned time so i was panicking and was super engrossed in my paper.. so when he interrupted to inform us that we could leave and said," excuse me,..." i screamed cuz i got a shocked.. haha. it was super quiet and i was super engrossed in my work so when he talked, i screamed.. damn malu.. everyone turned back and looked at me because i was seated in the middle row, last person.. the invigilator immediately apologized.. ahaah.. now i think abt it, i think i was siao4 that time.. 0.0... haha.
the paper was quite manageable though i kinda rushed at first. however i think i din really composed well cuz i couldn't think of what to compose so yeah. some ppl started singing their composition and was quite out of tune.. hehx. quite pissed.. hehx.
then when the paper ended and i had checked 4 times, i was super happy la.. haha.. took my own time to pack and i was last to leave.. ahaha in such a good mood cuz lyk i finish my grade 8 exams finally that i even said thank you and bye to the invigilator.. eh hehx. i think i'm siao4 on that day.. haha.
then rushed to taka to meet grace and yiyan for hc BAND concert.. hahs. bought macD for dinner but ate only during the intermission at abt 8 plus. the band concert was quite nice and there was a super pro trombonist who could play 3 octaves or even more on his trombone la.. haha.. went out with my sis and classmates and climbed over the gate to take bus to kap to macD again.. ahaha. then reached home at abt 11 plus and doze off in my bed.

sun 13 march
what did i do? hw most of the time i think.. hehx. skip skip skip

mon 14 march
finished 7 out of the 19 hw tt i have. this is so not holiday at all la.. haah.. plan to finish whatever i can on tues but read on and you'll know. went running with my sis and then she was late for her tuition.. hehx. quite guilty but she said she din really lyk tt tuition so what can i do?! heh. kk skip skip...

tues 15 march
physics workshop!! haha. i was abt 10 min late cuz i woke up late. but it was super fun.. got glue on my fingers and hands but it was fun.. haha. found out tt the physics lab was dripping.. haha. kk. then i'm supposedly having sectionals budden rach cun make it so din have it.. haha.. luv you rach.. haha. okie.. then went home with eunice 2... plan to go to school earlier on wed to do the other wing and also to run.. haha.. 10 rounds and 2.4 coming.. syf too.. need stamina.. physically and mentally. ahaha. okok.. reached home and was quite tired. finish reading huo zhe and did practise piano. yup. realised tt my fingers are as stiff as iron and cannot play now. die.. mdm merle sure kill me.. sigh.. better practise hard from now on. ahaha. then din do any hw. so yeah..

wed 16 march
woke up late again!! haha. suppose to meet yan at 7 but reached at abt 7.20.. haaha.. okok.. went to run with her.. ran 4 instead of 6 but neh mind la.. ohoh and finally tang was late ahaha.. he came to open the lab at 7.45 instead of 7.30 la.. ahaha.. okok then he din have time to collect the stuff so ended everything earlier. went to look at his worm farm which he hadn't cleaned and he was quite happy tt we actually went to see his worm farm.. ahaha.. yupx. went for band prac and miss ng only came shortly after i come i think yeah. practise then went for sectionals then went to watch a movie called drum line.. haah veh nice and hmms.. one band one sound. enjoy playing with your bandmates.. yupx.. tt's what i'll try to achieve until syf.. went home and then pack for tmr stayover..

thurs 17 march
went to school at 8 when the camp only starts at 9.. number 2 says she's coming at 8 so i came at 8 too.. then when i msg her at 8.10 she says tt she's still waiting for her father to drive her to school. so waited until 9 for her to come.. haha. shin yee came but went off yup then she came back before dinner and then i dunno what else she did.. yup
at 9 we fall in as a platoon and marched, ran and did some kinda formation and stuff.. yeah.. okie.. hmms then went for sectionals until 12.35. supposed so have lunch at 12 but diana forgot the time so had lunch at abt 12.50 liddat. finished lunch at abt 1.30 then had combine until abt 2 plus 3 liddat then the guest conductor, lao shi, came and conducted us.. his way of conducting is damn funny and he's a french hornist too.. tt's why he kept on doing the fingering for the french horn while conducting with the other hand.. quite funny.. haha. then went to bathe... but yan and i din bathe. instead we went to run 5 rounds ahaha.. damn funny then went to do sit ups and climb the monkey bar. saw diana and weiting at the fitness area asking for the time.. haha. then we saw them at the grass patch mysteriously dunno doing what.. haha..
went back to have a late dinner cuz the caterer was late.. stupid caterer, make us all starve and waste our time too.. sighh.. haha. after dinner, we were separated into grps... my grp, grp 3, the c grp.. haha.. super funny.. hmms.. c grp consist for me, yan, amilyn, joanne, nicole, yossy, zhao xian, chen xi yupx. we were a veh funny bunch of ppl.. keep singing abrams!! haahah.. envy us?! haha.. okie.. hmms.. we were led to the field and then asked some qns then went for some treasure hunt.. (night walk) ahaha.. veh funny.. haha. then after the night walk had a band talk in the court yard.. sang a chaotic abrams for diana and weiting.. haha.. then we sat in a circle and diana talked and talked.. lighted some candles and waxed the ground. yeah. ahaha. then at abt 10.55 liddat, we were allowed to go back to the sleeping rooms but yan me diana and aud were star gazing in the courtyard.. damn cool.. so peaceful and calming then.. staring at the vast sky makes me feel lyk going to the beach and admiring the vast sky merging the sea.. so peaceful and calming and nice.. i wanna go to the beach!! haha.. then went back and lights out at 11.30.. haah slept and then....

fri 18 march
woke up at abt 7 plus and changed into band tee.. ate some snacks before going down to fall in at 8.. ran for 8 rounds and did some basic footdrills.. quite okie.. went to have some breakfast with super sweet milo.. nic, my happy meal toy is still with me.. star star.. hahaa... went back and did some warming up with miss ng before departing for acsi.. haha.. had exchange with them, and 16 other schools la.. some were good while others were better.. haha.. some bands were apb too.. ahaha they are super expressive tt they moved and moved and really action mann.. ahah..
our performance was quite screwed cuz we started too fast and at the end, though we were a small band, we were the loudest band.. ahah.. quite scary la.. 2nd last to perform but alot of ppl left so it wasn't tt bad cuz lyk not so many eyes staring at us.. yeah.. we were super scared and it really showed when miss ng corrected the seating of the clarinets and flutes on stage.. their face suddenly drain of their face colour.. haha.. quite comical..
the recruits were screaming and cheering us on but we appear lyk scared rabbits lack of confidence.. haha.. we were lyk so scared and appear veh fragile budden our music was loud and the total opposite of how we looked ahaha.. damn funny.. hehx.
then you know tt young actor wen long, starred in on my own, he's a perc, in charge of bring sc band arnd.. i think he lyks diana cuz lyk he saw us eating some snacks and he suddenly offered diana,"i go get drinks for you" and went off.. used his own money summore la.. ahaha.. diana.. not bad arh. hehx. but tt wen long is actually not veh veh good looking as i thought la.. hah. height, quite okie... abt same height as mr jeow.. ahaha.. then spike hair... something liddat. din pay much attention to him la.. ahaha. for more description, ask diana.. ahaha..
then went back to our school and had some debrief and then break camp. i was sup sup tired then hurriedly rushed home, forgetting my sleeping bag there in the band room.. sighh. haha.. but its okie.. haha. din bathe for ly 2 days.. stink lyk mad in the bus.. but was sleeping so din really care abt the ppl's expression. hehx.

sat 19 march
woke up at abt 9 plus, realising my sis needed the sleeping bag in the band room.. sighh.. bo bian so my mum went to buy another one.. all cuz of me la.. aiyah.. my memory is really failing me mann.. ahaha. okie.. practised piano just now.. going to bathe and go for piano lesson later.. cuz after piano lesson going for my sis's performance.. damn excited abt it.. haha.. lalaala..

shall update some other time.. this entry veh long liao.. my hands are tired.. hehx.
neway, this is chinese proverb is name meiying proverb:
you fun tong xiang, you nan tong dang, you ku tong shou!!
haha.. meaningful right?! thank you thank you -waves hand-
hehx. lame. i'm going to be crippled soon.. helppp!! kk. i'll stop being lame.. yeah!!

jia you for syf!! only 25 more!! jia you!!

obs!! haha..

2005-03-10T18:59:00.000+08:00

heyys.. i've been so busy nowadays but anyways, i think its time for me to update my blog abt my obs.. sigh.. its a long story but i'm too lazy to type out everything la.. so shall just say everything brief..

obs is a really very wonderful journey that taught me a lot of things.. it has taught be how to be more responsible, how to lead a group in a better and more efficiency way, how to initiate things and blah blah.. these are all supposedly to be applied in my daily life but too bad.. haha. haven't applied it yet.. -bleahx- still being very irresponsible and stuff la.. haha.. miss obs. i love outdoor classrooms.. i dun wanna go back to school.. hehx.

first day:
reached there, sorted out into watch and i was in SHACKLETON!! okie.. the name sounds very nice and by the way, shackleton rawks.. haha.. henry ernest shackleton, an explorer.. and shackleton, a movie.. mann.. i wanna watch the movie but hah. how am i gonna get it?! anyway, instructor was vanessa t. and she's so cute.. haha. and she rawk la
played some icebreakers and a trust game.. then after that, went to sort out our rations for the 5 days.. seemed to have very little food but then haha.. i shall say more abt it later.. then after that, went to pitch tents in a forest.. my buddy watch was suppose to camp at our area too but there was some miscommunications so in the end, my watch was the only one in tt area.. yup. but it was very fun.. sleeping on hard ground.. oh practise belaying too.. fun and more fun. cooked rice for dinner, but it was a little too wet but nemind, ate it still.. yup. okie hmms. then wash up, then went to sleep!! haha.. fun.. okie.. vanessa went to put lightsticks on the way to the campsite and we just followed the lightsticks and stuff.. haha. okie. then went to sleep and then...

day 2:
woke up at 6.40, suppose to meet by 8 i think.. but ended up late la.. of course.. hahas. vanessa got pissed and then yeah. i was the leader for the day. not tt wonderful la.. hahas. went to rock climb and this time, i was above the red line!! haah. improved since adventure learning camp.. not bad ehh?! haha. okie.. then went to pack stuff for the sea expedition and stuff.. changed into wet clothes, learnt and practise kayaking. fun!! the capsizing was fun.. rescueing was interesting.. haha. then kayaked to campsite.. pitch tents in the dark, cooked and washed in the dark.. fun.. haha.. then it was the next day...

3rd day:
woke up at abt 4 plus 5.. din brush teeth.. haha. cuz not running water and no toothbrush etc.. haha.. then after that did sea expedition!! kayaked for 8 hours, 16 km!! so proud of mahself.. partnered charlene and she totally rawkz.. ahhaha.. i was so frustrated so sometimes i screamed at her.. but she never shouted at me back.. she just rawk la.. then later she said that she din have the energy to shout back.. so i'm lyk so guilty now.. haha then hiked back to camp 2 and pitch tent and then ate maggi mee.. maggi mee tasted so nice cuz we were all veh hungry.. vanessa wanted to make mocha for us but din in the end but its okie.. haha nice of her to offer.. slept in wet tents cuz it rained!! haha.. then...

day no. 4:
woke up at 6.40, and packed and stuff.. went to camp one to try out some height elements... did the idiana boat thingy and the double dangle duo.. haha.. veh fun.. had cooked and catered lunch and dinner there.. fun!! haha.. vanessa had to go somewhere and i mean SOMEWHERE.. quite suspicious right?! haha.. then tt yong kang person had to lead us back to camp 2.. haha.. he's quite funny la.. lyk the way he introduced himself.. he said (one hand slightly above his head lyk in a salute position) hi i'm yong kang.. then kaeting right.. she said tt yong kang reminded her of huan zhu ge ge's yong qi and er kang combined together so when he introduced himself, everyone started laughing la.. haha.. damn funny.. then i think he wanted us to cheer or clap for him so he lyk 'introduced' himself again but we laughed again la.. quite mean.. but yeah.. he's quite bad also la.. made us wait 40 min for him to arrive to bring us back to camp 2.. then he said he would come around to check the stall at abt 8 i think but he never turned up cuz he told donnie tt he's going back to camp 1 without checking on us la.. but nemind.. tt kim chuan came to check on us.. he's veh strict la.. really appreciated vanessa's patience.. but yeh.. its okie.. went to sleep at abt 12 plus..

last day:
woke up and packed summore.. vanessa came to check the stall at abt 8.10 liddat.. everything was almost done except for the tents and ponchos.. yup. packed everything and met up with her for a little debrief sort of thing.. mann really miss her.. played the last game with her before departing for mainland singapore the deedum deedum deedumdeedumdeedum game.. funn!! .. sighh.. din even say a proper goodbye to her.. quite sad.. regret it now.. but the good thing is that the whole sec3 is quite bonded now cuz of obs.. i really enjoyed..

i wish that vanessa will be able to read this:
i really wanna say a big thank you for all the patience you have that tolerated all our bad behaviours and all that you have done for us!! you rawk.. i know tt when you disappeared on the 4th night is cuz you had to do something for your marriage right? haha.. don't need to be shy abt it cuz lyk i think ur fiance told his watch abt it so yeah.. haha.. i saw e engagement ring on ur ring finger too.. quite nice haha.. neway, take care and thanks again for everything you have done for us!!

okie.. tt's all for obs.. i shall update sometime later again during march hols or something.. btw, there's another band camp coming up!! can't wait.. haha..